Trust your self.

Trust your self. Your hidden self, the self that knows how you can show up in the world. 

How we show up in the world is not one self, for each of us plays many roles in this single lifetime. How you show up for your child is different than how you show up for your partner or friend. How you show up at work changes depending on if you are interacting with your coworker, your client, or your boss. 

We would like to think that we can be the same person for all of these roles, that we can bring our authentic self to each of these interactions. But we can't. Each person is asking and expecting something different from us. 

So which of these is your true, authentic self? Which is these is the self that we should trust?

The simple answer is none of these, and all of these.

Chogyam Trungpa says: 

The bad news is you're falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. 
The good news is, there's no ground.

We are constantly searching for an identity to hold onto to prevent that feeling of falling (and failing). We are searching for a form that suits us and the image in our heads of who we can be. There is comfort and reassurance in knowing we have a ground to stand on and a position to stand by. 

But there is no ground. Those titles that we have and those roles that we play are not truly who we are or what we do, because we are not one-thing. 

And yet, in the process of discovering who we are, we generously meet people where they are at, helping them in some way. In Seth Godin's new book The Practice, he says:

Generosity is the most direct way to find the practice.

That's the good news. In the process (practice) of discovering who we are and our place in the world, we can get comfortable with the fact that there is no ground, and no fatal crash at the end that is going to be the end of us. When you no longer need to worry about hitting the ground, falling starts to look like flying, and you can direct your attention to starting to learn how to navigate that new space. 

Learning how to navigate life with openness, responsiveness and availability is itself a worthwhile practice, regardless of the results of your endeavor. As Seth says: 

Do you trust yourself enough to commit to engaging with a [practice] regardless of the chances of success?

Changing the story.

I am continually inspired by my brothers and sisters on the path who are dedicated to their practice and generous with their time and energy.

One of the people who has inspired me is Seth Godin who introduced me to a new definition of an artist.  An artist is someone who makes an impact, benefits someone and effects change.  In this sense we all have the opportunity to be artists, regardless of our profession.  We all have the opportunity to take a moment, lend a hand, to truly listen and share generously.

We all have an opportunity to care. 

The thing about being an artist is that you don't create art all the time.  Not everything you do in your day is about making an impact.  Most of your day will be spent doing your job, working on the tactics, getting things done.

The artist can be busy and still make great art.

For me, this relieved a great burden, something I actually struggled with for a long time.  I was carrying a lot of frustration and aversion to being busy and working hard because I wasn't able to devote myself fully to making an impact.  I felt that too much of my days, weeks and months were wasted because I could be doing something better.  I could be doing better work but my work itself was preventing me from actually doing that.  That resistance to the nuts and bolts, ground level experience of my job (and life) prevented me from seeing and seizing those moments when I could act, when I could be generous.    

The function of our work is to make an impact, but not all the time.  We struggle to find meaning in our work and in our life, but we need to create meaning.  If we could even spend 10% of our time seizing those opportunities to make an impact and to care, we would find great meaning in our life.  It would even allow us to be really good at the busy, mundane, daily responsibilities that we need to fulfill because they would further create opportunities to create art. 

I can tell you that even 10% is hard.  It is too easy to hide in the busy tactical aspect of your life, too easy to keep your head down and keep plugging away at what you are doing.  We hide in the busy and then complain when our work has no meaning.  We fight internally against the resistance, but the resistance often wins and prevents us from stepping away and actually caring.

That is the fight, the struggle.

If we can recognize and identify that resistance, then we can actually find ways to reduce it.  Once we know what it looks like and what it is trying to do, we can push through the resistance and strive to make an impact, strive to care.  Start to create art.  

Let's fix diffusion.

Diffusion is the natural and spontaneous movement of a substance from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration.

Perfume diffuses in a room to leave a pleasant fragrance.

A teabag diffuses in water to make an enjoyable tea.

Oxygen in your lungs diffuses into your red blood cells to reinvigorate you and your work.

A popular local coffee shop diffuses into a global chain.

Diffusion is a natural process but we don’t often use it to our advantage.  We tend to be the area of low concentration.  So we consume.  We are entertained.  We listen and watch.  Mainly we wait and passively enjoy the fruits of a world that blooms around us.

What if that changed?

What if we became a source of wealth and bounty?  What if we were a wellspring of kindness and generosity?  What if our practice yielded dividends in the form of love? 

If we became a source of patience, kindness and generosity, what would happen in our homes and in our workplace?

If our practice gave rise to insight, drew out implications and made connections, do you think we would make an impact in those around us?

It might seem like a long shot, but the ball is in your court. 

Maybe this won’t even work, but even if you fail, what happiness and joy.

The Art of Practice.

What does your day revolve around?

Our days are busy with projects at work and responsibilities at home.  We run into all sorts of problems and roadblocks.  We want to do work that matters, but often we simply don’t have the time.

What intention do your bring to your day?

Is it to be more generous, to give gifts that matter and to make an impact in people’s lives and in your community. 

How do you actually do that?  It’s not easy.  You need to stick to your practice.

Some of us think of our practice as safe, a place we can prepare and get ready.  We think it is a place where mistakes don’t count and going live can always happen another day.  That is not what we are talking about here.

We need a practice that opens us up, one that enables our intention.  We need a practice that gives us the tools and resources to look into the darkness, face our fears and push through the resistance.

That is your practice.  The art of your practice is to share it.

Use your insight and understanding to benefit others, to be kind and compassionate to others.  Use your practice as a platform for doing work that matters, making connections and making an impact.  Use your practice to stand up, roll with resistance and carry problems onto the path.

Set your intention and let your day revolve around your practice.  I can’t wait to see the magic that you create. 

A diamond in the rough.

Your sitting there, unrecognized, wondering if you have any value.  What is your purpose?  What is the meaning of your existence?

The problem with being a diamond in the rough seems to be that you are waiting for others to recognize you.  You are waiting for confirmation and approval.  Those are selfish traits cloaked in fear and apprehension, but those are not the problem.

The problem is that you are a diamond in the rough and not even you recognize your value.  You don't trust in it.  Your not confident about your own nature, so you spend all your time running about trying to get confirmation and approval. 

Once you can truly recognize and abide in your diamond-like nature, you have no choice but to share it with others.

It's your turn.

[Thanks Seth].

What do teachers teach?

Does a good teacher teach you the method, the skills?
Is it all about the information? 
Once you have gathered all the knowledge and can do the practice by rote, are you learned?

The best teachers teach you the path, the journey.  They push you to your limits and then give you the resources and support needed to figure out how to break through them.  They inspire you to look deeper.

They encourage the evidence based doubt of the scientist and the reason based doubt of the debater.  They understand the value of a good question and teach you to be brave enough to ask it.

The truly great ones teach you how to carry the ball yourself.  They show you how to bring your practice and knowledge into a new environment and still be able to connect the dots.  They teach you how to stand up, shoulder the weight, and to do it with patience, kindness and generosity.

You should read Stop Stealing Dreams by Seth Godin, it redefines what school is for and lays out a new approach to teaching and learning. 

The mark of ignorance.

What does ignorance look like?

Is it rigid beliefs or definitions?
Is it incorrect information?
Is it hollow assertions?  Conflated ideas?
Grossly biased perceptions?
Is it the emotionally overwhelmed?
A narrow world view?

The mark of ignorance is selfishness.

It's opposite is compassion, empathy.  It's opposite is to care.

In this way we all suffer from ignorance.  We should strive to recognize it in ourselves and work even harder to bring about its opposite. 

We should strive to care.  

The fact that you are going to work hard is irrelevant.

You are used to this for that, an equal exchange.  A profitable exchange.

Why else do you go to work each day?

Your used to working for you, your family, your loved ones and your dreams.  I get that, it is the world that we live in.  Is that any alternative?

The alternative is to be a father, a mother.

A father is unrelenting, tireless.  He cares not for his feelings.  Take me.  Every time.  Take me.
A mother is always open, accepting, loving.  No fault matters, I love you.  Always.

The alternative is that all of this- this life, this journey, this work-
is bigger than you.

Be a parent, a guardian, a grand father or mother, a friend, a son or a daughter.  Not only in your own family, but for all beings.

Both parties profit.

Then Commit.

Seth Godin asked a profound question today:

"Is this something that will respond to guts, effort and investment?"

This is the question that we should be asking ourselves with regard to our work, our practice and our art.  When you have found your 'Yes' then you know you are headed in the right direction. 

Keep digging. 

Dig Deeper

When you look at the world around you, mainly you will see people trying to get somewhere or achieve something.  Of course there is a good reason for this- the present is irritating, lonely, boring.

Better to paint a better picture.  Write a better story.  Hope for a better day. 

We might feel compelled to bring this habit into our spiritual practice, trying to achieve something that we didn't have before or to bring out qualities that we desire to see in ourselves.  But really, our practice is about digging deeper.

Dig deeper into your thoughts, feelings and emotions. 

Dig deeper into your doubts and fears.

Dig deeper.  Push through the places that scare you.

So often we turn away from places that scare us.  If you manage to sit through the irritation, through the fear and doubt, we might just break through to a place beyond fear, beyond doubt.

When we push through our doubt and our fear we can show our true face to the world around us.  We can actually bring benefit to others in an authentic and meaningful way.  If we are not able to dig deeper and to be open to ourselves, how can we be open for others?

Generosity Day

This is a big week for Generosity.  Generosity Day is being rebooted on February 14th and February 17th is a National Day for Random Acts of Kindness. 

Generosity Day is the work of Sasha Dichter, his intention is to broaden the tradition of Valentine's Day into a celebration of love and generosity. 

Random Acts of Kindness Day is an unofficial holiday to celebrate kindness and generosity. 

There is no better time to go spread your art.  If you need a few ideas, here is a list to use this week or for each week of the year. 

Random Acts of Kindness

If reality is your canvas and generosity is your art, here are 52 random acts that can paint a picture of kindness and compassion.  

1. Bring dinner for a friend in need. 
2. Pick up garbage on the street.
3. Congratulate people on a job well done.
4. Bring healthy snacks to work for your coworkers (or cupcakes).
5. Volunteer
6. Write a prayer or wish on the sidewalk in chalk.
7. Help someone with a flat tire.
8. Give someone your filled punch card.  
9. Leave a heartfelt note.
10. Call your grandparents.
11. Send a handwritten letter.
12. Give a cup of soup to a homeless person.
13. Give someone your seat on the bus.
14. Skip the close parking space in the rain.
15. Hold the door open for someone.
16. Let that stranger in a rush go in front of you in line.
17. Carry dog treats.
18. Give a bouquet of flowers.
19. Perform a burnt sur offering for the recently deceased.
20. Offer to push someone in their wheel chair.
21. Strike up a conversation with the old man on the corner.
22. Look people in the eye, and say 'Good Morning'.
23. Help a neighbor clean up their yard. 
24. Pay for the person behind you in line.
25. Go caroling, any day of the year.
26. Offer your shoulder to cry on.
27. Offer your legs to lift.
28. Offer your back to carry.
29. Let the other person win.
30. Offer prayers of aspiration to bring benefit to others when no one is looking. 
31. Leave a gift card for a stranger. 
32. Light a candle on a dark corner.
33. Leave your favorite book in a public place with a note.
34. Send a friend a photo of the good old days.
35. Make dinner for friends or family. 
36. Do the dishes.
37. Offer your body, speech and mind through the practice of Chod.
38. Be willing to say 'Yes'. 
39. Be open to say 'I can'.
40. Show up early to set up.
41. Stay late to help clean up.
42. Offer to be a free babysitter.
43. Help those who are sick.
44. Offer your umbrella in the rain.
45. Listen.
46. Be present.
47. Plant a tree.
48. Share stories of love and inspiration.
49. 'Like' other people's acts of generosity.
50. Rejoice in the merits of others.
51. Respect everyone.
52. Take a breath and recall these acts before you act with anger. 

What random acts of kindness would you add to the list?
 

Generosity Day

February 14th

Are you ready for Generosity Day?  Big things are about to happen.

As you act generously, and as you witness acts of generosity, please keep folks updated using the #generosityday hashtag or post on www.facebook.com/generosityday

For more information, visit Sasha Dichter's blog.

Generosity as Art

Give gifts that don't have a limit,

Gifts of humanity that affect change

And bring about the welfare of others.

From these gifts infinite qualities arise,

Give freely and openly,

And come to experience boundless inner wealth!