What are you holding onto?

As you go about your day, what do you find yourself getting hung up on?

Is it your form?  Do you find yourself constantly worrying about how you look?  Are you beautiful or ugly, is that blemish too noticeable?  Too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, feeling strong or feeling weak; what are you hung up on?

Are you stuck on your feelings?  Do you find yourself running away from pain, doubt or sadness?  Do you chase after things that make you feel good, or experiences that are thrilling and exciting?  If you don't feel just right, how does it affect your day?

Are you holding onto your own perception?  Do you stick to your version of right and wrong, playing out storylines and arguments in your head?  Is your perspective the best perspective?  Does others perception of you determine how you feel about your status or respect?  What happens when you think you are about to lose control?

Are you caught up in various mental formations?  Are your ideas, stories, and opinions really important?  Do you rigidly hold to your beliefs or philosophy?  Are there memories that come up in your head day and night that you cannot escape?

Maybe you don't hold onto any of those and you are certain of who you are.  I know who I am, and yet who I am?  I experience the world through sight, sound, smell, taste and touch, do I chase after any of those?  Surely. 

We hold onto many things throughout the day, chasing after many more.  All of those constitute our experience and who we are, but we are none of those things.  They are the nuts and bolts, the beams and rafters, yet we are none of those things. 

If we are none of those things and yet they make up all that we are, then what are we?

The white-glove test.

You probably all remember cleaning as a child.  I do.  Do you remember dusting, thinking that everything was clean and tidy, only to have your mother or father come along and point out dust you hadn't noticed?

How about your house now?  I am willing to bet it looks pretty good, but would it stand up to the white-glove test?

Our minds are quite the same way.  We keep our standard routines in place to feel like we have our act together.  We eat healthy, exercise, get enough rest.  We enjoy expressing gratitude and sharing our gifts with the world.  We look and feel pretty good about ourselves.  We are actually really down to earth, good natured people.  

And then you sit down to meditate for ten minutes maintaining the discipline not to move.  The white-glove test.  What is really going on in our heads?

Most likely they are busy and restless.  Thoughts, projects, conversations and memories race across our minds like a proverbial dust storm.  We notice our minds chasing and grasping at all sorts of things- feelings, perceptions, sensations, appearances. 

Intense.

Of course it is up to you to decide what to do with this information.  You could let the dust be and see what happens, pretend its not there and hope no one notices.  You could wait around, hoping that maybe someone else will do the dirty work for you.  You could also get to work and start cleaning your own house. 

Up to you. 

No lasting effect.

When searching for consummate meaning in our lives,
time and time again we go outside ourselves,
always asking ourselves what we should do now-
travel, food, friends, job, volunteer, family, kids-
all these goals once achieved have left us unfulfilled.
Why change now?

We either seek out escape-
spa, vacation, lazy Sunday, the new.

Or we seek out illusion-
food, fun, goals, experiences.

Neither have lasting effect. Both are conditioned.