Understanding what is beyond expression.

The true nature of reality is beyond expression. Our own nature, the nature of our mind, can be directly encountered, but it is itself inexpressible.

Our minds really struggle with this. Concepts, words and ideas are the currency of our ordinary mind.

There are two terms that are used to approach the understanding of ultimate reality: dharmakaya and dharmadhatu.

Dharmakaya refers to the originally pure, empty nature of our own awareness. It is uncaused, unstained, free from reference points and the extremes of 'it is' or 'it is not'. The metaphor for understanding the dharmakaya is that it is like space. Pure presence is experienced as open, spacious and transparent, with nothing to hold onto.

The dharmadhatu refers to the true nature of reality that is free from the extremes of 'it is' or 'it is not'. The dharmadhatu is the union of the two truths, relative and ultimate, that is itself the infinite play of dependent origination in which no thing is ever truly born. All phenomena being dependently originated, they are empty in nature. Unborn and unceasing, the illusory play of reality unfolds continuously and yet nothing ever comes into being. (If you don't understand this, please ask questions!)

When pure, open awareness of the interconnected universe is made fully evident, one experiences the dharmakaya blending with the dharmadhatu. This is the single sphere of awareness, the non-dual experiential reality of awakened mind. Abiding in the primordial state of the single sphere of awareness, all that appears and exists is but the infinite play of dependent origination as the dynamic energy of awareness.

As soon as concepts, reification or fixation on what is 'real' or 'me' or 'mine', you experience the split into subject and object duality. The result is diminished presence and getting caught up in the wheel of cyclic existence.

You can't think your way to a non-dual experience of reality.

Mindful presence.

Being present and aware we are open to directly experience the world.

The world is filled with suffering. Being present and aware allows us to fully understand that suffering, to be responsive and receptive to our own needs and the needs of others.

The world is filled with wonder and awe. Being present and aware allows us to fully enjoy that wonder as it unfolds around us.

When we are present and aware, we encounter the world as it is, while understanding that everything is connected and impermanent. That is the outlook of mindful presence.

Crossing the chasm.

Vipasyana is the practice of looking at the mind and the nature of the self. Once we have cultivated a mind that is calm and clear, we use it to look at the nature of mind and the nature of reality. Since birth we have taken this self to be truly existing. Our bodies change over time, our ideas and beliefs might fluctuate and change, but there is a conscious aspect of the mind that seems to continue throughout our whole life, that seems to be permanent and true.

This minds existence is never really challenged, we simply know it experientially to be true.

There is a great chasm that we need to cross in our practice of vipasyana. We need to cross over the threshold of believing and apprehending of the self as being permanent, real, unchanging and true. On the other side of that chasm is the conception of a self that is impermanent, interconnected, constantly changing and flexible. Those two seem irreconcilable.

Our conception of the self as being real and unchanging leads to us feeling stuck and powerless in situations. We often find ourselves searching for external relief and trying to manipulate external conditions. We languish in our efforts to prop up the self by controlling outer circumstances. Reifying the self, we simultaneously invest great importance in our material conditions and our experience of the world around us. We believe deep down that if we can just get everything right, that our sense of self and our place in the world will all be secured.

When a gap opens up in our meditation, look at that gap. 

Look at our habitual perception and our ingrained conception of the self. Is it true? Who are we? What is the nature of this self that we hold so dear?

If we look at the self through the lens of the first turning of the wheel of Dharma, we can start to appreciate how the self truly abides. We can start to see that the self is composed of many facets- our body, emotions, perceptions, thoughts and beliefs, and of course our consciousness- all those are connected. We can start to appreciate how our consciousness itself is composed of many facets. We have emotions and experience them in our mind, but we are not our emotions. We have thoughts and ideas, but we are not our thoughts and ideas. We experience various sense appearances like sights, sounds and smells, but none of those are who we are.

Simply looking at the mind through this lens of the Dharma, we start to see our false notions and beliefs in who we think we are. We start to see our limiting conceptions and how our emotional imbalance limits our capacity to act as we intend. Simply looking at the present condition of our mind and self, we can see all of the factors that brought us to the here and now.

Simply see. Witness this appearance of the self free from judgement or bias. This is the essence of self-awareness.

Having this insight into the self, we start to see more truly. We still conceive of a self, but that is interconnected with a larger whole. The outer world still exists, but we can see that it is constantly changing and dynamic. We can appreciate this newfound perspective of mindful awareness, but it also carries with it a deep and profound sense of responsibility. We see how much we contribute to our own suffering and the suffering of others. We see how we perpetuate negative mental states and unwanted emotions. We also see the potential for freedom and a path forward.

We see all of that. We see ourselves standing on both sides of the chasm, not quite embodying either.

We don't just cross the chasm in a single leap. We cross it, and then we fall back into habitual patterns of conception. We leap over it, only to realize we landed back where we started. We stand on the other side, enjoy the view, only to be pulled back once again.

The path of seeing is the start of a long path ahead. It doesn't happen all at once, and yet it does time and time again.

Crossing the chasm might just require that you turn awareness back on itself.