The virtue of presence.

Presence is compassionate. It is open, available and responsive.
Presence witnesses the world as it is, offering acknowledgement, understanding and respect.
Presence is generous. Generous with your time, attention and effort.
Presence is disciplined. It does not waver or get caught up in cycles of confusion.
Presence is patient, overcoming the tendency to shut down and turn away.
Presence is diligent, willing to resolve hardship as we journey on the path.
Presence embodies a natural meditative stability.
Presence gives rise to insight and wisdom.

All virtues are embodied in presence. Practice being present, and you give the world a great gift.

Hard to fight the urge.

It is hard to be patient when you have a full bladder.
It is difficult to focus and do your best work when you haven't eaten all day.
It is a challenge to be kind when you are stressed out and running short on time.

No one ever plans on getting angry.  It just happens so fast and it is hard to fight off the urge.  It is usual and customary to prepare ourselves by going to the bathroom, making sure we have eaten and giving ourselves the time we need to do things right.  We prepare our bodies and our environment, why don't we prepare our mind?

Practice.  Meditate.  Generate compassion and kindness.  Set your intention.  Focus. 

These will enable you to fight off anger and aversion.  They'll even help with a full bladder and an empty stomach too!

#DoNoHarm

What do we do when anger shows up?

Anger shows up at a party and starts causing division and tension.  What do we do with anger?

Do we act as a passive bystander?  Maybe if we pretend this isn't happening it will go away.  At the very least this isn't my fault so I am not going to get involved.

Do we rally the troops, barge in and meet anger with anger?  Let's see who wins.  Probably no one.

Not passive, not aggressive.  What others options do we have?

We can practice fierce compassion, which looks like openness and doing the emotional labor of advocating for what is right.

Being open means being fierce, because it is definitely easier to sit in back and not get involved.  Being open also means being willing to listen without bias or judgement, of being able to drop your assumptions and perception in favor of seeing clearly.

Doing emotional labor means doing the hard work of being patient and respectful, acting with kindness and most of all, not shutting down when fear shows up. 

None of this is easy, but it is important.  This is why we have our practice, because we need to learn how to work with our own anger and aggression.  We need to learn how to actually be open and not shut down in the face of fear and uncertainty.

This starts with you, but it affects everyone. 

#DoNoHarm

Dancing Partners

It's tempting when you go dancing to only dance to the songs you like and the people who dance like you.  It feels safer to dance with those who have the same tempo and those who make you look good.

The problem with this sort of dancing is that you spend most of your time waiting.  Waiting for the right song to play, waiting for your partner to be free, waiting for the right time to start.  You want to dance, but you never actually get around to dancing.

Start dancing with those who are bad dancers.  Be patient.  Slow down your tempo and adjust your posture.  Cut them some slack and give them time to catch up.  Listen to what they need and guide them with tiny steps and repetition.  You actually learn a lot about your own dancing when you teach others to dance.

Start dancing when it is not your song.  Explore a new tempo, a new style.  Feel the music and the beat, listen closely and let it guide you.  Trust your instincts, your intuition.  Dance on the edge of unknowing and fear.  Dance on the edge of 'you might look stupid'.  Watch what others are doing, adapt and adjust.  Make it your own.  You're still dancing.

Start dancers with others who are so much better than you.  Be awed by their grace and poise.  Mimic their moves.  Embody their grooves.  You might not have that much style and definitely don't have their grace, but let them lift you.  Be inspired.  Want to leap higher and with some extra pizzazz.  Now you know it is possible, keep dancing.

When every song and every partner presents themselves as an opportunity to dance, your practice has reached its consummation.  Now you are practicing the art of dance, so just keep on dancing.

Then you just need to learn how to bring those skills off the dance floor.  Dance in the streets, dance at work.  Dance with anger, dance with love.