Siddhearta's Essence of 2020.

I am not going to lie, 2020 was a challenging year. In Buddhist practice we often find this sentiment:

Transform obstacles into the path of awakening. 

Well, 2020 decided to just throw everything at us at once. How do we stay present, generous, receptive and kind amidst a global pandemic, natural disasters, rampant job loss, economic fallout, social unrest, homeschooling, and oh, an election year? Chances are you don't. And that's okay, that's why we call it a practice. You practice being present, practice being kind, practice being generous, practice being receptive. You practice and you fail, a lot. 

This year was particularly challenging for me. I lost my father-in-law and two close friends to non-COVID related deaths. One of my regular practices is to engage in the traditional Buddhist 49 days of practice after someone dies, as a way to show up for them as they transition through the death process into their next life. It allows for a natural way to grieve, while also honoring the connection that you have and still have after someone has passed from this life. At one point in August after I had been doing the practice daily since mid-May, I began to wonder if I would ever stop doing the practice. My father-in-law and two close friends died in successive months, and this was accompanied by the many other people I knew through work or through acquaintances that died due to COVID-19. My 49 day practice ended up coming to a close at the end of August, and yet how many have we lost since then...

2020 forced all of us to reconsider how we show up in the world. We were forced to reshape our lives, change the way we work, learn, interact. Things that we used to do are no longer options, and things we never imagined doing have become normal (wearing a mask at work all day). In one way, we have all come to appreciate what matters most in our lives, and we have all slowed down a bit to take advantage of those things. 

Despite all of the challenges of this year, there were still opportunities that came to light. Our Sangha has transformed into a thriving online community, though we no doubt look forward to the chance to reconnect again for retreats in person. We also started the Dharma Conversations Podcast this year and have published over a dozen episodes so far. I also finished up editing a book for my teacher, Younge Khachab Rinpoche, expected to be released this spring. Stay tuned for more details. 

As I look back at this past year, I realize how fortunate me and my family have been and I am grateful that I have such a supportive network of family and friends. It is hard to imagine having to navigate the uncertainty of this year without those connections. Much was lost this year and it is easier to appreciate just how precious and fragile this life really is. I am also tired and weary and would like a break, and I am sure you would too. Hang in there, find some time for yourself, recognize your own needs amidst all of the chaos. Give yourself the needed break of putting aside all the media, the worrisome thoughts and stories. Don't punish yourself with unnecessary expectations. It is enough to be present amidst uncertainty,  without a clear handle of how things are going to work out or when this is all going to be over. 

Here are some of my better posts from this year:

For your practice: 

Spacious Awareness
A metaphor for timeless awareness.
The Royal Seat of Akanishtha.
The journey to the center of it all. 
Carry on.
Exploring mind and its nature. 
Two pespectives on mind. 
Fulfillment, found. 

Pandemic contemplations:

In search of the normal day.
Last chance to share thanks. 
Not doing is hard work. 

Conscious Leadership and institutional racism

"I am not a leader."
I am a contribution. 
#BlackLivesMatter. *Conditional terms apply
Conscious citizens of the world
Model of conscious leadership
Five elements of conscious leadership

Carry on.

Opportunity is formless, without center or limit. It is often hard to appreciate much less recognize the opportunity available to you right now.

So how do you take advantage of the opportunity available to you?

Let's start to narrow the focus. Who is the 'you' that we are referring to?

Is it your profession? That's surely a part of you, but not the whole you. Is it your hobbies or passions or side hustles? They are also a part of you, but not the whole you. All those parts come together to make up your identity as an individual.

You as an individual are also part of a family. You might be a father, mother, sister, or partner. Part of who you are in the world is shaped by that role you play. All the little parts of you as an individual support and influence and shape how you appear and function in your family.

Your family is part of a community. The community in which you live, the intentional communities in which you participate. Each part of you as an individual and the dynamics of your family support and influence and shape your community. How you act in your community influences the world around you.

Communities are part of the larger collective, the cities and states in which we live. Intentional communities are formed around ideas and shared interests that influence and shape the culture and the world in which we live. Intentional communities have much more power and efficiency to carry and spread ideas, resources and values than the individuals that make up those communities. Those intentional communities become a nest for both ideas and individuals. The individual, like the idea, can take birth there, be nurtured, supported, grow and develop. Eventually, the individual and the idea reach maturity and are continued to be carried by the community. It is the community that carries the individual and the idea.

Know that there is great purpose in carrying something. Recognize that your power to carry it is limited but that contributing your efforts to the community relieves you of the burden. Then carrying something brings connection and joy.

Then you can stop worrying about opportunity, especially lost opportunity. Turn your attention instead to responsibility and the roles you play in carrying that forward.

The opposite of egotism.

When we move away from rigid notions of who we are and our preoccupation with the self, we start to appreciate our interconnectedness and our lack of a truly existing, independent self. Realizing selflessness eliminates our sense of separateness and loneliness and replaces it with a sense of awe and connection.

Living out the wisdom of selflessness is what we call living a spiritual life. The opposite is to live a focused on me and mine.

There is nothing magical about living a spiritual life. Nothing to believe or imagine. Living a spiritual life means to be more humble and down to earth, more human.

A life of egotism revolves around a fabrication and a fantasy of the self. A life of selflessness requires that we are authentic and true.

.   .   .   .   .  

Still time to register for the upcoming meditation workshop on Exploring the Mind. See you this Sunday at 10am in Capital Hill!

Lifting each other up.

From the Kosalasamyutta on diligence:

The Buddha said: On one occasion, the mendicant Ananda approached me, paid homage to me, sat down to one side, and said: "Venerable sir, this is half of the holy life, that is, good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship."

When this was said, I told the mendicant Ananda: "Not so, Ananda! Not so! This is the entire holy life Ananda, that is, good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship. When a mendicant has a good friend, a good companion, a good comrade, it is to be expected that he will develop and cultivate the noble eightfold path."

There is a journey that we are on, a pilgrimage to the center of it all. It is a great unfolding, an interweaving, and the connections that we make along that journey are important.

The relationships that we have along the way inspire us, pick us up, remind us of why we are here.
It is not about becoming something that we are not,
but reminding us of the person
that we already see
in ourselves.
And being true to that.

Thank you good friend. Comrades indeed!

Imminent revelation.

There are moments that are always presenting themselves, moments to lend a hand, moments to share a kind word, moments to help or guide those who are struggling along the way. At times we recognize our capacity and resourcefulness and act with genuine kindness. Most of the time, we find ways to hold back and keep moving along in our own lane.

Pure presence or awareness (Tib. rigpa) is completely open, receptive and responsive. It is an awareness in which we are not holding onto anything. This genuine presence places us in a world of imminent revelation, where we become active participants in the ongoing creation of the world around us.

The ego would have us move away from the present out of fear, uncertainty and hesitation. Ego seeks to be distracted or to escape, leading us into worlds that don't exist around us, in which we are further disconnected and disembodied.

In this sense, awakening to greater presence connects us to the fundamental creativity that is a continually unfolding reality. This elusive yet ever-present creativity can only be witnessed in a state of open and receptive awareness, in which the play of the world and beings moves like a dance in the pavilion of space.

We can catch glimpses of this in our ordinary waking life. We all have moments when we are open and receptive, catching moments of insight and divine inspiration. But soon we close in on thoughts, wrapping ourselves in stories and ideas that insulate us from what continues to unfold around us.

Imminent revelation is reality revealing herself to pure presence. It is a tender witnessing of the uniqueness of this present world. Its very nature is beyond thought, word or expression, and yet in those moments we find the words and the actions that need to be expressed.

Of course the ego would not have us be so generous. The ego would tempt us to hold back, to give a little less, to not be quite so vulnerable. "Next time you can do something remarkable," as the beacon of light that is genuine presence fades into hiding and not being seen or heard.

Recognize when you are being called to presence
and when you are shutting down and holding back.
Go beyond yourself.
Step into a world of imminent revelation
and do the thing that needs to be done.

Living truly.

Most of us wander in and out of states of despair, trying to discover who we are and our place in the world. We search for meaning and purpose, we yearn for a sense of connection and we hope for a day when we will figure it all out.

To live fully, we must awaken to who we are in an authentic way. We must learn to recognize and live with genuine presence.

The issue isn't that we have lost our sense of purpose in the world. The issue is that we have forgotten the connection between our presence and the world around us. When we have lost our center, no amount of work and effort will rebuild that connection. When we are grounded in that center, everything that we do moves from a place of presence and intention.

Presence is the missing link. When we learn to embody genuine presence, we learn what it means to live truly.

Spiritual connections are important.

Spiritual connection and engagement is the product of love, belonging, and vulnerability. 

Brene Brown

When we enter into authentic spiritual communities we should feel awkward. Awkward, because we can lower our guard, get rid of the facade, drop the pretense. Awkward, because we can come as we are. Awkward, because we can be vulnerable and honest. 

Your brothers and sisters around you support you in your practice and in your pursuit of happiness. They understand your challenges and failures. They respect your effort and your persistence. 

We all need this kind of connection in our life. Connection with those who travel the path and live a life devoted to practice. Seeking out and building these connections enriches our own practice and it enriches our world. 

Becoming more human.

I'm nothing special, just an ordinary human being.

That's why I always describe myself as a simple Buddhist monk.

His Holiness Dalai Lama

I have heard the Dalai Lama speak on several occasions, and often times he will remind us of this point. It is really a teaching unto itself, a reminder for ourselves in our own practice.

In our own practice, we often find ourselves trying to escape the human condition. We try to get away from all of the pain and suffering, to relieve ourselves of the burden of our anxiety and stress. We can work with our condition in healthy ways, or in way that continue to feed our own neurosis and confusion, that is the challenge of the practice.

I think part of the reason that the Dalai Lama reminds us that he is an ordinary human being is because a lot of people project onto him the notion that he is a Buddha or some kind of god, above it all. They imagine that he is somehow removed from the human condition, that he is different from us.

There is a tendency, that I have often witnessed in so called advanced practitioners, to be above it all. Our practice can lend itself to being the knower of truth, the provider of every solution and the one with an answer to every question. This is a real danger, the work of ego and arrogance. It is something that we should watch out for in our own practice.

The Dalai Lama reminds us that through our practice we should become more human. The goal isn't to become better than human, or some kind of superhuman, but to truly be human. An ordinary human being. Our practice is about embodying human values, connecting with what it really means to be human and using that as the basis for our practice.

Orienting ourselves with human values, our practice should be simple. Simply be present, practice mindfulness and compassion, be grateful and enjoy this life. Don't make things too complicated. Don't be too complicated on the inside, don't have too many wants and needs. Don't stir the pot.

Be simple. Easy going.

And he is a Buddhist monk. This is his job. He takes it seriously. We should take our practice seriously. As practitioners, this work that we are doing is important. Don't be lazy. Don't give way to your bad habits and doubts. This is important work that needs to be done.

Living this way, as a simple human practitioner, we can make a profound impact on the world. We can be makers of change, forgiveness and healing. We can alleviate pain and right injustice. We can enjoy life, appreciate its beauty and tenderness. We can have a peaceful heart and a happy mind.

Don't believe it is possible?

The Dalai Lama is showing us, it is so.

Go for depth.

How many new students want to go deep?

It is gratifying to get new faces in the door. To have new energy in the room. To see light bulbs turn on, connections built, impact made. But how many of those people keep digging for more?

Some come, get what they are looking for and go on their way.

Some come, build a strong connection and stick around for a long time. Years later they still ask the same questions, still have the same hangups.

Some come, and they come with a blaze. They eat up all they can, put in a huge amount of effort and energy, make significant contributions and build up a lot of trust and respect. And then they burn out and disappear.

Some come, and they put in the time and energy. They contribute, their questions evolve and become more nuanced, they keep digging. They keep showing up, year after year. Year after year, they become more integrated, take on more responsibility, are more generous and more patient. Their understanding deepens, and with depth comes breadth and subtlety. Connections are made, insight drawn out. They share, lift people up and make an impact on those around them.

Not every student can plumb the depths. Some don't have the capacity, some don't have the time, some just aren't in it for those reasons.

If you're lucky, you will find a few who go deep. 

Have you read this?

A key aspect to the preservation and transmission of the Buddhas teachings lies in the way that they are passed on from generation to generation.  There are certain teachings that anyone can read or practice. 

Choose a book, read it, reflect on it, use it to support your practice.

There are other texts that traditionally require a lung (pronounced with long u).  Lung is the Tibetan for oral or reading transmission.  It is an authorization to study or practice a text, but also more than that.  In order to receive the lung for a text, you need to get it from someone who already has the lung.  So the lung is a living transmission from teacher to student from generation to generation.  The teachings are alive because the lung is intact. 

The key aspect of maintaining the living tradition of the Buddha's teachings is the teacher-student connection. 

This also goes much deeper.  There are hundreds of teachings of the Buddha and other great masters that no longer have a living lineage of transmission.  You could find one of these texts, have it translated and read it.  It might be an amazing teaching that profoundly impacts your life, but who do you talk to about it?  Have you ever read a book that makes a huge impact on your life or perspective?  You want to share it with someone, you want to talk about it, discuss challenging sections. 

The tradition of passing on the teachings through an oral tradition from teacher to student ensures that the student has someone to come back to with questions.  They have a network they can tap into if they need it.

If you could only read books if you received the oral transmission, what do you think you would receive?  If you gave out oral transmissions of books that made an impact in your life, which ones would you want to pass on (assuming you had received the lung to begin with!)? 

If we only read books due to connections we had with others, would you be advocating for giving as many lungs as possible?   

Just give.

Far down the road,
well beyond what the eye can see or the ear can hear,
something remarkable is going to happen.
You may never know it,
often no one will make the connection,
but a gift leaves a ripple.
It bears fruit, even after many seasons.
It opens doors,
turns on lights,
blazes trails,
reveals a gap,
makes an impression.
No one knows where that doorway will lead,
or who will take it.

Don't wait on gifts as an investment.  Just give. 

Wandering.

We don't wander because we are lost.
We wander because we are searching.

For connection.
For meaning, love, something human.

We search for something we don't have, or don't recognize.  So we roam about, different groups, settings, countries.  We wander in search of connection.

The root of wandering lies in loneliness.  The root of loneliness, love. 

Hold on a moment.

You can also wander out of curiosity.

In search of truth, knowledge, certainty.

Uncertainty propels us forward, keeps us searching on the path.

So why do we wander in and out of various mental states throughout the day, is it because of curiosity or love?

 

Pure vision.

དག་སྣང་
Tibetan: dak-nang
English: pure vision

Pure vision is a unique aspect of the tantric path and the student-teacher relationship. 

As a westerner we approach the student-teacher relationship with skepticism and doubt.  We tend to be critical of every thought, word and deed.  We are used to bringing judgement into our relationships, setting firm boundaries of what is right and what is wrong.  We are ready to pounce on every minor flaw that we see, confirming our own rightness and position.

The result is that we are not impacted.  We are not changed.  We continue on our righteous way. 

In order to be impacted by teachings, we need to be open minded and receptive.  We need to be present.  It is important that we show up ready, attentive, embodied.

We have to show up with a receptive and strong mind of initiative in order to be impacted.  Our habitual tendencies, negative thoughts and emotions are simply too strong otherwise.  It is too easy for us to slip back into negative feedback loops.  Too easy to fall prey to judgement, skepticism and arrogance. 

Pure vision is the process of entering a teaching with a sense of wonder and awe.  It is a fresh, receptive and curious perspective.  When we sit for a teaching in such a way, we actually hear and receive the teachings. 

Pure vision isn't about creating a make believe experience, it is about seeing things as they truly are for the first time, as they are now. 

The basis of the Ngakpa vow.

There are countless vows that the Ngakpa promises to uphold, but the root of all of them is the samaya they have with their root teacher.

The teacher is the source of all blessings.  We receive those blessings when our minds are transformed.  That transformation can take many forms, such as feeling more compassionate, more open minded.  It can take the form of finding one's purpose or finding meaning in one's life.  Ultimately that transformation is our ordinary samsaric mind transforming into the awakened mind of complete enlightenment, our inherent buddhanature.

Transformation can take many forms, but it is always personal.  It impacts your mind and your life.

The confirmation that we have received the blessings of the teacher is that our mind and life are transformed by their kindness.  We have been impacted, changed. 

That transformation engenders a deep gratitude and respect.  It is something to honor and to uphold.  That heartfelt connection that has been forged is called samaya.  It is the basis for all the other commitments that one makes. 

Blessings, transformation and samaya.  They are all linked between the student and the teacher.  The come together as a seed and they ripen as the path, bearing fruit as complete awakening. 

Leading the next generation.

Encourage curiosity and questions.  Create a sense of wonder and awe.

Build connections.  Start dialogue.  Promote conversation.  Give them resources. 

Send them on their way in search of an answer. Ask them to share their findings.

Challenge them to go deeper, see connections, draw out implications.

Ask them to contribute.  What do they see?  What questions do they still have?

Keep going. 

Who's next?

The struggling artist.

An artist is someone who is generous, open and vulnerable.  Their medium is connection.  The result of their work is that they have impacted another life, brought about a benefit or change.

We all have to work with what is coming up.  Something is always coming up.

The artist is able to cut through the resistance and willing to care enough to make an impact.

The rest of us get caught up in the resistance, entangled in struggle and strife, dissatisfied in our search for meaning. 

We're struggling artists.

The difference?  How you relate to what is coming up in your life. 

In search of meaning.

Tibetan: དོན་ 'don'
English: meaning, purpose, function, benefit, significance, substance, truth

Many of us struggle to find meaning in what we do.  We spend our days in busyness and distraction, propelled by to-do lists and deadlines.  We have this sense that we need to find meaning by doing something, accomplishing something. 

We ascribe a lot of meaning to little things that come and go, but that meaning doesn't really stick around too long.  We push to the finish and enjoy a moment of achievement, but that achievement lacks the substance to fulfill a greater purpose or meaning. 

We all have a relative experience of meaning in our lives, the meaning that we ascribe to our work, to our family and friends, to the places we live and the places we love to visit.  But what is truly meaningful? 

I would like to think that it is impacting another life.  Leaving an imprint, bringing about transformation, causing a shift in that person's continuum.  If that were the case, the meaning of our life and work is truly established in others.  They are the carriers, the holders, the substance.  They have names and faces and stories.  Some you have known for moments, some for ages. 

The hard part of finding what is truly meaningful is that you never really know.  You never really know how you have impacted others, how your generosity and kindness has shaped them.  You can never be sure, but you do it anyway. 

Hoping that what you are doing is meaningful is selfish, fear that it is insignificant is also selfish.  Free from hope and fear, genuinely pursue connecting with and benefiting others and the work you do will have substance. 

Worldly concerns.

The Tibetan for 'worldly' is འཇིག་རྟེན་ 'jigten'.

'jig means perishable, breaks down, disintegrates.
rten means to support or rely upon.

What we consider worldly concerns are concerns that rely upon that which is perishable, that which breaks down and disintegrates.  Why concern yourself with that which is perishable?  Why invest so much time and effort in that which is invariably going to fall apart?

Gain or loss.
Praise or blame.
Fame or insignificance.
Happiness or suffering.

Don't concern yourself with them.  Instead focus on acting on the causes of happiness and eliminating the causes of suffering.  Focus on generosity, kindness and compassion.  Focus on being patient and sincere.  Focus on connections and interactions that don't have a limit, focus on benefiting others.  

That transcends the world.  It is beyond this world.  It is supramundane and it can be part of your day.   

Those before you.

Lineage is important.  It is important in many things and it often gets brushed over, but lineage plays a special significance in the transmission of the Buddha's teachings. 

Lineage ensures a living transmission.  It ensures communication on a personal level, heart to heart, mind to mind.

Lineage is most often traced through one's root teacher.  We all have many teachers in life, but one's root teacher is the one that introduces us to our own nature of mind.  This direct introduction to our own buddhanature is what forms the basis of our path.  We walk the path infused with their blessings.

My own root teacher is Younge Khachab Rinpoche.  Rinpoche trained with many teachers in the monastic tradition as a child, but it wasn't until he met and trained under the Dzogchen yogi Dingri Khenchen that he experienced the subtlety and profundity of the nature of the mind. 

Dingri Khenchen was a great scholar and teacher at Dzogchen Monastery in his youth and spent the great part of his life in secret retreat.  He was affectionately called grandfather by everyone but he was a realized practitioner and scholar. 

Dingri Khenchen was a student and disciple of the great Khenpo Kunzang Palden (Khenpo Kunpal).  Khenpo Kunpal was one of the foremost holders of the Longchen Nyingtig lineage and was renowned for being a great practitioner and scholar.

Khenpo Kunpal was the disciple of Patrul Rinpoche, the wandering yogi and preeminent Dzogchen master.  Patrul Rinpoche's root teacher was Jigme Gyalwe Nyugu, who was the main disciple of Jigme Lingpa. 

That is the close lineage, close in the sense that you can still feel their warmth.  The extensive lineage can be traced all the way back to the Buddha through the succession of teacher and student. 

One heartfelt connection at a time, for thousands of years. 

Coursing through your veins.

We interact with a lot of people in our life.  We share moments, constantly.  Sometimes we may share a long length of time with a person and remain unchanged.  Other times, we can have a brief exchange, an intimate encounter, or a timely interaction and it stays with us forever.  

Changed.

It is hard to say why, or how, or even what.  But you see it, you know it in your heart and feel it coursing through your veins.  You have been changed, blessed, impacted.  You can never repay their kindness and generosity, just as the earth can never repay the sun for its light and warmth.  You don't have to repay it; just share it, amplify it and give it to others.