I choose happiness.

I choose happiness.

But it's not that simple, is it?

Despite our best intentions, we have all these negative emotions to deal with.

Despite our best effort, we have all these bad habits that reinforce and influence our actions.

Even when we think we have all the information needed to make a good decision,
we suffer from short sighted vision and biased perception.

We really want to choose happiness, but we cannot do that until we clear our heads, learn to control our emotions and start to see more clearly.

Hooked.

ལེན་པ་
Tibetan: Lenpa
English: Grasping, clinging, fixation, hooked, to hold, to perpetuate

When we encounter a problem in our life- stress, anxiety, difficult situations or decisions- we think the problems themselves are the actual problem.  The problems are to blame for how we feel and how our day went.  You know, when something can go wrong it will go wrong.

And it does, all the time. 

But what if the problem wasn't the actual problem.  What if it was our fixation and grasping to the problem?  What if it was our habit of getting hooked and perpetuating the problem? 

Problems come and go all the time.  We can either fight them tooth and nail and let them continue to torment us and our sleep, or we can see them as reminders of why we need to continue our practice.

If we don't get hooked there is a chance we can work through them.  In that way problems offer us a chance at liberation. 

Just breathe.

You hear this a lot.  Don't freak out.  Don't panic.  Don't blow this up any bigger than it is. 

Just breathe.

Part of what this advice is suggesting is: Don't get caught up in your emotions and the situation.  If staying with your breathe can help you hang in there longer, stay focused and precise, then yes!  Just breathe.

But don't confuse just breathe with
just back away slowly,
just go find a safe place to hide,
just protect yourself,
because that is bad advice and that is not what we are doing here.

Just breathe.
Just let go of what you are stuck on.
Let go of having to control the situation.
Let go of 'this or that',
Let go of value judgements.
It's hot in here.  It is going to get hotter.
You have to dance to the music that is playing.
Just breathe.

Skip the regalia.

Skip the romance.
Skip the awards and honors.
Skip the pretentiousness.
Skip being right and thinking your done.

Your practice is about showing up,
its about what you do when faced with problems and adversity,
and how you deal with opportunity available to you. 

Pre-Occupation.

What occupies your mind?  What chews up a lot of time in your head?

Does it need to be there?

Most of us complain about long, busy days at work, but even when we are not working our minds are often preoccupied.  Learning how to loosen the tight shackles that our mental busyness creates is a useful tool to have. 

Give your mind a day off. 

That wasn't so bad.

Not nearly as bad as what you thought it was going to be.

Your perception of what you are about to experience is usually worse than the actual experience itself. 

Why do you think that is?

Problem Solver.

What are the main problems in your life?

Stress.  Anxiety.  Health.  Money.  Love. Work.  Fear.  Busy.  Time.  People.

Normally we relate to our problems with aversion.  We believe, erroneously, that if we can get rid of all our problems then we will be happy and we can live the life we imagine.

What if we change that relationship?

What if instead of trying to avoid problems we sought to derive wisdom from them?

What is this problem, this person, this situation trying to teach me?  Am I willing to listen?  To learn?  How much am I contributing to this problem being a problem?

If we take our problems onto the path they become fuel for the fire of wisdom.  They become a catalyst for change and growth.

If we relate to problems in this way, the problem and the need for a solution fall away.  The notion of problems and solutions has been resolved in its own ground.  As you learn to carry wisdom as the path, listening deeply becomes your greatest asset.

Use it.

Wisdom wants to be shared.  Listen, and share it.  You don't need to be a sage to share wisdom, you simply need to look deeply into your own life and situation; listen, be patient and vulnerable, and be honest.

Problems present themselves as an opportunity for liberation, an opportunity for the sun of wisdom to breakthrough the darkness.

Don't worry, if you can't liberate the first problem that comes up more will always present themselves.

Treading Water.

Why does it always feel like we are treading water?  And juggling at the same time.

There is so much to do in a day-
work, special projects, manage your house, your family, all the commitments and appointments,
all the email, Facebook, Twitter trends and news to follow-
our day is so full of stuff to do that we rarely find any rest.

If we do find rest, or deliberately take it, sometimes we feel like we are sinking and giving up the ground that we fought so hard to gain.  Any progress that we had made is given back and we feel the need to work harder just to get caught up. 

If we are constantly flailing our arms and legs just to keep our head above water, when are we ever going to find the time for our own practice?  When are you going to find the time to share generously, to make an impact and to do something meaningful? 

To train on the path means that we change all of this.  It is not changing what you do but how you do it. 

You can learn a better technique.
You can change your habits.
You can be stronger.  Improve your endurance.
You might even be able to find a way out altogether. 

Shimmering on the Horizon.

Your dream job.  Or even a better job.

A nicer house.  Better neighborhod.

Less debt.  More money.

More time.

Less stress.

A new haircut.  Better abs.  Hell, abs.

To be loved.  To find your person.

What is it that you are hoping for?  Expecting to come true, or struggling to achieve?

What's out there that is preventing you from being happy, content and fulfilled?  You can see it in the distance, it's right there.

It's a mirage.

Go Back, and Learn.

Step back for a moment, from where you are, what you know.

Take a beginner's lesson in mathematics or programming at the Khan Academy.  Learn the proper technique used to row a boat.  Look up words you already know in the dictionary.

When you approach things you 'already know' with a beginner's mind, you discover all kinds of insight.  You see new connections.  You discover nuance, precision. 

The simplicity is refreshing.  The deliberateness humbling. 

What happens when we use this same mindset to approach our own anger, jealousy or fear?  Our preferences and perceptions?

If we deconstruct impatience, what does it look like?

What are the building blocks of anxiety and stress, is what we already know about them true?

Give yourself a chance to be a beginner again, with your self.

You may give rise to insight and understanding.  You may even feel refreshed. 

Well Trained

As you are practicing on the path, you like to know where you stand.  How is your practice progressing?  Is your practice effective?

The mark of being well trained is that despite being busy, despite stressful situations and surging emotions you can remain at ease.  These things never really go away.  Life never gets easy.  Your practice is simply to allow you to meet life where it is at.  To meet people honestly and openly. 

When you no longer feel trapped by temporary circumstances, you know you are making progress.  When you no longer feel overcome by negative mental states, you know your practice is effective. 

When you can meet adversity with openness, meet anger with patience and meet strangers with kindness, you have a genuine spiritual practice. 

Continue doing what you are doing. You are well trained.