Usually we try to meet challenges with aggression. We get ourselves worked up, we really fight and give it our all. We meet intense situations with more intensity.
Aggression is the bold face. What lies beneath all of that aggression is aversion. We fear losing, or losing control. We don't back down because we would then feel vulnerable. We keep pushing, because at least we can say we kept pushing.
Our culture loves the aggressive model of meeting challenges. It is celebrated and often bears the intended fruit. But aggression is also exhausting and it doesn't always leave us feeling satisfied inside.
Is aggression the only way?
Imagine instead of pushing back against challenges, we let them in, were patient with them, and then shared generously.
Imagine instead of getting worked up and fighting, we witnessed the situation and then acted with kindness.
Imagine instead of intensifying our activity, we moved with deliberate gentleness.
The ability to witness, understand and listen is the hallmark of accepting situations as they arise. The ability to then stand up, speak and act is the hallmark of sharing your gifts.
Overwhelm challenges with love.
Clarify your practice. Let your practice clarify you.
Showing posts with label aggression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aggression. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Monday, March 9, 2015
Containing violence.
Every action takes place in a supporting environment.
Let's take a look at that support. It depends on the place, the people present, the contributing factors and conditions. Nothing is isolated.
So are we containers for violence?
Terrible things happen every day, things that are not our fault and things that we didn't do. They are happening and we are not involved and not responsible, so we are innocent. But are we innocent? Are our hands clean? Or is our innocence a contributing factor? By doing nothing, are we acting as a container for which this aggression gets perpetuated?
The individual and the collective. Not as separate as they seem.
#DoNoHarm
Let's take a look at that support. It depends on the place, the people present, the contributing factors and conditions. Nothing is isolated.
So are we containers for violence?
Terrible things happen every day, things that are not our fault and things that we didn't do. They are happening and we are not involved and not responsible, so we are innocent. But are we innocent? Are our hands clean? Or is our innocence a contributing factor? By doing nothing, are we acting as a container for which this aggression gets perpetuated?
The individual and the collective. Not as separate as they seem.
#DoNoHarm
Thursday, February 26, 2015
What do we do when anger shows up?
Anger shows up at a party and starts causing division and tension. What do we do with anger?
Do we act as a passive bystander? Maybe if we pretend this isn't happening it will go away. At the very least this isn't my fault so I am not going to get involved.
Do we rally the troops, barge in and meet anger with anger? Let's see who wins. Probably no one.
Not passive, not aggressive. What others options do we have?
We can practice fierce compassion, which looks like openness and doing the emotional labor of advocating for what is right.
Being open means being fierce, because it is definitely easier to sit in back and not get involved. Being open also means being willing to listen without bias or judgement, of being able to drop your assumptions and perception in favor of seeing clearly.
Doing emotional labor means doing the hard work of being patient and respectful, acting with kindness and most of all, not shutting down when fear shows up.
None of this is easy, but it is important. This is why we have our practice, because we need to learn how to work with our own anger and aggression. We need to learn how to actually be open and not shut down in the face of fear and uncertainty.
This starts with you, but it affects everyone.
#DoNoHarm
Do we act as a passive bystander? Maybe if we pretend this isn't happening it will go away. At the very least this isn't my fault so I am not going to get involved.
Do we rally the troops, barge in and meet anger with anger? Let's see who wins. Probably no one.
Not passive, not aggressive. What others options do we have?
We can practice fierce compassion, which looks like openness and doing the emotional labor of advocating for what is right.
Being open means being fierce, because it is definitely easier to sit in back and not get involved. Being open also means being willing to listen without bias or judgement, of being able to drop your assumptions and perception in favor of seeing clearly.
Doing emotional labor means doing the hard work of being patient and respectful, acting with kindness and most of all, not shutting down when fear shows up.
None of this is easy, but it is important. This is why we have our practice, because we need to learn how to work with our own anger and aggression. We need to learn how to actually be open and not shut down in the face of fear and uncertainty.
This starts with you, but it affects everyone.
#DoNoHarm
Thursday, July 31, 2014
When worlds collide.
Imagine your riding along, enjoying your day. Up ahead you see a fine looking fellow who tosses his water bottle into the woods. What to do?
In his world, there is no problem. The results of his actions are too distant to comprehend and his cares are too few.
In your world the fires of anger have begun to burn. How can someone act with such blatant disrespect and carelessness?
Who's problem is it? How to proceed? How do your resolve this collision of worlds? Do you set out and attack, or perhaps employ some intergalactic diplomacy?
We imagine that the resolution to conflicts in our world are too remote, too distant and beyond ourselves. Actually, they are right in front of us. Everyday.
We need to learn how to connect to others in a genuine way. Don't attack them from a superior position, approach them with respect and establish a common ground.
Draw out the implications of their actions, from their perspective, not yours. Engage empathy.
When they accept the implications of their actions they come to embrace a larger scope. They see a bigger picture, how they are connected and the power of their actions. At some point they may come to a decisive experience in which they actually change their view and their behavior.
Ignoring the problem isn't compassionate. And it's not skillful.
Solving the problem for them won't help, they haven't realized why it needs to be solved.
Forcing your position on them will only incite anger in their world, no chance for change then.
So your only option is patience, empathy, connection, reason and respect. From the position of a shared basis, change is possible. Freedom and peace are possible. It's not them against us, it's us against us.
In his world, there is no problem. The results of his actions are too distant to comprehend and his cares are too few.
In your world the fires of anger have begun to burn. How can someone act with such blatant disrespect and carelessness?
Who's problem is it? How to proceed? How do your resolve this collision of worlds? Do you set out and attack, or perhaps employ some intergalactic diplomacy?
We imagine that the resolution to conflicts in our world are too remote, too distant and beyond ourselves. Actually, they are right in front of us. Everyday.
We need to learn how to connect to others in a genuine way. Don't attack them from a superior position, approach them with respect and establish a common ground.
Draw out the implications of their actions, from their perspective, not yours. Engage empathy.
When they accept the implications of their actions they come to embrace a larger scope. They see a bigger picture, how they are connected and the power of their actions. At some point they may come to a decisive experience in which they actually change their view and their behavior.
Ignoring the problem isn't compassionate. And it's not skillful.
Solving the problem for them won't help, they haven't realized why it needs to be solved.
Forcing your position on them will only incite anger in their world, no chance for change then.
So your only option is patience, empathy, connection, reason and respect. From the position of a shared basis, change is possible. Freedom and peace are possible. It's not them against us, it's us against us.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Akshobhya
OM AH HUNG AKSHOBHYA VAJRA HUNG
Akshobhya is one of the Five Family Buddhas.
His pure land is Abhirati, Manifest Joy, representing the great joy and happiness experienced by the awakened ones. His color is deep blue, like the depths of the ocean representing his activity of pacification. His mudra is the earth-touching mudra symbolizing mother earth bearing witness to his victory over Mara. His left hand rests in his lap in meditative equipoise holding a five pointed vajra. The vajra represents the indestructible, immovable and impenetrable awakened mind which is the enlightenment of buddhahood.
In regard to our own mind and self, Akshobhya represents the skandha of consciousness. Consciousness serves as the basis for all of our experience, whether it is our experience of sense perceptions or our experience of mind and mental states. Consciousness can be both non-conceptual knowing or experience or it can involve concepts and thought constructs. It is important to recognize that the skandha of consciousness is not the forms that appears (the first skandha), it is not sensation (which is the second skandha), it is not perception (which is the third skandha) and it is not judgement or concepts themselves (which are the fourth skandha). Consciousness as the basis of experience focuses on what is useful or what validates our sense of self and ignores whatever conflicts with what we perceive as our 'self'. Our constant struggle to find 'who we are' involves this never ending play of the skandhas with consciousness serving as the stage in which these stories play themselves out.
Akshobhya is the Buddha that represents completely purified aversion or aggression. As our sense of self hardens we become more self-righteous, more opinionated and critical of others. We become very authoritarian and assertive. These mental states naturally encounter conflict and problems in our world and relationships which provoke anger and aggression. This is much like being on the surface of a great ocean, the winds of change stir up great waves of emotion and we are constantly struggling to stay afloat. Akshobhya represents the transformation of that aversion and aggression into mirror-like wisdom. A mirror is crystal clear, empty and luminous. It perfectly reflects whatever is placed in front of it without any distortion, manipulation or contrivance. It holds everything but is not stained by the defects of whatever appears. A mirror is like a completely placid ocean in which everything is perfectly reflected but you can also peer into the profound depths.
Akshobhya rides an elephant possessed with all the major and minor marks. A wild elephant represents the undisciplined mind and is very difficult to control and can easily cause a lot of damage. A trained elephant is able to withstand much trauma and hardship, it can easily remove obstacles and can make its way through a thick jungle by clearing a path with its tusks of mindfulness and vigilance. An elephant has great endurance and is unassailable by its enemies, yet it is also wise and dignified, moving with great majesty and beauty.
When we deeply contemplate and integrate the wisdom and symbolism of Akshobhya, we can learn to transmute aversion into mirror-like wisdom. Rather than getting caught up in situations and reacting to them, constantly fighting them like the waves of the ocean; we can relax into the depths of the ocean and experience the immovable and unshakeable depths of awakened mind. Water seems fluid and ethereal, but it is extremely powerful and can carve out rock without requiring violence or aggression. When we realize the indestructible nature of mind, like a mirror we can hold whatever hardship and adversity we experience, we can work with whatever problems and obstacles Mara conjures up and we can gain complete victory in the impenetrable fortress of the true nature of reality. In this way all obstacles and negativity are naturally pacified and abiding in Abhirati, one experiences great joy and happiness at this triumph.
It is easy for others to bear witness to this victory, because it is not stained by self-righteousness or egotism. The holders of the indestructible awakened mind ride elephants, blazing paths where the way seemed too fraught with danger. They move with majesty and poise and tirelessly carry others to the far shore.
Akshobhya is one of the Five Family Buddhas.
His pure land is Abhirati, Manifest Joy, representing the great joy and happiness experienced by the awakened ones. His color is deep blue, like the depths of the ocean representing his activity of pacification. His mudra is the earth-touching mudra symbolizing mother earth bearing witness to his victory over Mara. His left hand rests in his lap in meditative equipoise holding a five pointed vajra. The vajra represents the indestructible, immovable and impenetrable awakened mind which is the enlightenment of buddhahood.
In regard to our own mind and self, Akshobhya represents the skandha of consciousness. Consciousness serves as the basis for all of our experience, whether it is our experience of sense perceptions or our experience of mind and mental states. Consciousness can be both non-conceptual knowing or experience or it can involve concepts and thought constructs. It is important to recognize that the skandha of consciousness is not the forms that appears (the first skandha), it is not sensation (which is the second skandha), it is not perception (which is the third skandha) and it is not judgement or concepts themselves (which are the fourth skandha). Consciousness as the basis of experience focuses on what is useful or what validates our sense of self and ignores whatever conflicts with what we perceive as our 'self'. Our constant struggle to find 'who we are' involves this never ending play of the skandhas with consciousness serving as the stage in which these stories play themselves out.
Akshobhya is the Buddha that represents completely purified aversion or aggression. As our sense of self hardens we become more self-righteous, more opinionated and critical of others. We become very authoritarian and assertive. These mental states naturally encounter conflict and problems in our world and relationships which provoke anger and aggression. This is much like being on the surface of a great ocean, the winds of change stir up great waves of emotion and we are constantly struggling to stay afloat. Akshobhya represents the transformation of that aversion and aggression into mirror-like wisdom. A mirror is crystal clear, empty and luminous. It perfectly reflects whatever is placed in front of it without any distortion, manipulation or contrivance. It holds everything but is not stained by the defects of whatever appears. A mirror is like a completely placid ocean in which everything is perfectly reflected but you can also peer into the profound depths.
Akshobhya rides an elephant possessed with all the major and minor marks. A wild elephant represents the undisciplined mind and is very difficult to control and can easily cause a lot of damage. A trained elephant is able to withstand much trauma and hardship, it can easily remove obstacles and can make its way through a thick jungle by clearing a path with its tusks of mindfulness and vigilance. An elephant has great endurance and is unassailable by its enemies, yet it is also wise and dignified, moving with great majesty and beauty.
When we deeply contemplate and integrate the wisdom and symbolism of Akshobhya, we can learn to transmute aversion into mirror-like wisdom. Rather than getting caught up in situations and reacting to them, constantly fighting them like the waves of the ocean; we can relax into the depths of the ocean and experience the immovable and unshakeable depths of awakened mind. Water seems fluid and ethereal, but it is extremely powerful and can carve out rock without requiring violence or aggression. When we realize the indestructible nature of mind, like a mirror we can hold whatever hardship and adversity we experience, we can work with whatever problems and obstacles Mara conjures up and we can gain complete victory in the impenetrable fortress of the true nature of reality. In this way all obstacles and negativity are naturally pacified and abiding in Abhirati, one experiences great joy and happiness at this triumph.
It is easy for others to bear witness to this victory, because it is not stained by self-righteousness or egotism. The holders of the indestructible awakened mind ride elephants, blazing paths where the way seemed too fraught with danger. They move with majesty and poise and tirelessly carry others to the far shore.
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