What holds Buddhas back?

A fundamental principle in the Buddha's teachings is that all beings have buddhanature. This buddhanature is the nature of our own mind, and though it is always fully evident it often goes unrecognized. Instead of embracing the path of becoming buddhas, or being buddha (which really means the path of waking up, or being awake), we find ourselves entangled in the mess of life with all of our problems. As the Buddha says:

Noble child, all beings, though they find themselves with all sorts of afflictions,
Have a tathagata-garbha that is eternally unsullied, 

and that is replete with virtues no different from my own.

Tathagatagarbha Sutra

If the tathagatagarbha, or buddhanature, is our fundamental nature of mind, why does it go unrecognized and why we do lack fulfillment?

There are four obscuring factors that keep us entangled in the afflictions: cognitive obscurations, emotional obscurations, habitual tendencies and karma. The work of the path of waking up and actualizing our buddhanature is to untie these ropes and release ourselves from bondage. The path of liberation is the path of freeing ourselves from these shackles and actualizing the resultant state, which is our innate buddhanature and natural awakened mind.

Cognitive obscurations are obscuring factors of our understanding and view of who we are and the nature of the world around us. All of us have bias, views we hold to as true, and cultural associations that go unquestioned. The work of untying the knots of cognitive obscurations is to shine a light on the way we actually think and perceive the world around us and our place in it. 

Emotional obscurations are the five primary negative emotions: attachment, aversion, confusion, jealousy, and arrogance. Each of these emotions overwhelms our minds and is centered on me and mine. It is not that these emotions are inherently bad or can't be used for good, but that in the presence of these emotions we often go blind and function solely out of reactive, self-centered impulses. The work of untying the knots of emotional obscurations is to find space amidst the emotions, so that we can work and respond to the energy that is coming up rather than becoming overwhelmed by that energy and reacting impulsively. 

Habitual tendencies are subtle and hard to break. So much of our conditioning comes from our childhood and from our culture, so much so that we don't usually know why we do the things we do or care about the things we think we care about. Habitual tendencies are hard to break because they are the rails or ski tracks that our day to day life is built around. It is so hard to break out of the tracks, and even if we manage to escape for a moment, it is also very easy to slip back in. The work of untying the knots of habitual tendencies is to introduce a fresh fall of snow powder over the terrain, and then do the hard work of charting a new course through the fresh powder. 

Karma is our actions and the results of our actions. Karma is also hard to untie because we cannot undo the past. All of our past actions have led us to the present moment, and that is what we have to work with. The good news is that all of our current actions are creating the moments of our future, and so we can give our future self the gift of good actions that we can later enjoy. As long as we operate in this world we always have karmic conditioning and karmic relationships. Karma doesn't need to be a binding force, as we learn to work with karma on the path you can start to recognize how everything is naturally free in its own place, even if things aren't quite the way you would have liked them to be. The present is the only moment you have to work with, so work with it. 

As we loosen the shackles of these four binding forces, gradually our own true nature becomes more and more evident. Much like gold is slowly extracted and refined from its ore, so too our awakened mind is gradually revealed and made fully evident. 

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Two perspectives on mind.

I've been playing with two perspectives on mind that are interesting to think about and examine. One is an inside-out perspective (which you will probably recognize to some extent) and the other is outside-in.

Both of these are modeled after the Buddha's understanding of the development of mind. Some of these concepts might be new, but they are all easily recognized once you get used to the layout.

First, let's consider the inside-out perspective.

We start with the (1) nature of mind, non-dual awareness and emptiness, luminous emptiness, the very ground of all. Not recognizing the empty aspect of the nature of mind, we mistake the apparent aspect as the ground of being (alaya), thus establishing the (2) alaya consciousness, or the foundational consciousness in which we conceive of a subjective self. This foundational consciousness becomes the stream of our mental continuum, in which the seeds of all our actions are planted. The alaya consciousness is accompanied by the five universal mental factors that operate in every mind (contact, sensation, perception, intention, attention).

From this alaya consciousness, we start to complete the development of the (3) eight consciousnesses. From the alaya consciousness develops the narrative or afflicted consciousness, which orients everything around 'me' and 'mine', consciousness becoming the narrator of its own experience. From this narrative consciousness comes the development of the mental thinking consciousness and the five sense consciousnesses (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch). This marks the complete development of the mind, with its division into the eight consciousnesses (alaya, narrative, mental, and five sense).

From the development of consciousness, we have the development of the (4) five skandhas or aggregates of the self. The aggregate of consciousness gives rise to the aggregate of feeling, interpreting the contact between consciousness and its object as either pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. From the feeling skandha we have the aggregate of perception, discerning the qualities of the object. From perception we have the aggregate of mental formations, involving our particular concepts, beliefs, or philosophical views about the object. Finally, we have the aggregate of form, what we see, hear and experience appearing to us through the filter of our own consciousness and all of the layers that we have added on through our processing of that experience.

It is important to understand that the five skandhas or aggregates of the self are the way that we experience the world. Our everyday experience of interacting with the world is through consciousness, feeling, perception, mental formations and forms. This is the reality that we take to exist day in and day out.

This inside-out model of the mind leaves us feeling rather stuck. Our ordinary perceptions and experiences seem very concrete and real. The subtle layers of the mind seem very remote and distant compared to the ever present challenges we face day to day. We are in a sense 'caught' at the outer layers of the mind and our experience of the world.

Let's compare this to the outside-in perspective.

The process of development is the same in this perspective, but we are orienting ourselves differently. Here everything is contained within the (1) non-dual nature of mind, luminous emptiness that is the ground of all that appears and exists. Not recognizing the empty aspect of the nature of mind, we mistake the apparent aspect of the nature of mind as the ground of being (alaya), thus establishing the (2) alaya consciousness. From the alaya consciousness develops the narrative or afflicted consciousness, along with the rest of the (3) eight consciousnesses. All of this are included within the nature of mind and are inseparable from it.

From the development of consciousness, we have the development of the (4) five skandhas or aggregates of the self. These five aggregates are all contained within the aggregate of consciousness, such that there is nothing that we experience that is outside of mind. The outer world that we are experiencing is not separate from us, but we are entangled in a web of dependent origination in which interconnected phenomena are mistakenly taken to exist separately and individually. This is not to say that there is no outer reality at all, but that reality does not exist as we think or believe it to exist.

This perspective actually makes a lot of sense. We know that some people in our life have very different perspectives on what they think is real. Which of those perspective is more correct? Is it yours? Are you sure? I think we could all agree that a child's perspective about what is real in the world is probably a little bit mistaken. But are we so much more wise than a child?

The outside-in perspective opens up doorways to fundamentally challenge and change your perspective about who you are and the world in which you live. You are what you think, as is the world. Your view, or vision, shapes your experience of reality. When you start to appreciate that all of this is the expression of the true nature of mind and the very nature of reality, you can also appreciate the potential and capacity this perspective presents.

Contemplate. Meditate. See what you discover.

Removing the mystery of meditation.

Understanding the mind and the nature of reality is often profound and difficult work. Understanding how to train the mind shouldn't be.

The path of meditation is very rational and practical. Once you have the basic tools and a working basis for understanding your own mind, you can develop a high degree of self-sufficiency in your practice. Just as a mechanic is able to properly diagnose a problem and fix it, you should be able to discern the quality of your meditation and to know how to correct it.

The advantage of having this type of self-sufficiency is that when we are meditating, it is really just us and our mind. No one has a better view of the situation than you. We can ask questions and get direction from other people, but the work has to be done ourselves. Internal confusion must be eventually be resolved through your own practice.

Learn how to meditate. Learn the key elements and tools involved in the practice. Develop familiarity and agility working with the mind. Based on your own experience, give rise to confidence in your practice. Continue to explore deeper.

Crossing the chasm.

Vipasyana is the practice of looking at the mind and the nature of the self. Once we have cultivated a mind that is calm and clear, we use it to look at the nature of mind and the nature of reality. Since birth we have taken this self to be truly existing. Our bodies change over time, our ideas and beliefs might fluctuate and change, but there is a conscious aspect of the mind that seems to continue throughout our whole life, that seems to be permanent and true.

This minds existence is never really challenged, we simply know it experientially to be true.

There is a great chasm that we need to cross in our practice of vipasyana. We need to cross over the threshold of believing and apprehending of the self as being permanent, real, unchanging and true. On the other side of that chasm is the conception of a self that is impermanent, interconnected, constantly changing and flexible. Those two seem irreconcilable.

Our conception of the self as being real and unchanging leads to us feeling stuck and powerless in situations. We often find ourselves searching for external relief and trying to manipulate external conditions. We languish in our efforts to prop up the self by controlling outer circumstances. Reifying the self, we simultaneously invest great importance in our material conditions and our experience of the world around us. We believe deep down that if we can just get everything right, that our sense of self and our place in the world will all be secured.

When a gap opens up in our meditation, look at that gap. 

Look at our habitual perception and our ingrained conception of the self. Is it true? Who are we? What is the nature of this self that we hold so dear?

If we look at the self through the lens of the first turning of the wheel of Dharma, we can start to appreciate how the self truly abides. We can start to see that the self is composed of many facets- our body, emotions, perceptions, thoughts and beliefs, and of course our consciousness- all those are connected. We can start to appreciate how our consciousness itself is composed of many facets. We have emotions and experience them in our mind, but we are not our emotions. We have thoughts and ideas, but we are not our thoughts and ideas. We experience various sense appearances like sights, sounds and smells, but none of those are who we are.

Simply looking at the mind through this lens of the Dharma, we start to see our false notions and beliefs in who we think we are. We start to see our limiting conceptions and how our emotional imbalance limits our capacity to act as we intend. Simply looking at the present condition of our mind and self, we can see all of the factors that brought us to the here and now.

Simply see. Witness this appearance of the self free from judgement or bias. This is the essence of self-awareness.

Having this insight into the self, we start to see more truly. We still conceive of a self, but that is interconnected with a larger whole. The outer world still exists, but we can see that it is constantly changing and dynamic. We can appreciate this newfound perspective of mindful awareness, but it also carries with it a deep and profound sense of responsibility. We see how much we contribute to our own suffering and the suffering of others. We see how we perpetuate negative mental states and unwanted emotions. We also see the potential for freedom and a path forward.

We see all of that. We see ourselves standing on both sides of the chasm, not quite embodying either.

We don't just cross the chasm in a single leap. We cross it, and then we fall back into habitual patterns of conception. We leap over it, only to realize we landed back where we started. We stand on the other side, enjoy the view, only to be pulled back once again.

The path of seeing is the start of a long path ahead. It doesn't happen all at once, and yet it does time and time again.

Crossing the chasm might just require that you turn awareness back on itself.

What are you holding onto?

As you go about your day, what do you find yourself getting hung up on?

Is it your form?  Do you find yourself constantly worrying about how you look?  Are you beautiful or ugly, is that blemish too noticeable?  Too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, feeling strong or feeling weak; what are you hung up on?

Are you stuck on your feelings?  Do you find yourself running away from pain, doubt or sadness?  Do you chase after things that make you feel good, or experiences that are thrilling and exciting?  If you don't feel just right, how does it affect your day?

Are you holding onto your own perception?  Do you stick to your version of right and wrong, playing out storylines and arguments in your head?  Is your perspective the best perspective?  Does others perception of you determine how you feel about your status or respect?  What happens when you think you are about to lose control?

Are you caught up in various mental formations?  Are your ideas, stories, and opinions really important?  Do you rigidly hold to your beliefs or philosophy?  Are there memories that come up in your head day and night that you cannot escape?

Maybe you don't hold onto any of those and you are certain of who you are.  I know who I am, and yet who I am?  I experience the world through sight, sound, smell, taste and touch, do I chase after any of those?  Surely. 

We hold onto many things throughout the day, chasing after many more.  All of those constitute our experience and who we are, but we are none of those things.  They are the nuts and bolts, the beams and rafters, yet we are none of those things. 

If we are none of those things and yet they make up all that we are, then what are we?

Our human dilemma.

Take a walk in a forest or park.  What do you see?

Trees and flowers of various sizes, shapes and colors.
Beautiful ones and strange ones and ugly ones too.
Look at the small details.  Feel them.  Smell them.
Perfect in all of their imperfections,
a wonderful enjoyment of natural freedom,
no need to alter, left to remain just as it is.

Then we have birds and bugs, even spiders and mice,
how amusing these creatures,
beautiful ones and strange ones and ugly ones too.
Look at their details.  Listen to them, watch them.
Perfect in all of their imperfections,
a wonderful enjoyment of natural freedom,
no need to alter, left to remain just as they are. 

And then we see humans,
how amusing indeed,
beautiful ones and strange ones and ugly ones too.
Look at their details, how do they act.  What do they say when you interact?
Could they be smarter or pick up the pace?
Could they excuse themselves for their wayward ways?
Are they agreeable, friendly and nice?
Or should they act better, c'mon remember 'Leave no trace!'
Are they perfect in all of their imperfections?
Do you enjoy their natural freedom?
If you could alter, just a tweak, would you?  Could you?

This is the root of the human dilemma,
the source of our problems, our wars and our rage.
The problem doesn't lie in the natural world,
it lies in our mind and our own faulty vision.
We won't fix it if we keep trying to fix others,
for others are too many and our time is too short.
Better to change our own lens, train our own minds,
Resolve our own faults and imperfections,
and imperfections become perfections,
a wonderful enjoyment of natural freedom.
Left to remain, just as we are.

Judgment of one, judgment of all.
Conflict in one, conflict with all.
Resolving one, we resolve all.
The essence of the path isn't to gain something new,
it is to resolve your own condition,
and rediscover your natural freedom.
Liberate one, and all is liberated,
just as it is.

Let's take a walk in the park.  

Why don't I remember my past life?

Reincarnation is not a dogmatic Buddhist belief.  You do not have to believe in reincarnation to be Buddhist or practice the Buddha's teachings.  What you should do is analyze yourself, study the scriptures and come to your own understanding through study, reflection and meditation.

To understand reincarnation and rebirth you need to understand consciousness and what it is that is being reborn.  This is actually very difficult to do, because even though we all know we have a mind, we really have a very limited understanding about how it actually works.

Let's use the analogy of a river.

When you stand at a river's edge, the only part of the river that you really experience is, well, this part.  Right now, right here.  You can look up the river a ways and even down river for a little bit, but really the only river you really 'know' is this segment.

Actually this tiny portion of the river contains a lot of information in it.

Let's scoop up a sample of that water, what is in it?  We have a variety of thoughts, sights, sounds, feelings, sensations, smells and tastes.  All water bubbles.  These come and go in an endless variety.  Wherever you are on the river, you will find water bubbles.

What else is there?  Oh, here is a preference!  That is strange, I wonder where it can from.  When you find something, it is possible to trace it upstream to some source.  Let's say it is a preference for dark chocolate, what was it in your past that created this preference?  Some great experience, maybe a strong dislike of white chocolate led you on a chocolate tasting frenzy and you found a delicious morsel of dark chocolate that to this very day has you searching in local shops for more.

What else?  A memory.  Let's say it is a face.  Where did I meet you, trace and trace and trace and, Yes!  I met you at that one event with my great uncle.

What else?  Here is a belief.  That's weird, where did that come from?  Is it cultural, your family upbringing, religious or political.  Must have a source, let's investigate.

There must be something else here.  Oh, wait.  Here is kindness.  And love.  And humility.  And fear.  Damn, where did those come from?  Where does my sexual orientation come from, my unflagging interest in learning, my desire to build meaningful connections?  Honestly, I don't really know.  I mean I can trace a lot of that back upstream through my life and find certain markers to indicate their presence, but there isn't always a clear source. 

So, the question remains, why don't I remember my past life?

Well, what did you do on June 3, 2014.  No cheating.  No looking at your calendar to check what your schedule was that day, just tell me.  I bet you cannot.  You might be able to reconstruct that date based on a nearby event or since it was close to Memorial Day you might be able to infer an answer with some calculation, but really you have no idea.  No idea what you ate, no idea what you did, no idea if it was a good day or a bad day, no idea at all. Why? Because there is nothing you can hold onto.  It is water through your hands.

Maybe that is what we are supposed to get from all of this, that while we can trace back to events and memories in our past, there is nothing to hold onto. The only way to gain clarity on these matters is to develop a calm and pristine mind, then you might be able to pick up on subtle connections that pervade your past, present and future. 

So that leaves one other question, what does our future hold?

What are you doing with the water right now?  What imprints and traces are you leaving?  How are you influencing its quality and its course?  What are you doing, right now?  This is really the foundation of all the Buddha's teachings on karma and dependent origination.  Everything is contained by simply looking at your mind and your actions. 

If you want to know your past life, look at your present condition.

If you want to know your future life, look at your present actions.

~Padmasambhava

Of course the river analogy fits perfectly with our linear perception of time and space, past and future.  What happens if we use a vast matrix or even space to understand the mind?  Think about it.

What is the mind?

Are you aware of the different roles and personalities you play in your life?  How all of them represent a part of you, but do not fully encompass every aspect of who you are.  For example, who you are at work versus who you are with your mother versus who you are when you are with your friends at a game. 

Certainly there are common characteristics that carry through, but each is different and unique.  Who you are is shaped by your environment and the people around you.  None of them is permanent and lasting. 

It is the same with the mind.

The Buddha enumerated many different aspects of mind in order to fully elucidate what it is.  Mind can be broken down in the following eight layers:

1-5. Five sense consciousness (eye, ear, nose, taste, touch)
6. Conceptual consciousness
7. Afflicted consciousness
8. Foundational consciousness

The first five act as witnesses to the phenomenal world.  Conceptual consciousness provides the commentary.  Afflicted consciousness is all of our neurotic habits and biased perceptions.  Foundational consciousness is the platform upon which all of them carry through, day after day, lifetime after lifetime.

Why is this important?

Most forms of meditation facilitate a particular mental state.  A mental state falls within the expanse of conventional mind- it is somewhere within these eight layers.  As long as we are within these eight layers of mind we are not free- we are bound. 

So check your meditation.

Are you grasping to sights, sounds, feelings?  Are you grasping to bliss, clarity or non-conceptuality?  Where are you fixated on a ground?

To meditate and not to liberate, what's the point?

The only way to liberate your mind is to recognize the play of the conventional mind- the play of the five sense consciousnesses, the play of thoughts and the play of neurosis.  Our mind does all sorts of funny things when we watch it.  If we are free from grasping, the play of conventional mind dissolves into the nature of mind. 

The nature of the mind has the quality of liberation.  Recognize it as such- a profound calm, pristine clarity, free from thought or elaboration. 

You can't even say 'This is it' without grasping, but you can know it directly.

Let's get started.

Akshobhya

OM AH HUNG AKSHOBHYA VAJRA HUNG

Akshobhya is one of the Five Family Buddhas.  

His pure land is Abhirati, Manifest Joy, representing the great joy and happiness experienced by the awakened ones.  His color is deep blue, like the depths of the ocean representing his activity of pacification.  His mudra is the earth-touching mudra symbolizing mother earth bearing witness to his victory over Mara.  His left hand rests in his lap in meditative equipoise holding a five pointed vajra.  The vajra represents the indestructible, immovable and impenetrable awakened mind which is the enlightenment of buddhahood.  

In regard to our own mind and self, Akshobhya represents the skandha of consciousness.  Consciousness serves as the basis for all of our experience, whether it is our experience of sense perceptions or our experience of mind and mental states.  Consciousness can be both non-conceptual knowing or experience or it can involve concepts and thought constructs.  It is important to recognize that the skandha of consciousness is not the forms that appears (the first skandha), it is not sensation (which is the second skandha), it is not perception (which is the third skandha) and it is not judgement or concepts themselves (which are the fourth skandha).  Consciousness as the basis of experience focuses on what is useful or what validates our sense of self and ignores whatever conflicts with what we perceive as our 'self'.  Our constant struggle to find 'who we are' involves this never ending play of the skandhas with consciousness serving as the stage in which these stories play themselves out. 

Akshobhya is the Buddha that represents completely purified aversion or aggression.  As our sense of self hardens we become more self-righteous, more opinionated and critical of others.  We become very authoritarian and assertive.  These mental states naturally encounter conflict and problems in our world and relationships which provoke anger and aggression.  This is much like being on the surface of a great ocean, the winds of change stir up great waves of emotion and we are constantly struggling to stay afloat.  Akshobhya represents the transformation of that aversion and aggression into mirror-like wisdom.  A mirror is crystal clear, empty and luminous.  It perfectly reflects whatever is placed in front of it without any distortion, manipulation or contrivance.  It holds everything but is not stained by the defects of whatever appears.  A mirror is like a completely placid ocean in which everything is perfectly reflected but you can also peer into the profound depths. 

Akshobhya rides an elephant possessed with all the major and minor marks.  A wild elephant represents the undisciplined mind and is very difficult to control and can easily cause a lot of damage.  A trained elephant is able to withstand much trauma and hardship, it can easily remove obstacles and can make its way through a thick jungle by clearing a path with its tusks of mindfulness and vigilance.  An elephant has great endurance and is unassailable by its enemies, yet it is also wise and dignified, moving with great majesty and beauty. 

When we deeply contemplate and integrate the wisdom and symbolism of Akshobhya, we can learn to transmute aversion into mirror-like wisdom.  Rather than getting caught up in situations and reacting to them, constantly fighting them like the waves of the ocean; we can relax into the depths of the ocean and experience the immovable and unshakeable depths of awakened mind.  Water seems fluid and ethereal, but it is extremely powerful and can carve out rock without requiring violence or aggression.  When we realize the indestructible nature of mind, like a mirror we can hold whatever hardship and adversity we experience, we can work with whatever problems and obstacles Mara conjures up and we can gain complete victory in the impenetrable fortress of the true nature of reality.  In this way all obstacles and negativity are naturally pacified and abiding in Abhirati, one experiences great joy and happiness at this triumph. 

It is easy for others to bear witness to this victory, because it is not stained by self-righteousness or egotism.  The holders of the indestructible awakened mind ride elephants, blazing paths where the way seemed too fraught with danger.  They move with majesty and poise and tirelessly carry others to the far shore.