Constellations of energy.

You probably recognize this:

                                      *
       *       *         *           *
*                             *

That pattern was imprinted in our minds when we were still children gazing up with wonder at the night sky. With some repeated searching, it became easier and easier to recognize this constellation of stars, and now when we see the pattern we don't even think about it- it's the big dipper.

Constellations reveal a lot about the way our minds work. We try to organize information in such a way that it is easier and more efficient for us to work with it in the future. There is no big dipper. From the vantage point of Polaris the constellation of the big dipper would look completely different. The only reason we recognize this constellation is because we have been trained to identify it and it resembles objects with which we are familiar.

This same training and shaping of our perceptions and the concepts that we apply to them shapes our understanding of the world and our identity. Reality is itself a continually unfolding process. The amount of information that we can process and manage is quite limited, so we train from birth in recognizing certain patterns and events. These patterns and events form constellations of concepts in our minds, so that we can develop and better orient ourselves with the world around us.

Understanding the constellations of reality is a useful tool, but it is not without its side effects.

What happens when we confuse the constellation of events? What happens when we get caught up in negative mental states or are anxious about some perceived event in the future? None of those constellations is fixed or lasting, and yet we get caught up in reifying the constellation that we can't see how much space is left in there.

This is fundamentally what the Buddha was talking about when he introduced selflessness or the concept of emptiness. There is an appearing aspect to the world around us, but it is our minds that create the conception of an identity.

There are no lines in the night sky. Our minds draw the lines.

There is no truly existing self. Our minds merely connect the constellation of phenomena we call a 'self' into something we can try to hold onto and call our own.

Same goes with all phenomena. This cup, computer, table, house. They are all constellations of dependent origination in the form of energy.

Feeding concepts.

When was the last time someone told you something that influenced and shaped your experience?

Do you find yourself being aware of this as it plays itself out?

Probably not.

We often think of ourselves as rationale coherent beings, experiencing the world through our lens of truth. We trust in our thoughts and emotions, believe that our perception is unerring, and value our discernment and judgement.

What we don't know is that much of what shapes our experience and perception is concepts that were planted long, long ago. Most of which we didn't even know were being planted.

Take my two year old as an example. My wife said she didn't like chicken pot pie. My daughter parroted her taste preferences, yet she has never had chicken pot pie. We have yet to find out how long this biased perception lasts.

Chicken pot pie isn't much of a big deal. It doesn't really matter if you like mustard or not, or if you prefer skim over whole milk.

But what about your concepts about race, sexual orientation and religion? What about your views about money, politics and human rights?

Most of what we call our ideas, opinions and preferences have been fed to us. Most often, we don't dissect and analyze those preferences too much, we think we came to them through our own merits.

Part of waking up means no longer trusting your own biased perception. You need to recognize that your perception is biased, that is a starting point. Your view isn't to be held onto. Your position isn't to be fortified. All of that is confusion.  We are confused.

Once you know that we are confused, then you can start the process of right view, right intention, right discernment. First, you need to be honest with yourself. Then you can start to be honest with others, and things get better.  

Relevance.

Do you ever find yourself getting caught up in collecting information for the sake of collecting more? 

We have this tendency in our practice- our practice of being generous, making an impact, being open and available to others around us- we have this tendency to externalize the practice. 

We get wrapped up in ideas and concepts.  We make our practice this big project with all of these complicated pieces.  We gather and collect, piece together and reanalyze.  Maybe even start back at square one. 

We need to evaluate what is relevant to our practice.  The process of doing that needs to occur on the basis of what is going on inside of us, not outside of us. 

Where are we getting stuck?  What are we grasping at?  Where is our hope and fear? 

Obstacles that we encounter in our mind are the ground for hope and fear.  The cycle of hope and fear spring from the resistance that is occurring in our own minds. 

Information gathering becomes a hiding place.  It becomes busy work that keeps us occupied and safe.

When that happens, it is not relevant to our practice.

Identify resistance.
Internalize your practice.
Notice when and why you try to get away. 

When you break through the resistance, it is like a dam giving way, all the qualities that were blockaded naturally pour out. 

Where do you stand?

If you maintain a position, by default you have created insiders and outsiders.  You have people for you and people against you.  You defend your allies and disparage your enemies. 

In order to maintain that position you need to exert a lot of effort.  You need to continually engage in a battle between hope and fear.  Maintaining your position becomes a part of your identity, who you are, you become your position and your position becomes you. 

And yet none of this is real. 

It is only real as long as we continue to invest in the stance and the ground we hold onto.  As we loosen our fixation to our own position, the duality between allies and enemies starts to dissolve.  You see your allies position and can understand it, but you also see you enemies position and can understand it.  You may see that neither stance is right, and for you it doesn't need to be.

Seeing all positions and not fixating on your own, there is a chance that you might do real work.  There is a chance that you might be of some benefit to others and find your own work meaningful.   

This might not work.

I thought it was going to, I really did. 
I thought this was finally the answer I have been looking for.
I thought it was going to be the next big thing.
I wanted it to work out.
I wanted it to be important, to make a difference.
This was going to change everything.
All the facts lined up, the data was there.  It was rationale, coherent.
It just made sense.

Was it the idea that was flawed? Our expectations? Our effort?
When we failed, was the game really over or was it just getting started?

Fear usually has a pretty good story to tell.  So does doubt.

Stick to the practice.