Siddhearta's Essence of 2018.

Despite the incredible challenge of our times, I have felt incredibly fortunate and blessed this year. The kindness and support all of you have given me is hard to put into words. A simple thank you does not due justice, and yet gratitude is what my heart feels.

I wish you all a wonderful new year, a year of health and a peaceful mind! May you focus on your practice, find the time and space needed to share generously, and may you fulfill your own aims and the aims of others. Thank you for your kindness and support!

Here's an old poem for the road ahead:

I sit, stand and walk,
catching fleeting reminders
of where we have been
and where we want to go.
Moments of clarity and insight,
of fear and anger and exaltation, 
strewn across a lifetime of moments,
captured in bottles left to drift at sea.

May you stumble upon what you need,
a worn wood inscription,
a chance encounter,
a guidepost on your journey,
a cairn on a forgotten path,
a note in a book you've always had.

Wherever you are,
this battle is not your own.
Those paths you walk,
those lonely and precarious paths,
you are not alone. 
We are out there,
we are all over,
and we walk with you.

Here's some of the top posts of 2018, in no particular order:

An important life lesson.
"Adversity reveals genius."
Working with darkness.
Embarking on the path of meditation.
Letter to a young practitioner.
Letter to a friend (The Renaissance Letter)
You are the work.
Dukkha is more than suffering.
Right livelihood.
Don't worry about the result.
Shantideva on How to Live a Good Life.
Reclaiming liberty.
Mechanics of karma.
Setting the angel free.
Culture of awakening.
FOMO.
Self-loathing.
Compassion, redefined.
Contributor.

Recommended books and podcasts from 2018.

2018 featured a couple really impactful books and podcast episodes. Here are a several of my favorites, I hope you enjoy them.

Podcasts
 
Living Myth: Gifts and Wounds
On the wounds that we carry and how our deepest wounds reveal our greatest gifts.

On Being: Poetry from the On Being Gathering- David Whyte
An inspiring invitation to be more present in the world and to build connections that support that calling.

Tim Ferriss: Dr. Gabor Mate- New Paradigms, Ayahuasca, and Redefining Addiction
A raw look at trauma and how we heal.

Good Life Project: Brene Brown: Vulnerable, Brave and Awake [Best of]
A great conversation about being vulnerable and awake in the world.

Akimbo: On dignity
A look at how dignity and empathy allow us to do work that matters and shift the culture.

Books

The Genius Myth by Michael Meade
A timely and relevant call to being more present in the world and how to reveal our innate genius.

After Buddhism by Stephen Batchelor
This book features a fascinating study of the Buddha's teachings and how this ancient tradition remain relevant in a secular world.

Altered Traits by Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson
A summary of the research around mind and meditation and the importance of lifelong practice.

Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Isaacson
Another wonderful biography by Walter Isaacson. It is fascinating to see Leonardo's work evolve over time and to see what was influencing his work.

Refuge as a doorway.

Life is full of thresholds that forever change who we are and how we live our life. A doorway is one of the most common symbols of a threshold, for we move from a place in which we are familiar into a place that is unknown to us and beyond our sight. One side of the door is the past and where we have come from, on the other side is the future and what is yet to come. On one side we leave behind the familiar, to discover something else as the mystery unfolds.

Each of us is called to be more deeply present in the world, to participate and contribute to the world around us in some way. That call may come from a random encounter, a problem we are facing, an accident or even a dream. We most notice that call when we are hesitating to step out beyond our comfort zone, second guessing ourselves, or holding back from fear or uncertainty.

That call creates a threshold. It presents a small gap in which we are given an opportunity to be more open, responsive and available. That chance encounter isn't a chance at all, because it is how you are to use your life as the journey of self-discovery.

If we recognize that call, but choose to hold back or give in, then we fall back into our habitual ways and over invest in things outside ourselves, beyond our control.

Answering that call means crossing the threshold and finding ourselves on a sacred journey or pilgrimage to rediscover our own buddha heart. The challenges of the path continually present themselves and we slowly learn to set aside our own fixation and confusion so that we can awaken to our genuine way of being.

This threshold that we are talking about, between presence or giving in to the resistance, is traditionally presented as refuge. Before the doorway of refuge we reified who we are and believed in powers outside of ourselves for our freedom and liberation. Beyond the doorway is a world in which we recognize our innate potential and rely on our own experience and wisdom as the path. On that journey of self-discovery and revelation of our own buddha heart, we will find that we need to rely on teachers who have traveled this path, teachings that we can rely on, and supportive companions who understand the journey that we are on.

Refuge isn't a one-time event. Again and again we are called to cross that threshold, to leave behind our narrow conception of self and strive for awakening. Again and again, we rely on the Dharma to guide us on that journey.

Refuge is the doorway to awakening and marks a significant shift on your journey of self-discovery.

Practice first.

To-do:

1. Practice.
2.

The top of your to-do list should always be practice. This doesn't mean that it needs to be the first thing that you do each day, but that it is your main priority.

Practice isn't just your seated practice. The practice that we are talking about involves meditation and post-meditation, or your formal sitting practice and then the rest of your daily life.

Meditation is the obvious part. Pick a time of the day to sit and meditate. Rest in the natural state. Recognize the nature of your own mind and rest in a pure, open presence.

The difficult part is carrying that openness and presence into your daily life in the post-meditation session. How do you work with problems and difficulties that are coming up in your day? How do you engage with other people? What do you do when you find yourself caught up in projection or tuning out? How do you work with hesitation, doubt and fear? How do you act when you see an opportunity to be generous and kind?

Every part of your day is calling you to be more deeply present in the world that you occupy. You can always find ways to be patient, kind and understanding in your daily life- which is why practice is always your first priority.

The work of a bodhisattva.

The bodhisattva ideal is often compared to a warrior. We live in a time in which it takes great courage and determination to be more present in the world. Our culture is encouraging us all to fit in and comply, lulling us back to sleep with entertainment and distraction. Trying to wake up in that world is no easy task, and yet it presents an opportunity worth fighting for.

We cannot truly be deeply present in the world or contribute in meaningful ways until we can get past our own hesitation, fear and uncertainty. Our narrow conception of who we are and what we are capable of limits our experience of the world and what we have to give.

Doing the inner work of uncovering our natural buddha heart requires a lifelong journey of self-discovery. Our most meaningful work is to awaken in such a way that the gifts we have to share are seen as irreplaceable. That is work worth investing in and showing up for. That is work that we can spend our entire life doing, and work that will genuinely make a difference in creating a better world.

To be successful in our work does not require accomplishing some outer goal. Rather, it is to reconnect with our own nature in such a way that we reveal own our buddha heart and have the courage to bring it out into the world for the benefit of others.

Occupy.

We need you to occupy the world that you are in.

We need you to figure out how to be present in that world. We need you to do the inner work necessary so that you can participate in that world with kindness, compassion and generosity. We need you to learn how to use resistance, hesitation and fear as a call to be deeply present in a world of chaos.

That world doesn't need to be big. It doesn't need to be the whole world. Matter of fact, it shouldn't be the whole world and it can't be the whole world. It is best to start small, the smaller the better.

Occupy your home with presence and contribute generously to the well-being and happiness of your family or friends. If your home is too big of a space and there is too much going on, choose one relationship to occupy with full presence and kindness, maybe with a teacher or partner. If that is too big of a space, choose to occupy yourself with presence and kindness. Learn to sit on your own meditation seat with honesty, kindness and openness. Learn to be understanding and receptive to your own suffering and discontentment.

When you learn to occupy your smallest world with compassion, kindness and generosity, gradually that world will start to expand and widen. You'll step into a larger world having already established a ground of presence. Gradually, walls will fall, doors will open and your vision will expand.

This applies to your relationships and your work. When you learn to be open and honest with yourself, you can be understanding and receptive to others. When we can be fully present and engaged with our friends and family, we can carry that presence into our communities when dealing with strangers. Gradually, we can learn to work with difficult situations and people who are creating problems for us along the way.

If you cannot handle your present environment, assuming a larger space will not make things easier or better. When you can learn to fully occupy your present space, your world will naturally widen and you will see where you can contribute to that larger world.

It all starts with presence. Learn to occupy the smallest space with presence and generosity. That probably means starting with your meditation cushion. As your practice deepens and you gain confidence, you will naturally be more present and be able to participate fully in the world at large.

"You can be anything you want to be."

I call bullshit.

This idea that you can be anything or do anything descends from our social theory of individualism and the American Dream. Basically, if you work hard enough or want it bad enough, you can have or be anything. Many parts of this social theory hold to be true in our experience. If you work hard, you can accomplish many of your hopes and dreams. And of course, life may get in the way and you may not.

The fundamental belief of this theory is that where you are is not where you ought to be, or where you want to be or need to be. At this moment in time, you recognize the value and worth of your future self and your future contributions, without seeing the value and worth of your present self and contributions. This idea is further conflated with ideas of gaining wealth, power and prestige. When we can "become the person we want to be," we will have the most to give and live our most meaningful life.

Of course, this day rarely comes.

Our idea of who we are going to be is just a projection. Undoubtedly, it creates a picture of where we want to go, and this picture shapes our actions and choices. We move closer to the projection, but the projection itself always shifts and changes. The result is that we are exhausted and after all this work, we feel unfulfilled.

The alternative is to wake up in the world in which you are currently living. You choose to embody the person that you are, in the world as it is. When we can embody this genuine presence, we discover that right now we have the resourcefulness and initiative necessary to meaningfully contribute to the world around us. We begin to engage and participate with the problems and tension of our present day.

Through our presence and contribution, we discover that we continually shape and create the world, that the world around us is not "some thing" that we simply experience as a bystander, but that it is continually unfolding and undergoing creation and destruction.

Our world doesn't need more people who are going to be the best versions of themselves in ten or twenty years. We need you now. We need you to be the beacon of light in the space in which you are living.

The work that we need is not the outer work of doing, but the inner work of being.

What have you consciously sacrificed along the way?

The path of a householder upholding a practice tradition is precarious. We are immersed in the world, while also immersed in our practice. We are working, raising a family, building relationships, taking care of our parents, while we are also committed to resolving our own hesitation, resistance and struggle.

Along this precarious path, we will need to rely on teachers and companions, insight and patience, as we slowly make our way. As we deepen our practice, we will need to make conscious sacrifices, or else risk things in our life being unnecessarily sacrificed.

One of the common struggles of a householder is carrying the practice into the workplace. There is a common error to perceive the work environment as not suitable for practice, that you must seek out a better job, or a more suitable career that supports your practice. You may switch jobs, switch industries, switch titles. I can assure you all this effort is hopeless. You will not find the perfect career or company for your practice. Undoubtedly, your practice would most benefit from you overcoming your own resistance and fear so that you could be more present, generous and kind at your current job. Right livelihood is to be found by contributing in meaningful ways, not by finding the perfect workplace.

What you might have to sacrifice or give up is the idea that your title is a marker of your work. You might have to give up acting like everyone else, or engaging in the culture of power and status. You might have to consciously decide to not play that game, but you don't have to. You just need to identify what it is that you are sacrificing along your journey. What are you consciously or unconsciously sacrificing?

Another challenge is often how to carry the practice while raising a family or taking care of elderly parents. You could choose to dedicate every evening to an hour of meditation and forego some family time, or you could miss an hour of sleep and meditate in the morning before everyone gets up. Or you could sleep in and enjoy a nice evening with your family, and not meditate at all.

The key point is that something is always going to be sacrificed. We can either choose to make conscious sacrifices based on our values and commitments, or we can make unconscious sacrifices and risk missing out on opportunities and fleeting moments that are often important.

An important life lesson.

The question of where to start is ever more challenging today. We live in a world where climate change is out of control, where we face tremendous ideological divides, and our society is plagued by anxiety, despair and addiction. None of the problems that we face are easy. None of them have a clear starting point.

There is an important lesson that we are trying to learn in life. It is a hard fought lesson and one that we should teach our children as they move out into the world:

The world is more free when we are free in it. 

As we transform ourselves, we transform the world. As we learn to resolve our own limiting fear, uncertainty and doubt, we learn to participate and contribute to the well being of the community around us. As we learn to work with our own tight knots of attachment, aversion and ignorance, we also learn how to be more present, understanding and kind in the world. 

The individual and collective are inseparable. We are the culture. Know that each of us has this capacity to wake up to a deeper sense of self and that doing so benefits not only ourselves, but the whole world. Knowing this shifts our posture. It changes who we are and how we move through the world. It shapes our values and our choices. 

In times like these when all seems lost, perhaps the greatest gift we can share with the world is to be more true to who we are and our unique way of seeing the world. There is so much to be done to solve the problems of our times. The solution that we need isn't going to come from rushing headlong into the wasteland and hoping for the best. The solution starts by being committed to the inner work of freeing our own heart and mind. 

Freeing ourselves from our own inner constraints, we are more freely available to share the naturally present abundance that is the ground of our being.

The opposite of awareness.

མ་རིག་པ་
Tibetan: ma-rigpa
English: ignorance, confusion, unaware, diminished presence, absent-presence (like you are here, but not really)

Dzogchen takes awareness (Tib: rigpa) as the path and that awareness takes the form of pure presence. It is a way of being in which we are open, receptive and dynamic. An excellent metaphor for this presence of awareness is dancing, in which we are responsive and in union with the arising of experience around us.

It can often be difficult to recognize that awareness since it is utterly beyond description and is groundless in nature. There is nothing to hold onto, and so we can never be quite too sure that we got it, or get it. Doubt can creep into our minds about if we are "doing it right."

We can be sure that if we are trying to do it right, or struggling to embody what we think of as 'presence', then we are still a bit mistaken and haven't quite grasped the key point. We cannot contrive or fabricate a state of presence.

It is often much easier to recognize when we aren't embodying open presence. The state of unawareness (Tib. ma-rigpa) is where we usually live out the course of our lives. The state of confusion about who we are and the nature of the world around us. This usual sense of diminished awareness, or stupor, or malaise that we carry through our days. I often find myself reaching for another cup of coffee to "turn up the lights" of my dullness and malaise.

We can easily recognize this state of diminished awareness. It is the struggle to break out, to break free, to move beyond ourselves and the imposed limits of our narrow mind. Do you ever get that feeling that you need to get out of your own way, but this heaviness inside keeps holding you back? Like you just can't muster up enough gumption to actually be present and responsive. I do.

Recognize these moments of malaise, hesitation and doubt. Recognize the holding back and the holding on to whatever is coming up in your experience. Recognize them for what they are- the state of confusion in which our presence in the world is diminished. We cannot be fully present when we continually give in to this inner struggle that is playing out in our hearts and minds.

When we recognize these moments, we need to follow the meditation instructions:

"Let go. Let it be as it is."

There is a gap that opens up. A gap between the moment of confusion and the awareness that recognized that confusion. In that gap is the state of pure open presence. Recognize the nature of your own awareness in that gap. Recognize the state of uncontrived, pure presence free from the confines of mind or mental states. It is in that moment that we can recognize the buddha within, our own buddhanature or buddha heart. 

It is in that moment that we abide in the world in a deeper way, and can discover the resources and utility to participate and contribute meaningfully to the world around us. It is in that moment that we discover that we have enough and that we are sufficient just as we are. In that moment, there is nothing to be added or taken away, nothing to accomplish and nothing to overcome, and so it is called the natural great perfection, Dzogchen.

Of course,

the story does not stop there.
The world keeps turning, and we must keep dancing.

Upcoming Meditation Workshop

You are invited to the following event:  

Meditation Workshop:
Distinguishing Mind and Awareness

Event to be held at the following time, date, and location: Sunday, December 9, 2018 from 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM (PST) Wise Orchid Taijiquan & Qigong 2002 East Union Street Seattle, WA 98122 View Map

Attend Event

Join us for a weekend workshop on the foundations of the Dzogchen view and meditation. Dzogchen, or the Great Perfection, is the heart essence of all of the Buddha's teachings. These teachings reveal our own innate buddhanature in a simple but direct way. Be introduced to the unique Dzogchen view Learn how to recognize and rest in the nature of mind Learn how the practice of resting unfolds to reveal awareness Understand how we stray in the practice and how to eliminate errors in our meditation See you on the cushion! Greg

The wasteland.

Charnel grounds are a recurring theme and symbol that appear in many of the stories of meditation masters and great teachers of the past. It is said that great masters like Garab Dorje, Shri Singha and Padmasambhava all spent many years in charnel grounds after the nature of their own mind was revealed to them.

The charnel ground represents the wasteland that is the final result of this human life. The presence of death and loss cannot be overlooked or hidden. No matter how beautiful or meaningful the work that we have done in this life, no matter how much we have cherished our loved ones, all of us must go through this devastation and loss. The charnel ground also directly challenges this notion of the ego, the importance that we place on who we are and what we do.

The best solution to being in the charnel ground seems to be to get out of it. We want to get away and hide the whole thing. If we don't look at it and don't get too close, maybe it's not going to be there to torment us. Yet the actual solution comes from living fully in the charnel ground and using the resourcefulness of our own practice to dance with whatever is coming up in our experience.

You can be sure that when you feel like everything is falling apart and your world is turning into a charnel ground, you are being called to a deeper presence in the world.

Recognize that moment. Rediscover the ground of your renewal and resilience. That is the essential if you are to learn how to find complete resolution while living in the charnel ground. When you learn to skillfully work with the intense appearances of the charnel ground, you will find that it has become a pure land in which you can manifest your activity and accomplish your aims. 

Stuck.

Many of us feel stuck in our life or in our situation. Day after day we travel on well-worn tracks of habitual routines. Changing directions or charting a new course seems like a remote possibility.

Most of our days we are simply going through the motions, moving from one task to the next. We have to get from point A to point B and we hustle to get there on time. Along the way we are bombarded with news and information, consuming a never ending stream of entertainment. The effort to remain present and aware can be daunting, as our minds are habituated to following after the shiniest and most colorful objects.

When those very same wandering and distracted hearts and minds catch a moment of presence, a world of possibility opens up. Our world opens up to wonder and awe, and we enjoy a greater sense of well-being. In those moments, we may realize that we don't need to recreate our life anew, but that we can meaningfully participate in and create this very life as it continues to unfold before us.

The challenge then, is how to we catch those moments of presence? What signs or indications can we rely on?

Notice when you are feeling stuck. Notice when you are hiding, or scared, or hesitating. Notice when you are anxious or stressed. Those are the signs to look for on the road. When you see the signs, look for the Buddha within.

"Go to the places that scare you. 

In haunted places, seek the Buddha within yourself."

Padampa Sangye's advice to Machig Labdron

"Adversity reveals genius."

Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.

Horace

The question is not whether you have this potential. The question is whether or not at this moment, at this time and in this place, you will do the emotionally heavy labor of being present, understanding and generous. 

Each of us participates and contributes to the world around us in some way. We can choose how we want to contribute. We can choose to be patient, kind and generous.  We can choose empathy and compassion over anger and disrespect. 

Following through on that choice is not always easy.

When we come face to face with adversity- the resistance of shutting down, tuning out, hesitating- we have an opportunity to recognize that moment and rely on the crucial instructions of the practice.

The genius that is revealed is not related to our innate abilities or talents. It is not the result of our actions or work. This genius refers to a deeper presence in the world. It is a way of being in the world and contributing to the world.