Finding the right pair of jeans.

If you need a pair of jeans, it is customary and often expected that you go to a number of different stores and try on a bunch of pairs.  You feel them out, see how they fit, if they look good on you.  You might try different styles, different colors, different textures.  Some look really nice and clean, others are more worn and rough around the edges.

There are so many options and you keep looking until you find the right one. 

Sometimes, often when you least expect it, you see a pair of jeans and you know you need them.  Those are your jeans.  You don't even really need to try them on, you know before you try them on that they were meant for you.

It is often the same with friends.  Over time, you can become acquainted and build a strong friendship with just about anyone.  But some people, for no apparent reason, you instantly have a connection.  It is like you already know each other, you don't need a lot of explaining or justification.

It is kind of like that.  

Dancing Partners

It's tempting when you go dancing to only dance to the songs you like and the people who dance like you.  It feels safer to dance with those who have the same tempo and those who make you look good.

The problem with this sort of dancing is that you spend most of your time waiting.  Waiting for the right song to play, waiting for your partner to be free, waiting for the right time to start.  You want to dance, but you never actually get around to dancing.

Start dancing with those who are bad dancers.  Be patient.  Slow down your tempo and adjust your posture.  Cut them some slack and give them time to catch up.  Listen to what they need and guide them with tiny steps and repetition.  You actually learn a lot about your own dancing when you teach others to dance.

Start dancing when it is not your song.  Explore a new tempo, a new style.  Feel the music and the beat, listen closely and let it guide you.  Trust your instincts, your intuition.  Dance on the edge of unknowing and fear.  Dance on the edge of 'you might look stupid'.  Watch what others are doing, adapt and adjust.  Make it your own.  You're still dancing.

Start dancers with others who are so much better than you.  Be awed by their grace and poise.  Mimic their moves.  Embody their grooves.  You might not have that much style and definitely don't have their grace, but let them lift you.  Be inspired.  Want to leap higher and with some extra pizzazz.  Now you know it is possible, keep dancing.

When every song and every partner presents themselves as an opportunity to dance, your practice has reached its consummation.  Now you are practicing the art of dance, so just keep on dancing.

Then you just need to learn how to bring those skills off the dance floor.  Dance in the streets, dance at work.  Dance with anger, dance with love.