Trust your self.

Trust your self. Your hidden self, the self that knows how you can show up in the world. 

How we show up in the world is not one self, for each of us plays many roles in this single lifetime. How you show up for your child is different than how you show up for your partner or friend. How you show up at work changes depending on if you are interacting with your coworker, your client, or your boss. 

We would like to think that we can be the same person for all of these roles, that we can bring our authentic self to each of these interactions. But we can't. Each person is asking and expecting something different from us. 

So which of these is your true, authentic self? Which is these is the self that we should trust?

The simple answer is none of these, and all of these.

Chogyam Trungpa says: 

The bad news is you're falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. 
The good news is, there's no ground.

We are constantly searching for an identity to hold onto to prevent that feeling of falling (and failing). We are searching for a form that suits us and the image in our heads of who we can be. There is comfort and reassurance in knowing we have a ground to stand on and a position to stand by. 

But there is no ground. Those titles that we have and those roles that we play are not truly who we are or what we do, because we are not one-thing. 

And yet, in the process of discovering who we are, we generously meet people where they are at, helping them in some way. In Seth Godin's new book The Practice, he says:

Generosity is the most direct way to find the practice.

That's the good news. In the process (practice) of discovering who we are and our place in the world, we can get comfortable with the fact that there is no ground, and no fatal crash at the end that is going to be the end of us. When you no longer need to worry about hitting the ground, falling starts to look like flying, and you can direct your attention to starting to learn how to navigate that new space. 

Learning how to navigate life with openness, responsiveness and availability is itself a worthwhile practice, regardless of the results of your endeavor. As Seth says: 

Do you trust yourself enough to commit to engaging with a [practice] regardless of the chances of success?

Different emanations.

Most people probably haven't heard of the tulku system in Tibet. A tulku is a recognized reincarnate lama or teacher, the Dalai Lama being the most famous and prominent of this generation. Often times at a very young age, children are recognized as being an emanation of a previous teacher. There are various ways that this recognition occurs, some legitimate, others not. Overall, the tulku tradition is broken and much can be said about just how broken it is. 

But that is not really my concern, nor is it beneficial for our practice.

What is beneficial to our practice and our life is one particularly unique aspect of the tulku tradition. A single teacher can have five different emanations in their next life. They may take a single rebirth, but they could emanate in up to five ways. Those five emanations are called: body, speech, mind, activity and qualities.

Not many tulkus have done five. Actually, I can only think of Jamyang Khyentse Wangpo as an example of all five. 

How is this important for us? Why is it meaningful?

How many different emanations do you embody in this life?

Surely you take certain forms in order to carry out certain activities, but also take on different roles to meet different circumstances. You might take a certain stance at your work, and in your personal life prefer another posture.

The important point is that we are full of contradictions and tension and apparent inconsistencies.  We don't need to embody a singular self, such a self isn't even truly real.  We can take many forms in our life, each carrying out benefit in their own way and on their own time. 

Regardless of the form you are taking, carry it onto the path. Let the path clarify confusion and give rise to wisdom. Dedicate the merit.

Perhaps most importantly, don't get stuck on the notion of you being just one thing. That is not who you are, it is a side of you and maybe a prominent part, but there is much more below the surface.

What are we fighting for?

The guy in front of you cuts you off, you flick him off and ride his tail.  What are you fighting for?

Your day hasn't gone to plan, your late for your appointment and that one guy was rude.  Who are you fighting?

You've lost control of the situation and have nothing left to do but be angry.  Why?

When people disrespect you, treat you like a fool, take advantage of you, is your anger justified?

In all of these situations, what is your role?  You are one of the main actors in each of these situations, so how are you to act?  Surely we would not be surprised if you retaliated, put up a good fight and vented your anger.

It might be worth looking, really deeply, what exactly it is that we are fighting for.  If you fight for this thing, whatever it is, how does that play out if you continue to put up a fight?  Where does the fight end?  What does our family look like if everyone fights for this thing?  What about our community and our schools?

What are you fighting for?

#DoNoHarm

An assignment: Emanations.

How many roles do you play in your life?

Father, mother, sister, brother, spouse.
Student, teacher, mentor, apprentice.
Leader, counselor, manager, employee.
Friend, enemy, stranger.
You in an empty house, you in a room of strangers, you at a party with friends.

Which one is you?

Could you be each aspect of you with generosity, love and kindness?
Could each aspect of you be patient, insightful and understanding?
Which aspect of you cannot be helpful?
Which aspect of you can allow forgiveness?
Which aspect of you gives rise to anger and jealousy?

Now the real question:
Can each aspect of you act for the benefit of others?
Could each emanation fulfill your own aims and the aims of others?