Feeding concepts.

When was the last time someone told you something that influenced and shaped your experience?

Do you find yourself being aware of this as it plays itself out?

Probably not.

We often think of ourselves as rationale coherent beings, experiencing the world through our lens of truth. We trust in our thoughts and emotions, believe that our perception is unerring, and value our discernment and judgement.

What we don't know is that much of what shapes our experience and perception is concepts that were planted long, long ago. Most of which we didn't even know were being planted.

Take my two year old as an example. My wife said she didn't like chicken pot pie. My daughter parroted her taste preferences, yet she has never had chicken pot pie. We have yet to find out how long this biased perception lasts.

Chicken pot pie isn't much of a big deal. It doesn't really matter if you like mustard or not, or if you prefer skim over whole milk.

But what about your concepts about race, sexual orientation and religion? What about your views about money, politics and human rights?

Most of what we call our ideas, opinions and preferences have been fed to us. Most often, we don't dissect and analyze those preferences too much, we think we came to them through our own merits.

Part of waking up means no longer trusting your own biased perception. You need to recognize that your perception is biased, that is a starting point. Your view isn't to be held onto. Your position isn't to be fortified. All of that is confusion.  We are confused.

Once you know that we are confused, then you can start the process of right view, right intention, right discernment. First, you need to be honest with yourself. Then you can start to be honest with others, and things get better.  

A different kind of doubt.

There is plenty of doubt in our lives. We doubt the media, strangers, untested products. We are skeptical of people selling us things on the street, overly generous offers, promises too good to be true.

Doubt and healthy skepticism project us from trouble.

We also have a lot of self doubt. We doubt our ability, our knowledge and experience. We are skeptical that we will be able to perform at the highest level, that others will appreciate what we have to contribute, or that our work will make an impact.

Doubt at this level starts to take on an emotional dimension. We start feeling anxious or fearful. We feel our heart race, maybe become depressed or upset. Doubt becomes a snowball that continues to grow and feed upon itself as it races downhill.

We create all of these experiences.

Our perception and concepts of the world and our environment engender doubt as a protective mechanism. Our perception of our ability, or our perceived notions of what others think or expect, all of those are based largely on concepts and stories we tell ourselves. Even our feelings of anxiousness and fear are created from these stories and perceptions.

What we haven't doubted, even for an instant, is the concept or the perception itself. That little devil gets off time and time again, and yet it is the one that torments us the most. 

Take a moment to look deeply into your own concepts and perceptions. Take a look from another angle, try something new. Break free from the cage of reifying conceptions. 

This kind of doubt will be truly beneficial and protect you from a bunch of self-made trouble. 

I must have missed it.

Have you ever been too busy to catch a detail?

To agitated to see the connection?

To caught up in the routine to notice something that has always been there?

Have you ever been stuck on something and then realized the answer was in plain sight?

To understand and realize our buddhanature and the nature of our own mind we don't need something new.  Our buddhanature is fully evident. 

We just don't see it.

We get caught up in thoughts, emotions and habits.  We get stuck on identity, appearances and our situation.  It is not that we are far away from the result we are seeking.  It is more that we cannot recognize that which is right before us.

It is kind of like not being able to see you own eyelashes.  They are right there.

We have a tendency to complicate the path.  Really it is quite simple-

Tame your mind. 

Questioning ourselves.

We often question ourselves, our worth and our value.

Are we good enough?  Are we worth it?  Can we really do this? 

Questioning our value is pretty common.   Why don't we ever question our fear and uncertainty?

Is it worth it to be angry?  Is it worth it to be jealous of others achievements? 

What do we get out of this worry and anxiousness?

What do we get out of feeling bad for ourselves?

We over invest in our thoughts and feelings, which are like clouds drifting through the sky.
We under invest in our potential, which is like the spacious sky.

Bound.

No one likes to have their freedom taken away.  No one likes to have limits placed on them, on their ability, on their choices.  No one likes to be bound and confined to a limited space.

Yet, we do it to ourselves all the time.

We are bound by concepts.  We get ourselves tied up in thoughts.  We become restrained by our own narrative.  We become a captive stuck in solitary confinement, our own confinement and we are the tormentor.  It is a strange phenomenon indeed that we become a victim to ourselves.

But how does this happen?

Grasping and fixation.  We fixate on thoughts as real.  We grasp to ourselves as real.  When both ourselves and thoughts are perceived as concrete things, we easily slip into bondage.

Of course, right now it is pretty easy to dismiss the idea that we fixate on thoughts as real.  Of course thoughts aren't real, they come and go and not a one of them has ever lasted.  Reason and logic can easily refute this proposition of them being real and only a fool would think otherwise.  Yet, time and time again we fool ourselves, because when bad things happen and when we don't control the situation, everything seems real.

Then our thoughts become demons.  Real demons.  Demons with fangs and colors and imminence.

Reason and logic serve us no benefit when we are bound in confinement with our own demons.  Reason and logic might even serve to reinforce our demons due to our own grasping and fixation.  So we don't move.  We sit there helpless and scared, waiting for the darkness to pass.

What choice do we have?

Meditation opens you up to the experience of thoughts as illusory, like clouds that come and go through the spacious sky.  This definitely helps loosen the chains, but it doesn't undermine grasping and fixation completely.

Introduction to the nature of mind opens us up to the experience of the true nature of mind and the nature of phenomena.  This undermines fixation and grasping at the root, but carrying this understanding from the cushion into the real world takes perseverance and dedication.

Introduction to rigpa zangthal, transparent awareness, opens us up to the groundless nature of mind in which thoughts have no legs to stand on.  Even as thoughts and demons arise, what can they do?

Unbound.  Not afraid to dance with demons.  The highest yoga, Dzogchen. 

Meditation is beyond mind.

Mind is like the clouds in the sky.
Clouds of thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Clouds of anger, frustration and sadness.
Clouds of ideas, opinions and affirmations.
Clouds of highs and lows, happiness and suffering.
All of that comes and goes, continuously.

Meditation is beyond mind.

It is not the clouds or the weather, it is like the spacious sky, unchanging and all-encompassing.  When your meditation is like the spacious sky, everything else is an ornament of your practice.

I had a bad day.

But it was a good day for practice.

A good day to practice patience.
A good day to relax my fixation and attachment for what I wanted.
A good day to fight my own resistance and stubbornness.
A good day to not get swept away by negative thoughts and emotions.
A good day to train my mind.

Looking back at it, I actually had a pretty good day.

The white-glove test.

You probably all remember cleaning as a child.  I do.  Do you remember dusting, thinking that everything was clean and tidy, only to have your mother or father come along and point out dust you hadn't noticed?

How about your house now?  I am willing to bet it looks pretty good, but would it stand up to the white-glove test?

Our minds are quite the same way.  We keep our standard routines in place to feel like we have our act together.  We eat healthy, exercise, get enough rest.  We enjoy expressing gratitude and sharing our gifts with the world.  We look and feel pretty good about ourselves.  We are actually really down to earth, good natured people.  

And then you sit down to meditate for ten minutes maintaining the discipline not to move.  The white-glove test.  What is really going on in our heads?

Most likely they are busy and restless.  Thoughts, projects, conversations and memories race across our minds like a proverbial dust storm.  We notice our minds chasing and grasping at all sorts of things- feelings, perceptions, sensations, appearances. 

Intense.

Of course it is up to you to decide what to do with this information.  You could let the dust be and see what happens, pretend its not there and hope no one notices.  You could wait around, hoping that maybe someone else will do the dirty work for you.  You could also get to work and start cleaning your own house. 

Up to you. 

Pre-Occupation.

What occupies your mind?  What chews up a lot of time in your head?

Does it need to be there?

Most of us complain about long, busy days at work, but even when we are not working our minds are often preoccupied.  Learning how to loosen the tight shackles that our mental busyness creates is a useful tool to have. 

Give your mind a day off. 

Amogasiddhi.

OM AH HUNG AMOGASIDDHI AH

Amogasiddhi is one of the Five Family Buddhas.  

His pure land is Karmaprasiddhi, representing the accomplishment of perfect activity.  His color is green, representing the activity of subjugating and overcoming resistance, obstacles and problems.   His element is wind, representing movement and change, along with the continual energetic process occurring in the outer world and in our own body and mind.  His right hand is in the mudra of fearlessness, representing an authentic refuge that protects from the fears of cyclic existence.  His left hand rests in his lap in meditative equipoise holding a crossed vajra, representing an immovable foundation and support.  The crossed vajra also represents the vajra seat, the immovable posture in which the Buddha gained enlightenment.  The vajra seat, or vajrasana, in the outer world is Bodhgaya, but it also represents the unshakeable ground in which all beings awaken to buddhahood. 

Amogasiddhi is the Buddha that represents completely purified jealousy.  Jealousy or envy manifests as paranoia, an internal dialogue that plays itself out again and again with fear of failure or not being chosen at its very root.  In order to combat this internal struggle, we often assume very negative postures- we become power hungry, manipulating and controlling people around us to uphold and maintain our status.  We dominate the conversation so no one else has an opportunity to outshine us.  Amogasiddhi represents the transformation of that jealousy and insecurity into all-accomplishing wisdom, the wisdom of spontaneous fulfillment. 

Amogasiddhi rides a garuda possessed with all the major and minor marks.  A garuda is a great eagle-like bird, a mythological horned golden eagle.  The garuda is a powerful guardian, offering servitude and often shown biting down on nagas.  Nagas are serpent-like human deities that live in bodies of water.  They are said to be the holders of great treasures and secret teachings, but if upset cause disease and create unpredictable weather patterns.  The garuda also has an unusual birth, for as soon as it hatches from its shell it is able to soar in the sky.  The shell represents the limitations of our own five skandhas and upon breaking free from their confines, great spontaneous awareness is able to soar in the sky of awakened mind. 

In regard to our own mind and self, Amogasiddhi represents the skandha of mental formations, ideas, concepts and opinions along with the habitual patterns associated with these.  Throughout the day we enter into numerous mental states, high and low.  We are continuously trying to 'make sense' of our world and justify who we are and our place in the world.  This process of thought and intention creates action and karma.  As we cycle through this process of cause and effect, we are constantly fighting to guard ourselves from loss and vulnerability.  We fight day and night to control our fate in hopes of accomplishing our aims and finding happiness and prosperity. 

When we deeply contemplate and integrate the wisdom and symbolism of Amogasiddhi, we can learn to transmute this insecurity and paranoia into the wisdom of spontaneous fulfillment.  We take our vajra seat amidst the unceasing windstorm of thoughts and mental states with the firm resolve not to waver from this immovable ground which is the way of abiding.  Breaking out from the confines of the shell of ignorance and mistaken views, great spontaneous awareness takes its second birth and flies unobstructedly, riding the winds of change.  This awareness is practical and effective, efficient, timely and in sync with the world around it.  It does not manipulate or control, demand or distort.  No longer needing to justify your own position or qualifications, you discover a natural ease and fulfillment, a profound sense of inner wealth and satisfaction.  Having fulfilled your own aims, you are able to work for the aims of others, sheltering them from fear and vulnerability. 

Others see you in a dynamic dance, awed by your fearlessness.  Yet you never waver from your unshakeable ground, the unchanging vajra seat that supports the whole universe.  In this way you abide in Karmaprasiddhi, the accomplishment of perfect activity. 

Blank Slate

Clear you space, your table or desk.
Sit down with a blank piece of paper in front of you and a pen.
Don't do anything else, just sit with that piece of paper.
Sit in the moment with presence, with openness.

After awhile you'll find that the paper starts to fill itself up.
To-dos, ideas, poems, notations, sketches, reminders.

The to-dos come with schedules and deadlines, the poems are tweaked, the notations are expanded upon and clarified, the sketches are refined, the reminders have names and times and the ideas snowball into projects.  All of that comes with their attendants of work and effort, a calendar of events and short and long-term goals.

The list goes on. Your page is full.

So much of the Buddha's teachings focus on the way we exist, on what is the true 'self'.  The Buddha taught that we do not have a truly existing, independent self.  Much can be said about this, but it really comes down to the fact that we do not exist the way we think we do.

We associate ourselves with what we do, how we appear, with our thoughts and ideas.
We associate ourselves with our culture, our credentials, what we like and dislike, with our name.

But that is not our true nature.  That is all writing on the paper.

It is not that we don't exist at all, that we are nothing and nothing matters- that's nihilism.

Our true nature is like the blank piece of paper.  The blank paper is pure potential.  Not being any thing at all, it can appear in any way whatsoever.  It is all-accommodating, completely open and unobstructed, and its nature is to arise in various forms.  Actually, the arising is unceasing, but therein lies the problem.

In the manner of arising we cling to the forms that it takes.  We associate with the content.  We fixate on the to-dos, the ideas and sketches; on what we do, what we think and how we feel.  Then we need to maintain and elaborate those until we are all filled up and there is no more room to doodle.

And it sucks.  We are too busy, overworked, have few moments of opportunity and too many responsibilities and demands to take the time to rest.  Unless resting is passing out in mindlessness.

That is why you meditate.  That is why you need a daily practice.

Meditation is a space to sit and abide in our potentiality, our true nature.  We can wipe the slate clean, rest in its nakedness.  Rest in openness.

And yet there is still arising.

Stuff continues to come up, to appear on our page.  But we don't need to fixate on that, it simply arises, does its thing, and exhausts itself back into our pure potential.  Our whole life is like that, it arises in various forms, does its thing and then exhausts itself and takes a new form.  The problem is that we are usually so bound up to the forms that we hate to see them go, and when they do exhaust themselves and depart we often don't recognize or abide in our pure potential but rather end up just feeling exhausted ourselves.  That is why we need to recognize our true nature.    

Not being anything at all, appearing as anything whatsoever.

ps. the Buddha described this pure potential as our buddhanature.  We all have it, it is fully manifest, right there.  We just need to recognize and abide in it to let it blossom.  Cheers!

The Bug of Perceptions.

Your perceptions affect your reality and your experience of the world.

Go to a homeless shelter infected with bed bugs, or to a school with an outbreak of lice.

Just being there, I bet you start to feel itchy.  You might even be feeling itchy just thinking about the possibility of getting bed bugs or lice. 

What you think and what you perceive to be true (even though it probably isn't) affects how you feel and how you interact with the world around you.  It affects your every action. 

What happens when you think you are more important than others around you? 
What happens when you are angry?  When you are worried?  Stressed?
Need we even mention those who are racist, bigoted or ignorant? 

If you feel itchy because you perceive the possibility of beg bugs near you,
or if you feel that the world is always fighting you because you perceive your situation to be right,
the only way to fix the problem is to correct your perception.

You need to train your mind.