Hey Pup, what's your view?

"Hey Pup."

"Hey Dog."

"Listen, Pup, I've been wondering why you don't play with any pugs?"

"No one in my pack plays with pugs."

"Why not?"

"Because, everyone knows that if you play with pugs you are likely to get hurt and that they can even ruin your whole pack."

"What?  That's not true, I've played with pugs my whole life and I've never had a problem.  Actually one of my best friends is a pug."

"Well you better be careful.  My pack refuses to acknowledge all the barking about how great pugs are these days.  My great granddog's pack nearly broke apart after they found out one of the new dogs had played with a pug.  It was only after he admitted that he wrong and promised to never do it again that the pack stayed together."

"Pup, I've seen you play with mutts and pit bulls, even jump into a river with a golden, but one pug comes around and you get all tied up in knots and refuse to play.  Don't you think you're just tormenting yourself worrying about these pugs."

"No, you don't joke around with pugs.  We just don't do it."

"Is there a chance that you are generalizing, that maybe there were certain situations that happened in the past and it just happened to be a pug.  Maybe it was the dog park or the type of game that was being played."

"What's your point?  Why are you attacking me and my pack just because we don't like pugs."

"I'm not attacking you, Pup.  I just want to know your view.  It seems to me that your view really affects your day to day reality and not necessarily in a good way.  The way you perceive pugs not only affects your actions, but you won't even play with other dogs if there is a pug around.  I'm not attacking you, Pup, I just think your view is a source of bondage for you."

"I appreciate your concern, Dog.  I do.  But this is the way its always been for my pack, we don't know any different and who wants to take a chance when there are all these others dogs we can play with anyways.  It's actually pretty easy to avoid pugs if you keep your eye out for them."

"That's the thing, Pup, your mind is preoccupied with pugs and you don't even recognize it.  All these other dogs play with pugs all the time and they have never had a problem.  There is so much of the dog park that you don't see because there might be a pug around.  This is all about fear and protecting yourself from pain, yet the fear itself torments you and you experience emotional pain and anxiety anyways."

"So what do you want me to do, just leave my pack behind and everyone I love to go play with some pugs.  I'm not going to do it Dog."

"I'm not asking you to leave your pack behind, maybe just get to know a pug and see what they are like.  Honestly, most of them are really nice and friendly just like all the other dogs here."

"My pack won't like this, I might get kicked out for even associating with a pug.  I can't believe I am even talking to you about this right now."

"I tell you what, just think about it.  You don't need to change today or even tomorrow.  Just watch from a distance, think about your view and how it affects your actions.  Does your view promote your happiness or does it promote suffering?  Does it promote the health and happiness of your pack and all the other dogs here or does it cause more division and judgement?  Just think about it Pup, that's all I ask."

"Alright, Dog, I'll think about it.  But don't tell anyone, I don't want to be known as the heretic."

"Your not a heretic for thinking about what is truly beneficial for your life and your pack, Pup, you might even strengthen your faith and do what is really important for them and all the other dogs here."

"Thanks Dog, I appreciate that."

What do we do when anger shows up?

Anger shows up at a party and starts causing division and tension.  What do we do with anger?

Do we act as a passive bystander?  Maybe if we pretend this isn't happening it will go away.  At the very least this isn't my fault so I am not going to get involved.

Do we rally the troops, barge in and meet anger with anger?  Let's see who wins.  Probably no one.

Not passive, not aggressive.  What others options do we have?

We can practice fierce compassion, which looks like openness and doing the emotional labor of advocating for what is right.

Being open means being fierce, because it is definitely easier to sit in back and not get involved.  Being open also means being willing to listen without bias or judgement, of being able to drop your assumptions and perception in favor of seeing clearly.

Doing emotional labor means doing the hard work of being patient and respectful, acting with kindness and most of all, not shutting down when fear shows up. 

None of this is easy, but it is important.  This is why we have our practice, because we need to learn how to work with our own anger and aggression.  We need to learn how to actually be open and not shut down in the face of fear and uncertainty.

This starts with you, but it affects everyone. 

#DoNoHarm