Unconditional love.

We are all familiar with love.  We love our family and close friends.  We would do anything to help them.  We take joy in their success, we suffer in their pain and loss. 

We don't often think of this love as conditional.  If we were asked, we would most likely say that it is unconditional love. 

We love them when they make mistakes, or lose their temper.  We give them the benefit of the doubt.  We cut them some slack.  Regardless of the conditions, our love for them endures. 

But this type of love is also really conditional love.  They are those close to us, those in our inner circle.  They are those that we rely heavily upon and who give us support and comfort.  Those are the conditions of our unconditional love. 

But what does unconditional love really look like?

It is never forsaking anyone from your heart.

It is a mind that never gives up hope, is willing to give them another chance.  It is allowing mistakes and imperfections.  Cutting people some slack, giving them the benefit of the doubt.

People are going to do bad things to us.  They are going to deceive us, act out, cause us grief.  But we never close the door.  We never say we are done.  It's never over.

Keep the door ajar.  You don't need to invite them back in, let them come on their own terms.  But keep the door ajar.

By not forsaking others, we give them a chance.  We keep the aspiration that they find happiness and be free from suffering.  We continue to show up, regardless of the conditions. 

Developing Bodhicitta

Today we are going to talk about developing the awakened mind.  We are going to be discussing the four immeasurables or the four boundless attitudes, which are love, compassion, joy and equanimity.  They are called immeasurable (or boundless) because they themselves are immeasurable and they bring immeasurable benefit. We all have experience of these four attitudes but it is of a limited scope, they result in blissful states and remain conditioned.  If we take these four attitudes onto the path of liberation they serve as catalysts that propel us to the far shore. 

            Since we have this mind that tends to fixate on objects and tends to need an objective referent, that is where we want to start.  Normally with regard to these attitudes (equally they are perceptions and feelings) we focus on the object of the experience, but the quality that we experience can be with or without a reference.  The referential aspect is limited, impure and leads to higher rebirths.  Rebirth here can mean better states to be gained in this lifetime and the next.  The non-referential aspect is all encompassing, unlimited and the cause for complete awakening. 

            With regard to these four attitudes, love is the desire to establish beings in happiness, health or prosperity.  Compassion is the desire to free beings from suffering, anxiety or negative states.  We should differentiate between sympathy which can lead to pity and empathy which is more of a move to act on that compassion.  Joy really means to rejoice in the happiness and success that others have gained, just as when parents are joyful when their child takes their first step.  Equanimity means to have a calm, open mind free from acceptance and rejection.  There are many traditions and methods to cultivate these four attitudes, many of which start with cultivating love.  Longchenpa prefers to start with the cultivation of equanimity so that we have a basis in the non-referential aspect. 

            So we are starting with equanimity because then the other three attitudes will be of a greater scope.  We have all had an experience of feeling at one with the world or others around us, or having a fully present, open mind, or feeling a sense of interconnectedness.  Most likely these moments have been brief and fleeting but we want to try to expand and deepen that experience. 

            On an outer level, we can examine our thoughts and value judgements.  We can look at our past experience and see that people who we thought were friends have become enemies, or enemies have become friends.  We have done things that we thought were helpful but they ended up causing harm, or things that we thought were bad but ended up being okay or good.  Otherwise people that we thought were really admirable turned out to have a terrible demeanor, etc.  We have a lot of these types of experiences, so we should examine these experiences and reach a conviction that there isn’t any definitive good or bad, right or wrong, and then we should relax into that certainty.  We should start small, slowly, gradually expanding this to our country, world and universe.  The measure of success is that oneself and others are seen to be alike. 

            On an inner level, in our meditation we have the natural settling of our body, feelings and thoughts.  As we continue to open up to and naturally abide in equanimity, our experience is that of enjoying in whatever manifests, whether it is of samsara or nirvana, as being pure and equal without acceptance or rejection. 

            The secret experience, or the dawning of non-referential equanimity, occurs when you realize that everything is nature of mind and that it is empty of existing in any fixed manner (think of the continuum of dependent origination).  The nature of the mind is like the sky, and it does not truly exist.  The vast expanse of awakened mind is utterly lucid, like a spacious sky.  The measure of success is an unchanging openness without center or limit.  We have an experience like the waves of the ocean, whether high or low, which serve to ornament the ocean but do not in affect it in any way.  We come to abide in the spontaneous presence of the authentic nature. 

            Next we turn to the practice of love, which means to establish others in happiness.  The referential aspect of love is to establish in others pleasure, health and prosperity.  We also seek to establish them in their ultimate happiness, their own realization of the awakened mind.  The common method to generate love is to develop it towards one’s own mother or loved one.  We then gradually expand that practice to include all beings.  The measure of success is an all embracing love like a mother who loves her child. 

            Non-referential love is great love, in which everything is within the reach and range.  It is the union of love and the openness of being, and the result is a visible pure pleasantness and noble qualities. 

            Third is the practice of compassion, which means to free others from suffering.  The referential aspect of empathic compassion seeks to free beings momentarily from their suffering, their pain and uncertainty through one’s own virtue, wealth and effort.  The measure of success is the inability to bear the suffering of others, like a father who is unable to bear their child’s pain. 

            Non-referential compassion is great compassion, the union of compassion and the openness of being.  The result is a mind that is without malice or vindictiveness, not seeking to inflict harm or dismiss others suffering as only their own. 

            The fourth and final practice is of sympathetic joy, or rejoicing in the happiness and success of others.  The referential aspect is to have joy in others pleasure, not needing to install them in happiness but that they have found it and that they will find it from now until their complete awakening.  We should have the intention that they never be separate from this happiness and prosperity.  The measure of success is joy free from envy.

            Non-referential joy is like experienced in states of meditation, the union of joy and the openness of being.  The result is steadfastness through the cultivation of inner wealth. 

            Next we want to cut through attachment or fixation to the experiences of these four immeasurables.  When through love we start to feel attached to our friends or loved ones, we want to cultivate compassion which cuts through the karmic suffering of the relationship.  When our compassion becomes fixated on the object of reference, we should cultivate joy to cut through weariness.  When joy brings agitation and excitement, cultivate equanimity free of attachment.  Finally, when abiding in equanimity leads to passive neutrality and an indeterminate state, we should cultivate love and the other immeasurables. 

            This cycle of cultivation is easy and leads to the steady development of the four immeasurables.  We come to experience an inner happiness free of anything to be upset about.  People are friendly and you have an inner wealth to be shared with others.  You grow more and more, spontaneously fulfilling the two accumulations of merit and wisdom and gaining the two kayas. 

            When the four immeasurables are present and meet with afflicted emotions, they act as a catalyst for realizing the five wisdoms, or the five aspect of timeless awareness. 

Attitude + Afflicted emotion ======== Attitude + Aspect of timeless awareness

            When love is present and acting on anger (aversion, rejection), there comes in its place a mirror-like timeless awareness that naturally reflects, reveals and participates in the experience.  When timeless awareness is not recognized and we fixate on the negative characteristics of objective referents, then anger arises. 

            When compassion is present and acting on desire (attachment, acceptance), there comes in its place all-discerning timeless awareness.  When timeless awareness is not recognized and we fixate on positive characteristics of objective referents, then attachment arises.

            When joy is present and acting on envy (discontent, should have been this or that way), there comes in its place the timeless awareness of spontaneous fulfillment, things completely perfect as they are and a sense of inner contentment.  When timeless awareness is not recognized and we fixate on objective referents, then envy and discontent arise.

            When equanimity is present and acting on pride (ego-inflation, arrogance), there comes in its place timeless awareness as equalness.  When timeless awareness is not recognized, grasping at subject and object, better or worse, high or low, then arrogance arises.

            When equanimity is present and acting on ignorance (delusion, non-recognition), there comes in its place timeless awareness as the basic space of phenomena, the authentic condition free from elaboration.  When timeless awareness is not recognized and we fixate on the intrinsic clarity of the nature of mind, then ignorance arises and we move away from the authentic state.  

           Through the contemplation and practice of the four immeasureables we can really come to experience them in this way.  

May all beings have happiness and its causes,

May they be free from suffering and its causes,

May they never be separate from sorrow-less great bliss,

May they abide in equanimity, free from attachment and anger.

What's love?

To love another means to understand them.
To love means to see them for who they are.
To love means to support their happiness.
To love means to rejoice in their growth and development.

We can develop this kind of love for everyone. We can move through the world with this love. In this way, we can love friends, strangers and even our opponents.

I see you. I respect you. I can understand your situation and see why you might think that is in your best interest. I might not agree with you, but I rejoice in your efforts to lift yourself so you can live a better life.

What prevents us from loving others in this way? Our own small mindedness. Our own fixation to our position and place. Our own inability to love and accept who we are, much less who others are.

By supporting and growing our own hearts, we can learn to expand our love to everyone. By understanding ourselves more fully, we become more in tune with others. Expand our self-awareness, and we expand our circle of acceptance.

Letting sadness wash over me.

I am giving my heart over to sadness,
no longer holding it at bay. 
Feeling it overwhelm me, overcome me,
letting it remind me of all the pain,
the sorrow and disappointment.
I am letting sadness wash over me,
because the sadness is carried by love.
Sadness at those lost, lost loved one, lost memories,
lost days, weeks and months,
lost moments and lost opportunities.
When my heart breaks with sadness,
I feel awash in love.
This love is overwhelming,
it breaks me and I want to be broken.
I no longer want to hold back,
to distance myself from the pain,
from the turmoil and sadness.
Love is enduring, it carries you through,
it holds you when you are broken,
waits for doors to open and gives you time to walk through.
When my heart is filled with sadness,
gratitude and appreciation arise at every step,
every street corner and every face.
Happiness is a shooting star across a magical night sky,
but sadness, include sadness in your love,
and love is everywhere.

What do we leave for posterity?

Some stories, stuff made, a few worthy possessions. 
We leave a few gems, a few things worth holding onto.
We leave memories, and pictures, and special recipes no one else had.

Mostly we leave the impact of love.
It's love that impacts people's lives, that changes them.
It's love that makes the stories meaningful,
that makes the possessions valuable.  

Love compels us to seek out the stories,
to rummage through the pile,
to hold on.

Love is our last testament. 

You and your dog.

You love your dog.
He is not a project,
he has a life of his own.
Your dog has an important role in your life,
he is there, day in and day out,
through the good and the bad,
through moments of joy and moments of defeat.
You make time to spend with your dog,
you adhere to that commitment,
because the joy and love he brings to your life is worth it.
You may have never imagined how much love you could hold,
but your dog shows you it is possible to love unconditionally.
Losing your dog brings a rush of fear and longing,
because it is a privilege to have this great companion,
to carry the responsibility of caring for your dog.
It is priceless.

Switch out the following words:
practice for dog; and it for he.

Repaying our mother's kindness.

Our own mother,
fed us, clothed us, nurtured us.
She treated our ailments, soothed our wounds.
She gave to us consummate with our needs,
and gave even more consummate with our wants.
She tirelessly worked for our benefit,
even when she was not around,
she was still working for our benefit.
Our mothers have shown us incredible kindness,
a kindness that often never received a 'thank you'.
As children this may have been acceptable,
but as adults we must recognize our own mother's suffering.
We must witness her struggles, her pain and her worries.
She is often tired and alone, age slowly wearing down her strength.
Our love for our mother should fill our heart,
giving birth to a strong intention to relieve her suffering
and to bring happiness and joy to her life.
We should assist her in her health, help her with her wounds.
With a wholehearted resolve, we should generate the intention to repay her kindness.
And we should act on that intention.

Our own Mother Earth,
fed us, clothed us, nurtured us.
She has been the source of all,
giving to us consummate with our needs,
and giving even more consummate with our wants.
She has tirelessly given for our own benefit,
even when we do not recognize her influence,
still she has been there, blessing us with her bounty.
Mother Earth has shown us incredible kindness,
a kindness that often never received a 'thank you'.
As children, this may have been acceptable,
but as adults we must recognize Mother Earth's own suffering.
We must witness her breaking down, her exhaustion.
She is often neglected and abused, worn thin by our greed.
Our love for Mother Earth should fill our hearts,
giving birth to a strong intention to relieve her suffering
and to bring her a state of peace and well being.
We should assist her in her health, help heal her wounds.
With a wholehearted resolve, we should generate the intention to repay her kindness.
And we should act on that intention.

Our own herds of cattle and oceans of fish,
fed us, clothed us, nurtured us.
They have been the source of so much for our benefit,
giving to us consummate with our needs,
and giving even more consummate with our wants.
They have tirelessly given for our benefit,
even when we do not recognize their influence,
still they are there working for our benefit.
All these cattle and fish have shown us incredible kindness,
a kindness that often never received a 'thank you'.
As children, this may have been acceptable,
but as adults we must recognize animals own suffering.
We must witness them breaking down in exhaustion.
They are often neglected and abused, overly fed by our greed.
Love for these animals should fill our hearts,
giving birth to a strong intention to relieve their suffering
and bring them to a state of peace and well being.
We should assist them in achieving a state of health,
help to heal the wounds of the system.
With a wholehearted resolve, we should generate the intention to repay their kindness.
And we should act on that intention.

Our own communities,
fed us, clothed us, nurtured us.
They have been the source of all our benefit,
giving to us consummate with our needs,
and giving even more consummate with our wants.
They have tireless given for our benefit,
even when we do not recognize their influence,
still they are there working for our benefit.
These communities have shown us incredible kindness,
a kindness that often never received a 'thank you'.
As children, this may have been acceptable,
but as adults we must recognize the communities own suffering.
We must witness it breaking down and being abused.
It is often neglected and spread thin by our selfish greed.
Love for our communities should fill our hearts,
giving birth to a strong intention to relieve its suffering
and bringing it to a state of peace and well being.
We should assist in bringing it to a state of health,
helping to heal its wounds and increasing its bounty.
With a wholehearted resolve, we should generate the intention to repay its kindness.
And we should act on that intention.

We, as a society, have acted like children for far too long.  We have taken all that we have wanted and never felt compelled to give back.  Now is the time to recognize the gifts that we have been given, to respect those who have been the source of these gifts, and to start repaying their kindness with our own gifts.  Now is the time to act. 

Time to get to work.

Loneliness, or Love?

Look deeply at loneliness.
Cut away all the selfishness,
the self concern and speculation.
When you get down deep,
deep into loneliness,

You find love.
An unbridled, boundless love.

Your heart aches because it wants to be shared.
It aches because you are holding it back.

Opportunity is everywhere.

Wandering.

We don't wander because we are lost.
We wander because we are searching.

For connection.
For meaning, love, something human.

We search for something we don't have, or don't recognize.  So we roam about, different groups, settings, countries.  We wander in search of connection.

The root of wandering lies in loneliness.  The root of loneliness, love. 

Hold on a moment.

You can also wander out of curiosity.

In search of truth, knowledge, certainty.

Uncertainty propels us forward, keeps us searching on the path.

So why do we wander in and out of various mental states throughout the day, is it because of curiosity or love?

 

How does wisdom lead to love?

The fundamental truth that the Buddha discovered upon his enlightenment was the truth of dependent origination. Everything is born of causes and conditions, and being dependently arisen they are empty of their own inherent existence.

The Buddha's insight into emptiness, or non-self, is critical to properly understanding dependent origination. We all acknowledge the causal nature of reality, causes produce effects. Out of our own confusion about the way things exist, we believe things we experience to be truly established and to exist from their own side. Conceiving of a truly existing self and truly existing phenomena, we get caught up in a web of rigid beliefs and perceptions.

Perceiving the world as existing in a very fixed way, we react very strongly to our experience. Our emotional responses to the world become very strong and often take control of our thoughts and actions. Instead of responding to our situation with intention and mindfulness, we act out unconscious behaviors based on past conditioning.

The Buddha explained this cycle of reactivity as the cause of suffering. The fundamental cause is ignorance, or believing in a fixed identity. To eliminate that ignorance he taught dependent origination and the teachings on emptiness.

A common question, and a good question, is how does this insight into dependent origination lead to the practice of love and compassion?

When the Buddha taught the four noble truths, his instruction for the truth of suffering was that suffering was to be understood. When we understand dependent origination and emptiness, we understand our nature and the nature of reality. When this understanding is no longer conditioned by emotional reactivity, we develop acceptance and tolerance for the way things are.

Understanding the truth of the human condition leads to acceptance and openness. Acceptance and openness lead to kindness and love for others. When our minds are no longer conditioned by strong negative emotions, we find that even in difficult situations we can extend kindness and respect to others.

This potential is always available to us. Wisdom into our true nature greatly benefits us and frees our minds, but it also benefits others and the communities in which we work and live.

Wisdom reveals our shared humanity and practicing this opens our hearts and minds to living with more understanding and acceptance. These are values that our communities need. The world is a better place when we act with kindness.

May I be a guard for those who need protection,
A guide for those on the path,
A boat, a raft, a bridge for those who wish to cross the flood.
May I be a lamp in the darkness,
A resting place for the weary,
A healing medicine for all who are sick
A vase of plenty, a tree of miracles.
And for the boundless multitudes of living beings
May I bring sustenance and awakening,
Enduring like the earth and sky
Until all beings are freed from sorrow
And all are awakened.

 - Shantideva, from the Way of the Bodhisattva

Travel with Purpose

We all seek to live a life of purpose.  You can be certain that we have a precious human life endowed with freedoms and opportunity, but how we use that life determines the degree to which we feel we fulfill our purpose. 

The Buddha described three types of traveler's on the path based on the scope of their practice.  Atisha in his Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment describes this threefold designation:

Know to be 'least' those persons
Who diligently strive to attain
Solely the joys of conditioned existence
By any means for their welfare alone.

* * * * *

Those persons are called 'medium' 
Who stop sinful actions, 
Turn their backs on the joys of conditioned existence
And diligently strive for their own peace.

* * * * *

Those person are called 'superior'
Who sincerely wish to extinguish
All the suffering of others
By understanding their own suffering.

Those traveler's of lesser scope work towards the benefit of this life and a higher rebirth, whether it be in the heavens or in this life in the form of promotions, power and fame.  Those traveler's of lesser scope are enshrouded in their identity and the eight worldly concerns.  We can see this all around us in the form of self-help guides, self-development programs, habits for success, fitness goals and competitions.  All of these activities are undertaken with the intention that they will bring about one's own welfare, that they will yield positive results and that your life will be happier, healthier, and more fun.

And in general it is true.

If you have healthier habits, you will be healthier.  You can definitely 'work your way up' through the levels of conditioned existence.  Surely we can say that we are able to use our freedoms and opportunities more in America than in many third world countries that are under authoritarian rule and wherever you happen to be born in the social hierarchy determines your fate.  Many Americans may not say they believe in karma, but they do live their lives with a full understanding of how cause and effect can bring about better states of existence.    

But we also never escape the cycle of distress and suffering that follow such an existence.  There is no escape from discontentment.  There is no refuge in samsara.  The higher levels of this world do not yield the desired result of inner wealth- peace, contentment, joy and love. 

We have the tendency to think that if we can improve our environment, body or external conditions then we will experience our desired result.  But all of these occur within the confines of our mind, a mind that is wrapped in identity, grasping, karma and negative mental states.  We cannot buy, bargain or work our way out of our mind.  It is only the wisdom that understands the true nature that can break through the confines of dualistic mind.

There are a couple of landmarks to be mindful of when you are traveling with lesser scope. 

The first is that all of these pleasures and joys that we experience are ephemeral and fleeting.  They are all impermanent. 
The second is the all-pervasive nature of suffering within conditioned existence.  When you begin to notice these two landmarks, you are on the verge of giving rise to the middle scope of practice. 

Those of medium scope seek liberation from the cycle of conditioned existence.  To put an end to suffering once and for all.  They rely on the Four Noble Truths and the teachings on Dependent Origination to come to an understanding of their own suffering and the most expedient means to eliminate it.  The goal is the complete cessation of suffering and distress.  It is the personal salvation of an Arhat.  This cessation of suffering is not to be confused with Buddhahood, but it is the state of nirvana or everlasting peace. 

There are also landmarks to be mindful of when you are traveling with medium scope. 

The first is a sense of hollowness.  Even though you can attain a great degree of inner peace and tranquility, there is an element of grace and fullness that is missing. 
The second is naturally arising love, compassion and kindness for others.  When you begin to notice these two landmarks, you are definitely on the verge of giving rise to the practice of great scope. 

The practice of great scope is that which seeks to liberate all beings from the discontentment and suffering of samsara.  It is a path that enacts the Four Immeasurables and Six Perfections, seeking to perfectly accumulate merit and wisdom that fulfills the aims of oneself and others.  This is the path traveled by all Buddhas and bodhisattvas.  A bodhisattva is a practitioner of great scope that chooses to intentionally take birth within the round of samsara until all worlds are emptied, from the darkest of hells to the highest of heavens.  Bodhisattvas rest with ease despite the adventitious suffering of conditioned existence.  They constantly rest in openness and honesty, not needing to project their identity or justify themselves.  They are the artisans of generosity, love and kindness.  You probably will not recognize them as they spread their art but you can witness how the shape of their life brings countless benefit to everyone around them.  

It is often said that those who give rise to the path of great scope are as rare as stars seen during the daytime.  This is true and indeed they are a precious jewel for the world.  But I think we can all see aspects of ourselves in each of these paths. 

Which path are you traveling on?

A Rediscovery

Our culture values hard work.  If you want something, we go get it.  We push, train, finagle, leap, struggle, persist and pick ourselves up again and again until our aims are accomplished.  That is what we do, that is who we are.  

We do this to gain what we do not have, or to protect what we have so that we do not lose it.  

We work hard to get a new degree, a promotion, a new house or the latest gadget.  We push through the day to day resistance so that we have freedom and resources to do other things.  We persist so that we can give our kids and loved ones a future and opportunity that we ourselves did not have.  We struggle to protect them against states of loss and fear, in all its various forms.  We do it all to protect ourselves from fear and uncertainty, from poverty and loss. 

We want happiness, peace of mind, confidence and clarity.  We want to feel love and share it.  More so, we don't want to feel anxious or discontentment.  We don't want to feel like we are wasting our lives in meaningless work. 

So we work hard. 

We are used to looking outside of ourselves to acquire the things we want and to protect ourselves.  We are used to putting in a lot of effort in order to accomplish our goals, to accomplish what we don't have.  What other option do we have?

The Buddha said:

Ordinary beings are truly buddhas,
but this fact is obscured by adventitious distortions.
Once these are removed, truly there is buddhahood.

The nature of our own mind already has the qualities of peace, clarity, natural warmth and fullness.  
Being like the sky, it is boundless and unstained.  It is pure and completely open and accommodating.
Being like the sun, it has natural clarity and warmth.  Love and kindness effortlessly radiate.
Being like the moon, it dispels all darkness and is wondrous, profound peace and calm.  
Being like the earth, it is stable and firm, the source of confidence and walking with dignity.
Being like the water, it is refreshing, soothing and reinvigorating.
Being like the wind, it is the source of all movement and change, and yet there is nothing to hold onto.
Being like fire, it is luminous and warm, providing comfort and warmth.  
Being like space, it is unchanging and all-pervasive, the source from which everything arises. 

So we only need to work hard to recognize the nature of our own mind and to remove the distortions.  What are those distortions?  Confused thoughts and emotions, negative habits and mental states.  They are doubt, fear, uncertainty.  Most definitely we need to remove the ignorance of our own self-grasping, attachment and aversion.  The good news is that none of those distortions are permanent, they are but clouds that temporarily obscure the sun and the expanse of the clear, spacious sky.  

So continue to work hard but do it skillfully, knowing that which is to be eliminated and that which is to be rediscovered, our intrinsic awakened mind, our own buddhanature.  

A warm embrace.

A mother's compassion is without limit and free from judgement.
She is simply there for you, always.
She holds that space open, continuously.
She will listen when you need her to listen.
Help when you need help.
She will feed you when you are hungry,
comfort you when you are sick.
She will never fix you, because you don't need to be fixed.
She will love you, unconditionally.
Hold you, when it hurts.
Wait for you, with you, while you make your way.
A mother's compassion knows no limit,
because she cannot conceive of a moment she will stop loving you.
Such love is worth rejoicing and celebrating.

Happy Mother's Day,
to all of our mothers out there.

Loneliness.

At the root of loneliness is love.

It's love, not shared. 

Airports

Everyone who goes to the airport knows exactly where they are going. They already have a ticket in their hand. 

Most people in the airport have a single objective- to get to their gate so they don't miss their trip.  They rush through security, grab a water and some snacks, maybe take a short bathroom break, but then it is to the gate where they often lobby for the best position in line for a seat they already have. 

Because everyone knows where they are going we shouldn't be surprised that people mostly ignore each other.  Tunnel vision and head phones are the norm.  Give me an iPad or a book and I can sit in the airport for hours. 

The thing is, a lot of magic happens in the airport.  People are leaving their loved ones, joining up with them again.  Kids on their first flight are pulling their mini luggage bags, new parents are trying really hard to make this work.  People are setting out on new adventures, embarking on new ideas, new lives or simply going home to see their grandparents, hopefully not for the last time. 

Most of us miss out on the magic that takes place in the airport because we are so busy doing our own thing.  We miss countless opportunities and interactions because we aren't willing to stop what we are doing and to look at what is happening right around us.  We might be able to lend a helping hand, step out of someone's way or share in a friendly conversation.  We might experience laughter and joy, maybe even hold back a few tears at all the love and happiness that surrounds us. 

In our own life, we are constantly being propelled by our past actions and thoughts, our physical, social and cultural conditioning.  Most of us hold tickets to places we don't even want to go.  Too often we rush to our destination not realizing that there are so many sacred moments to be enjoyed right where we are. 

Open your eyes to those around you, open your ears to what they need.  Open your mouth to share kindness, open your heart to witness love.

When you are no longer propelled to your destination, you might be surprised what opportunities present themselves.  You will also be fortunate enough to enjoy them.  

Tonglen- The Rising Tide of Bodhicitta

The next stage of Mind Training focuses on the development of relative bodhicitta. 

7. Sending and taking should be practiced alternatively, riding on the breath.

The practice of relative bodhicitta is centered on the practice of Tonglen, or exchanging self and other.  Tonglen is an extremely important and useful meditation technique.  There are many different instructions on how to practice tonglen, but the following is based on the heart advice of my gracious guru, Younge Khachab Rinpoche.  This is an uncommon instruction for the practice of tonglen because it is based on the unique Dzogchen method of resting in the natural state.  If you have not received the instructions for Resting in the Natural State, you should seek them out from a qualified teacher. 

Sitting in a comfortable meditative posture,
Our body is left open, relaxed.
The shoulders, neck and face are relaxed,
The eyes are left open, gently gazing into the space before oneself.
The breath is natural- gentle and uncontrived.
The senses are open, free from fixation,
Let whatever appears be as it is.
Don’t fixate- on feelings, thoughts, sights or sounds.
Just relax and settle, like waves on water.
Slowly, like mud settling out,
The mind will become calm and clear.
Rest in the natural state.

In a state of natural rest, one will discover a vast ocean of equanimity, 

unchanging openness without center or limit, 

perfectly pristine, clearly reflecting all that appears and exists.

Having resolved all grasping and fixation, acceptance and rejection fall away,

there are no waves to disturb oneself from this uncontrived and effortless state of rest.

The mind is calm, clear and expansive. 

Within the spacious sky rises a full moon, the wisdom of bodhicitta, 

simultaneously accomplishing the benefit of oneself and others.  

An infinite display of stars reflects in the ocean, 

all of samsara, the beings of the six realms, are perfectly reflected as ornaments,

self and other are equal, there is no higher or lower, better or worse. 

Due to the presence of these two factors,

non-referential equanimity and the prior intention to attain awakening for the benefit of others,

there is the rising tide of bodhicitta, the vast ocean of the noble heart swells.

Due to this self-arising grace (Tib. rang byung thugs rje),

there is a natural outpouring of love, compassion and joy,

effortlessly accomplishing the wishes of beings and carrying them to the far shore.  

As you breathe out, sharing all your love, happiness, peace and contentment with other beings, spontaneously fulfilling all that is wished for.  

As you breathe in, through great compassion take in all their suffering, pain, anxiety, doubts and insecurity.

With each breath, establishing beings in happiness, freeing them from suffering.

Breathe.  Like a cool ocean breeze, with each breath you sooth the minds of beings, bringing them a moment of comfort and joy.  

Rejoice in their happiness.  

With a mind that never wavers from the state of single pointed rest,

all the waves again dissolve back into the great ocean of equanimity.

Again and again, day and night, this cycle continues.

Without ever wavering from the single intent of bodhicitta, 

you simultaneously accomplish your own and others welfare.  

Dedicate the merit of this practice for the benefit of all beings. 

Siddhearta's Essence of 2019.

2019 has been a bit of a bridge year for me. I completed a lot of projects that I have been working on for the past few years and find myself in a new territory, a vast unexplored world with infinite possibility. Even now as I write this I acknowledge that I don't know what comes next. It's the end of the decade, and a wonderful ten years it has been.

To think that ten years ago, I didn't think of myself as a teacher, didn't write, hadn't done any ten day or longer retreats. I had just gotten married, couldn't have imagined how much I enjoy being a father, and had never conceived leading a Buddhist non-profit. What world awaits me in the next ten years?

I appreciate your support and encouragement over this past year. Your questions, curiosity and insight continue to inspire and motivate me. Thank you for your commitment to your own practice and having the courage to carry it into your daily life in the form of generosity, kindness and compassion.

Here are some of this years highlights. I hope you'll find one or two that connect with your own practice and share them with others. 

Understanding what is beyond expression.

Let go.

Give yourself the gift of your practice.

Dzogchen view and practice.

Forging the path ahead.

How does wisdom lead to love?

Mirror of the mind.

Unborn and unceasing.

Conception of identity

3 marks of existence.

Changing the human predicament.

Each and every thing.

Lifting each other up.

A first glimpse at the ground of being.

Heal yourself before healing others.

Imminent revelation.

Student-teacher relationship.

The ground of generosity.

I wish you all a wonderful New Year!
May you enjoy health and a peaceful mind!
May you focus on your practice,
generously share love and kindness,
and may you accomplish the aims of yourself and others!

A Meditation for the Dying.

Death can be a very difficult time, both for the dying and the grieving.  There can be feelings of helplessness, fear, uncertainty and great sadness and longing.  The Tibetan tradition has a very simple practice to help both the dying and those who are acting as their support.

Begin the meditation by lighting a candle, some incense and recalling the person in your mind's eye.  You may want to use a picture, but better is to simply feel their presence and the presence that they have had in your life. 

With each exhale,
send out your love to them,
radiating out joy and happiness.
With each inhale,
take upon yourself their fear and sadness,
wholeheartedly relieving and supporting them.
Exhale,
uplifting their minds and hearts,
giving them confidence and clarity on the path ahead.
Inhale,
relieving their doubt and uncertainty,
their pain and sorrow.
Exhale.  Give.
Inhale.  Take.
Exhale.
Inhale.

At the conclusion of the practice, make additional prayers or recite mantras and dedicate your practice.

Generally this type of practice is done for seven to forty-nine days after death to ensure and support the transition to the next life, whatever that may be.  It doesn't need to be elaborate, it can be as simple as sitting in a park, calling them to mind and sending them your love.

Exhale.

An exercise in love.

From On Being with Krista Tippett:

This tool that I inherited, that's in my toolbox, is right there:
I carve this little space each day for being,
in the me so I can be there more for the we,
and I am now really conscious of how core it is in an exercise in love,
so that I can be more agile and helpful, 
when more contentious moments happen,
the moment I turn on my phone or open my front door.

Rabbi Amichai Lau-Lavie

Hallmark of the Buddha's teachings.

There are many benefits to meditation- increased attention and self-awareness, decreased reactivity to negative thoughts and emotions, the ability to manage and self-regulate strong emotions, and the ability to work with difficult situations in our life. Each of these benefits is significant and important for developing a healthy mind and for being self-reliant in a challenging world.

The Buddha's teachings rely heavily on meditation, but it is insight into the true nature of your mind that is really the hallmark of the wisdom of the Buddha. The Buddha saw that the key to changing our minds and living a life of great purpose was tied to realizing emptiness or selflessness, or the interconnectedness of all things. This insight into selflessness fundamentally changes our perspective of who we are and the nature of the world around us.

The experience of emptiness or selflessness is not one of loss. It is not a blank void. It is not an experience of aloneness or meaninglessness. The realization of emptiness is also the realization of interconnectedness, which is the experience of fullness. There are many signs that we may experience upon realizing this wisdom of emptiness, such as awe, connection, love, openness, oneness, ineffability. There wisdom itself is utterly beyond description because it is beyond the confines of 'this' or 'that', and 'it is' or 'it is not'.

Even a glimpse of selflessness gives rise to more openness and empathy. Openness encompasses appreciation and receptivity, creativity and imagination, as well as tolerance of others opinions and values. That openness gives rise to more empathy and compassion for others. It engenders kindness, generosity and love for others as we move about our day.

The benefit of realizing the wisdom of selflessness is that it awakens our heart and mind and gives our life a sense of direction and purpose. We can navigate the world with a broader perspective and find space for reconciliation and resolution. All of the problems in the world, all of the conflict, opposition, contradictions; they all arise from taking rigid and confined positions based on our own perspective. Selflessness opens the door to a more inclusive and integrated understanding of the world around us and our place in it. 

There are many benefits to meditation, but the benefits of insight and wisdom into our true nature are even more significant and impactful. They bring benefit not only to our own life, but to the communities and neighborhoods in which we live.