Dharma Conversations Podcast

 

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Dharma Conversations is produced by the Younge Drodul Ling Sangha and aims to connect new and experienced practitioners for mutual inspiration, growth and support. Dharma conversations are some of the greatest gifts that we can offer to ourselves and others, drawing out questions that are often unanswered and unexplored. They create wellsprings of reflection and insight in our own life and practice. The conversations that we have shape how we understand ourselves, how we interpret the world, and how we treat each other. They honor the difficulty that we all face and the complexity of what it means to carry the practice into our everyday life. By listening, asking questions and sharing our own experience and struggles, we can open a doorway to meaningful friendship and a supportive community.

Join us for Dharma Conversations, where we pursue wisdom and compassion to awaken inner life, outer life, and life together.

Subscribe and listen to Dharma Conversations now with Apple Podcasts or on whatever podcast player you use.  

Here's one of our recent conversations:

Carry on.

Opportunity is formless, without center or limit. It is often hard to appreciate much less recognize the opportunity available to you right now.

So how do you take advantage of the opportunity available to you?

Let's start to narrow the focus. Who is the 'you' that we are referring to?

Is it your profession? That's surely a part of you, but not the whole you. Is it your hobbies or passions or side hustles? They are also a part of you, but not the whole you. All those parts come together to make up your identity as an individual.

You as an individual are also part of a family. You might be a father, mother, sister, or partner. Part of who you are in the world is shaped by that role you play. All the little parts of you as an individual support and influence and shape how you appear and function in your family.

Your family is part of a community. The community in which you live, the intentional communities in which you participate. Each part of you as an individual and the dynamics of your family support and influence and shape your community. How you act in your community influences the world around you.

Communities are part of the larger collective, the cities and states in which we live. Intentional communities are formed around ideas and shared interests that influence and shape the culture and the world in which we live. Intentional communities have much more power and efficiency to carry and spread ideas, resources and values than the individuals that make up those communities. Those intentional communities become a nest for both ideas and individuals. The individual, like the idea, can take birth there, be nurtured, supported, grow and develop. Eventually, the individual and the idea reach maturity and are continued to be carried by the community. It is the community that carries the individual and the idea.

Know that there is great purpose in carrying something. Recognize that your power to carry it is limited but that contributing your efforts to the community relieves you of the burden. Then carrying something brings connection and joy.

Then you can stop worrying about opportunity, especially lost opportunity. Turn your attention instead to responsibility and the roles you play in carrying that forward.

Answering the call.

There is something inside of each of us that is calling for us to be more deeply present in the world, to participate and contribute to the world in some way. Answering that call opens the doorway to the path.

When we feel called to step beyond our narrow conception of self and our abilities, we usually experience vulnerability, hesitation and fear. We feel called to step out into the open, but when the time comes to do so we hold back, we wait, we turn back.

That is why we need a practice, a teacher and mentor, a supportive community. We need stories and examples of those who have traveled this path. We need support and feedback and guidance from those who are currently traveling.

On this journey, we often feel alone and isolated. But there are those who walk with us, among us. There are those waiting for us just ahead and around the corner.

By showing up and listening to our own calling, we show up for others and continue to inspire them in their own path. Answering the call fulfills our own aims and brings about the aims of others.

Being present is greater than being wise.

A genuine mentor knows that being authentically present is more important than appearing to be wise or all knowing. A mentor truly understands, listens, and pays witness to her student and their challenges.

The mentor is naturally incline to teach, but they are equally inclined to wait, guide and nurture. The greatest gift a mentor can give is to uncover and reveal the naturally present genius within. Helping the student to recognize and awaken that presence fulfills an ancient exchange between mentor and student to reclaim the nobility of what it means to be human.

Mentoring bridges a gap between the elders and those newly set out on the path. It is a timeless conversation that involves learning how to be present in the world and discovering how our communities are meant to grow and flourish. These relationships become the glue that hold communities together, the ground for their renewal, and the foundation for finding meaning and purpose for young and experienced alike.

Shared values.

It is difficult and challenging to navigate our world today. Our country is divided, our communities are plagued by inequality and addiction, and even in our own families we may find it difficult to find common ground.

Where do we start to rebuild trust and respect?

We all share core values, values like honesty, integrity, generosity and compassion. As a culture, we value hard work, persistence, and dedication to a cause. Our religious traditions ask us to love our neighbor, help those less fortunate and be of service to others.

These are all points of contact that we share. While we may disagree on many issues, we can agree that values in our life and in our world are important. Start the conversation around shared values, and then listen to each other. Conversations may reveal how much we have in common, and maybe even break down the great divide that seems to keep us apart.

Imagine if we could even take this small step within our own family. If we could each unite the great divide within our family, maybe our communities could start to shift and change as well.

Talk to family and friends. What values do you share and why are they important to you?

Spiritual connections are important.

Spiritual connection and engagement is the product of love, belonging, and vulnerability. 

Brene Brown

When we enter into authentic spiritual communities we should feel awkward. Awkward, because we can lower our guard, get rid of the facade, drop the pretense. Awkward, because we can come as we are. Awkward, because we can be vulnerable and honest. 

Your brothers and sisters around you support you in your practice and in your pursuit of happiness. They understand your challenges and failures. They respect your effort and your persistence. 

We all need this kind of connection in our life. Connection with those who travel the path and live a life devoted to practice. Seeking out and building these connections enriches our own practice and it enriches our world. 

Culture of awakening.

I grew up in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The culture of Green Bay revolves around the Packers. The front page of the Green Bay Press Gazette (which I diligently delivered as a teenager) always talks about the Packers. The community wears Packers gear, talks about the Packers, and responds to how the Packers are doing.

If you don't value the Packer culture, you also don't quite fit in. That doesn't make you bad. The community doesn't reject you, but at some point or another you just move along.

Culture has values. It shapes beliefs and actions. Culture can shift our posture, the way we sit and the way we greet each other. Without having to be spoken, culture says, "This is what we do around here."

Stephen Batchelor coined the phrase culture of awakening. I haven't read any of Stephen's work, but this notion that we do impacts and shapes others is powerful.

The Buddha taught that our intentions and actions shape the world. Our individual thoughts and actions impact our life. When we form communities with others who share our values, we create a culture. Others interact with that culture. They see what people value, how they interact, and what they do.

The culture becomes a contact point for change.

The change that a culture brings isn't always about making a quick impact. It is often more like a resonance or a vibration, something that can be felt minutely at first, but later can shape entire landscapes and tear down walls. 

A culture of awakening isn't about forcing you awake. It is like whispering in your ear, "It's time to get up."

Who is we?

The great practitioner of virtue dedicates their practice to the benefit of others, but who are the others?

Who is we?

Is it your family, your tribe, your community?
Is it your supporters and sponsors?
Is the circle of we really the circle of you?

We is everyone. All beings, everywhere. Those with you and those against you. Those you agree with and those you don't.

That is the basis of dedication.

You don't need to agree with everyone or align with their position. You don't need to condone wrong views or tolerate injustice.

You should wish all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness, that they be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. All beings, everyone.

That is the basis. That is the common ground. That is a starting point for change.

Islands unto themselves.

At the time of the Buddha, his disciples wandered alone most of the year. They carried out their practice, upheld their discipline and were largely islands unto themselves.

During the monsoon season, they would convene for a few months. They would receive teachings, ask questions, discuss with fellow Sangha their own practice and understanding. When the rains stopped they would depart, going their own way. 

There is a strong parallel with this type of lifestyle and our own modern society. Most of us are pretty busy with work, family and projects. Within the context of our own life, we strive to maintain our practice, uphold our discipline and act as islands unto ourselves. The challenge is often how we orient ourselves to our circumstances and carry the teachings into our life. 

The monastic discipline is designed around simplicity and cutting through confusion. Most of our daily life is conditioned around complexity and feeding our ego. We need to spend some time reflecting on our own discipline and figure out how we continue to fall into certain neurotic loops and defeating cycles. Their isn't a manual, but there are teachings.

Carrying out your practice with diligence, you then convene yearly with fellow practitioners. You receive teachings and instruction, ask questions, discuss your practice and where you are getting stuck. 

This is the way the tradition began, and the way in which it can continue to flourish. 

Nourish and support.

In June 2008, my soon to be wife and I were meditating at Boudhanath early one morning.

It was a beautiful morning.  Sunny, clear skies.  A gentle breeze blowing the prayer flags that were strung up to the peak of the stupa.  There was the steady sound of women doing their daily prostrations.  The familiar chanting of OM MANI PADME HUNG resonated throughout the square.  Incense floated on the breeze.   

It was 6am and the stupa was alive. 

As we were meditating, two elderly Tibetan women came up to us and offered us some unleavened bread and a spoonful of stewed potatoes, all the while reciting their mani mantras. 

It didn't matter if we could have paid something.
It didn't matter if we didn't need the food.
It didn't matter if we weren't even hungry.
It didn't matter what our status, our situation, who we were or if we were doing it right.

They simply offered sustenance to those committed to practice. 

What would our communities look like if we were committed to supporting and nourishing those committed to practice?

What if we dropped all the expectation, all the judgement, all concern for reward, recognition or repayment? 

There is seldom anything as impactful as a genuine human interaction. 

King-complex.

Our culture promotes a certain complex.  It is very simple:

If you are doing something well, you will be rich and famous.

Is that true?

Well, if you are doing great work, people should be following you.  People should be buying your thing, or promoting your service.  People should be talking about you.

You should be remarkable.

With a following and unique tribe comes the ability to capitalize on your work.  You should scale, increase your presence in the market and distinguish yourself from the competition.

Wealth and fame.  It's going to be glorious!

A modern day king living a lonely life of excess and neurosis, just like the good ole days.

Is there an alternative?

If you do something well, you will have a rich and thriving community.
If you do something well, you will impact people's lives.
If you do something well, you will be content and satisfied.

We can actually act on those.  We should start to value them more than likes, followers or money.   

Support.

What supports your practice?

Your teacher.  Teachings to contemplate.  Your daily activities.  The community around you.

What challenges your practice?

Your teacher.  Teachings to contemplate.  Your daily activities.  The community around you. 

What's missing?

Violence, anger and inflammation.

I invite you to join me in a discussion.  

I think we need to talk about violence, anger and inflammation.  Not so much as it applies to politics and warfare, but as it applies to ourselves and our situation.  Where does it come from, and why is it so prevalent?

How do we respond when things get rough?
How do we approach disrespect in our relationships, workplace and community?
Is anger useful?  When and how?
What is the point of inflammation and does it actually achieve that purpose?
What is the root cause of anger?  Is it the same cause for violence?
How do we actually practice non-violence and commit to doing no harm in our own life?  How do we work with our own anger and reduce our inflammatory response to stressful situations?

I don't know where this meditation will lead us, but I hope you will join me in digging deeper.

Share your thoughts.  Share a story.  Share your insight.  Share it on your blog.  Share it via email.  Invite others. 

#DoNoHarm

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sangha.

དགེ་འདུན་
Tibetan: Gedun
English: Sangha or community

The Tibetan dge means virtue, good, wholesome, merit.
'dun means aspiration, longing, intention.

The Sangha is a community that aspires to virtue.  The sangha is a community of men and women that purposefully connect out of a shared interest in supporting each other's practice.  They connect out of support, not power.  Connect with respect, not control.  Connect with kindness, not deceit.

The Sangha supports the transmission of teachings and keeps the practice lineage alive.  It is a culture of learning and teaching.  It brings together a range of experience and insight, fosters examination and critical thinking, opens perspectives and eliminates bias.  The Sangha gives you feedback exactly when you need it.

The Sangha is a culture of compassion and and kindness.  They show us what to care about.  They show us what is possible, even when it doesn't seem to be.  They show us what people like us do. 

Part of our family.

There are those who care and those who don't.

Don't worry about those who don't care, treat them with respect and kindness and let them go there way.  Respect your own time and energy.

Those who care are like your own family.  They show up, do the work.  They push through resistance because what other choice do we have?  Pour your energy and time into strengthening the network, on impacting their lives and offering your support.  Benefit others, contribute value and the whole community benefits.  

We all want to be part of a family that cares, that takes a chance on being generous and kind.  Such a family experiences true wealth, or ratna, and they are crazy enough to want to share it with others.   

Readily available.

So often we have big plans. 

In order to make an impact and matter we seek out large scale projects and initiatives.  We need non-profits and funding and community outreach and social platforms for that change to grow. 

What if we simply planned on being more available?

What if our project was to be available when others needed a hand,
if they needed advice,
or a shoulder to lean on.

What if you were always ready, always available when others needed you?  What if everyone shared this same willingness and preparedness?

What would suffering, problems, mental illness and inequality look like if we lived in a community of openness and acceptance?

You might be the one we are looking for.