Only so much room.

We all have our commitments that we have to honor and respect. 

We have jobs, families, friends.  We have to keep appointments and stay on top of our responsibilities.  We have bills and errands, workouts and walks in the park, babysitter's schedules and client timelines.  Of course we have email, Facebook, news and books.  And our practice (doesn't that come first;).    

We only have so much room in our day.  Only so much time we can actually give.

A part of my practice of compassion is the intention to be open and available at all times.  To be present, to give someone that space when they need it.

I fail all the time.  I'm failing now.

And that's the choice that we make over and over again.  Do we actually be present, open and available; or do we play out our own agenda, our own thoughts, our own story and interests.

We only have so much room, but we also decide where its walls are and who we let in. 

How do we knock down the walls?

The warrior's life.

It is one thing to study war

and another to live the warrior's life.

-Telamon of Arcadia

Truer words have never been spoken.  Try out your own:

It is one thing to study art, and another to live the artist's life.  

It is one thing to study mindfulness, and another to live a mindful life.

It is one thing to study compassion, and another to live a compassionate life.

Today, everyone has all the information they need.  We are all comfortable in our concepts and the data at hand.  Everyday I see a new study professing the benefits of mindfulness or meditation.  We feel safe in what we know and act as an expert in that sphere.

But we are living in a bubble.  

The lived experience is raw, naked and exposed.  The lived experience is one of working intimately with failure, fear, doubt and uncertainty.  Those who actually go out to battle know that those concepts have tastes and textures.  

The warrior has scars that give them conviction.  Conviction that this battle is worth fighting.  

The warrior knows that giving into the resistance means certain loss.  

The artist knows that giving into the resistance means art not done.

The mindful practitioner knows that giving into the resistance means a wandering mind.

The compassionate soul knows that giving into resistance means turning away.   

If you haven't bridged the gap between study and the lived experience all you have to do is identify the resistance.  When you encounter it in your life, stay with it, work with it.  That is the practice- this is the path forward.

Welcome to the real world. 

 

  

Not this time?

How many lifetimes have passed, how many moments where the time just wasn't quite right?

How long have you said to yourself, "This isn't the right situation, the conditions aren't right."

How many extensions have you been granted, how many pardons have you received to try again later? 

At some point you realize, this is all we have.  This might be as good as it gets.

It may not be perfect timing, the conditions might not quite add up.  This might not work.

But your time has a limit.  Use it. 

Turning pessimism into practice.

We all have moments of doubts and uncertainty.  It is easy to be pessimistic today with the decline in community and social values, rampant political and religious misconduct, along with our materialistic culture that emphasizes name, fame and fortune.  We could use pessimism to further isolate ourselves, to protect ourselves from vulnerability and to build up higher and higher walls of insulation.

Or we could bring our pessimism into our practice.

"I can't do this."  Why not?  Let's look deeper.  Is it because you might fail or because you literally don't have the skills to do this?  Is it possible but simply requires too much work that you cannot take up right now?  What is it that you are getting stuck on?

"This isn't going to work."  Maybe that is true.  Maybe you are doing something that has never been done before and this might not work.  That would be okay.  Actually, that would be great.  You would be pushing the envelope, testing your limits.  If it has already worked for someone else, but you don't think it is going to work for you, why? 

"I need a break." Okay, rest.  But are you resting so you can stop, so you can turn around and go home?  Are you resting because you are physically tired or is your mind picking limits for you? 

Pessimism really gives us a chance to examine ourselves, to examine our limits and our fear.  It can provide us with insight and understanding, while still entertaining doubt and uncertainty. 

It is okay to have doubt and uncertainty, but use it for examination.  Use it for insight on your path.

This might not work.

I thought it was going to, I really did. 
I thought this was finally the answer I have been looking for.
I thought it was going to be the next big thing.
I wanted it to work out.
I wanted it to be important, to make a difference.
This was going to change everything.
All the facts lined up, the data was there.  It was rationale, coherent.
It just made sense.

Was it the idea that was flawed? Our expectations? Our effort?
When we failed, was the game really over or was it just getting started?

Fear usually has a pretty good story to tell.  So does doubt.

Stick to the practice.

Embodied.

I see a lot of weary and disheartened people.
I see a lot of disembodied people.

More than anything, I think people are looking for a sense of authentic presence in their lives.  They want to feel genuine, to feel that their life is full of meaning and purpose.

They want to be embodied.

But to be embodied, you need to know where you stand.  To trust your ground.

You need to know your values, to have integrity in what you do and dignity in who you are.

You need to have confidence, be brave enough to push past your fear and face your uncertainty.

You need to see through your faults and failures, drawing out the lessons and carrying on the wisdom.

You need to be willing to be vulnerable, to care without being callous and to give without expectation.

To be embodied is to embrace the qualities in you, to see the illusory nature of everything you are, were or will be, but to see that potentiality despite the illusions.

Its all right there, embrace it.