Not the result you were looking for.

We tend to spend much of our days looking for something, in search of the new, the better. We would like to see an outcome from our efforts. What's all this time and energy worth? What is the practice for?

What if I told you that you already had everything you were looking for? You already have the capacity. You already have full possession of the result that you seek. The goal is already manifest, there is nothing more to do and nothing to be improved upon. 

Chances are you would not believe me. I must be stretching the truth or trying to pull a fast one on you. Surely I am embellishing. 

And what if I am not being deceitful or egregious?

What would you do if what I am telling you is in fact true? 

I honestly don't know what you will do. Personally, I live a life dedicated to practice. 

Practice looks like showing up, taking responsibility, being receptive and available, doing the hard work of being patient and generous and kind. It looks like trying to figure out how I can meaningful contribute and be of service to others. 

And it feels nice, knowing that this is enough. We don't need a big show for our life and our work, it doesn't need to be a spectacle or even remarkable. There doesn't need to be a grand finale, a celebration for the work or even a word of praise for all you have done. 

Simply this is enough. 

Trust your self.

Trust your self. Your hidden self, the self that knows how you can show up in the world. 

How we show up in the world is not one self, for each of us plays many roles in this single lifetime. How you show up for your child is different than how you show up for your partner or friend. How you show up at work changes depending on if you are interacting with your coworker, your client, or your boss. 

We would like to think that we can be the same person for all of these roles, that we can bring our authentic self to each of these interactions. But we can't. Each person is asking and expecting something different from us. 

So which of these is your true, authentic self? Which is these is the self that we should trust?

The simple answer is none of these, and all of these.

Chogyam Trungpa says: 

The bad news is you're falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. 
The good news is, there's no ground.

We are constantly searching for an identity to hold onto to prevent that feeling of falling (and failing). We are searching for a form that suits us and the image in our heads of who we can be. There is comfort and reassurance in knowing we have a ground to stand on and a position to stand by. 

But there is no ground. Those titles that we have and those roles that we play are not truly who we are or what we do, because we are not one-thing. 

And yet, in the process of discovering who we are, we generously meet people where they are at, helping them in some way. In Seth Godin's new book The Practice, he says:

Generosity is the most direct way to find the practice.

That's the good news. In the process (practice) of discovering who we are and our place in the world, we can get comfortable with the fact that there is no ground, and no fatal crash at the end that is going to be the end of us. When you no longer need to worry about hitting the ground, falling starts to look like flying, and you can direct your attention to starting to learn how to navigate that new space. 

Learning how to navigate life with openness, responsiveness and availability is itself a worthwhile practice, regardless of the results of your endeavor. As Seth says: 

Do you trust yourself enough to commit to engaging with a [practice] regardless of the chances of success?

Spiritual evolution and development.

 The beginning of the spiritual path starts with the seeker. We are looking for something authentic and true. We set out in search of a better life, looking for meaning, purpose, happiness and satisfaction. 

The seeker may or may not recognize it, but they are not satisfied with their current life. Something is missing, things could be better, our life isn't what it could be or should be. For the seeker, the current circumstances and the reality of their present situation set them out on a path to a better life, a better situation. They seek out teachers, teachings, books, all in a search for a path to fulfillment. The seeker always looks outwards, searching for something to latch onto and identify with, because they don't recognize their own inner wealth and potential. 

At some point on the path, the seeker may start to see how they are actually the source of all of their problems and obstacles. Our own mind, our emotions, our hopes and expectations, those are the fuel for all of the challenges we face. Recognizing the importance of this inner work, the seeker turns inward to examine their own reactivity. They start to see that by letting go of attachment, aversion and confusion, it is possible to break free from this cycle of reactivity. Focusing on this intention to break free from the bonds of our own reactivity and confusion, the seekers focus shifts from searching outwardly to valuing the inner work of freeing our own hearts and minds. The path to a better life no longer lies outside ourselves, but is something that we can cultivate and train in through our practice. 

While we may have this commitment to doing the inner work of freeing ourselves, the result that we seek is still off in some distant future. Our focus may be on doing the inner work, but right now we are not ready to experience the result. We need to train and practice. The present circumstances are too tough, not quite right, not good enough. We are not ready right now, and thus the result and fulfillment that we seek are not apparent to us. 

Gradually, as we do the inner work of freeing ourselves from reactivity and confusion, we start to recognize the reality of our mind when it is free of these temporary veils. We eliminate doubt and gain confidence on the path of discovering our own true face. We start to appreciate that the outer course of things, as they are, is sufficient to actualize the result that we initially set out in search of. We start to recognize that this life, these circumstances, these conditions, this body, all of it, is enough just as it is. Having a direct experience of our own natural condition, the result of the path becomes fully evident and accessible. That result doesn't lie outside of ourselves, but is the actual nature of our own mind, embodied in authentic presence. There is no longer any need to fight our circumstances or reject the world as it is, rather we learn to work with things as they are, responding with wisdom, openness and kindness. 

The seeker in search of better. 
Commitment to doing the inner work of freeing ourselves. 
Waking up in this life, as it is. 

Those are the three stages of spiritual evolution, each stage transcending and including the previous. Each stage comes with a more subtle understanding of who we are and the nature of the world around us. The practice grows and develops as we embrace a larger scope, moving from an outward focus to an inward focus, and then moving from a different time and circumstances to the present, just as it is.

The fulfillment that we seek does not lie outside of us, and it doesn't lie in some distance time or space. It is ever-present and fully evident, once you are prepared to recognize it. 

Teaching, leading or guiding?

The Buddha is a powerful symbol in the Buddhist tradition. Any Buddhist tradition will have some embodiment of the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. The Buddha represents the teacher, the dharma the teachings, and the Sangha the community that revolves around these two. 

The Buddha represents the ideal form that one assumes in this lifetime. It is the form of oneself as a teacher, a leader, or a guide. Each of these roles can have subtle differences and as we associate with a teacher it is important that we discern our own role in relation to the teacher. 

A teacher has knowledge that you don't have. A teacher is someone you turn to for resources, insight or direction. A teacher can connect dots and build bridges where there is confusion or uncertainty. A teacher sees a bigger picture than you see, and as such can open doors or tear down walls. It is important that the teacher has some practical, real world experience. Some teachers might be overly academic or scholarly, but not be grounded in reality. Practical knowledge is almost always better than theoretical knowledge. 

A leader by necessity has a following, even if it is a following of one. A leader heads into the unknown, through the woods and over mountains to pave a new trail. Our world and our situation is constantly changing, so the importance of a leader cannot be overlooked. Leaders are able to connect the tribe, set out a vision, build something new, and give us a heading on our journey. Leaders have authority but also recognize and honor the voices of those below the leader. Be wary of a leader who is reckless, self-centered or doesn't lead by example. 

A guide is someone who has intimate experience with the path that you are traveling and has no other motive than for you to travel the path safely and with minimal hardship. They know the best places to sprint and the times to rest. They are patient and tolerant of the hardship one faces, but also recognize the urgency and initiative needed to traverse the path. The guide knows you are very results orientated, that you want to finish, but they know that once you reach the end you must go back and hopefully they can teach you to enjoy the journey along the way. Be wary of a guide who sells you on the finish, or really wants you to do this thing because they have done it. Find a guide for the journey you want to travel. 

You might not find all of these qualities in one individual. You might have teachers, leaders and guides along the journey. The important part is recognizing your needs and the challenges you are facing on your journey. 

Gradual change for sudden transformation.

The navy seals have an intriguing combat motto:

Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast. 

A methodical, deliberate practice seems too slow, that the results you are looking for aren't going to show up. Actually, most often a deliberate and methodical approach produces faster results. How do we best move from one state to another?

An integral part of studying thermodynamics and physical chemistry is understanding phase transitions. A phase transition is a transformation of a system from one state into another. A solid into a liquid, a liquid into a gas. Understanding phase transitions allows us to understand how gradual change leads to sudden transformation.

What is interesting about phase transitions is that systems often appear stable and resistant to change, and all of a sudden the system shifts. Water can absorb a lot of heat and only boils at 212 degrees to become a gas. Water freezes at 32 degrees to become ice, at 33 degrees it is bloody cold water. These systems can be influenced by changing some variables, such as adding salt to water to increase the temperature needed to boil the water, but even with those variables the phase transition itself happens quickly.

There are those who practice Mahamudra and Dzogchen that insist that it is a sudden path and that no work or effort is needed. You are simply introduced directly to the nature of your own mind and then you proceed to gain certainty about that unique state. No preparation needed, no foundation of experience necesssary. To prepare or to engage in practice is to delude yourself into the confused ways of the gradual approach!

There is only one significant problem with this approach: we must start where we are. Our ordinary untrained mind is conditioned by concepts and fixation. We constantly label phenomena and tell stories about our experience. Our minds are easily hooked by pleasant and exciting possibilities. That untrained mind may be introduced to the nature of mind, and its initial reaction will be, "This is it! I have it."And then we go on telling ourselves the story of our enlightenment with all of the right logic and reasoning (concepts) to back it up.

It's inevitable. Fast gets you nowhere.

Compare that with the methodical deliberate practice of gaining familiarity with your mind and encountering the various aspects of the nature of mind directly. You can encounter and recognize the abiding aspects of awareness in your meditation. You can learn to work with movement and clarity in your meditation so that you are no longer hooked by whatever is coming up in your experience. You can learn to bring awareness into various mental states and to discover how they are free in their own place. You can become accustomed to not labeling your experience, not engaging the story, seeing through the thought.

Having this type of experience makes you a receptive vessel for actually recognizing the nature of mind. You're already practically there even though everything seems to be much the same as it was before, because you're hanging on the edge of a phase transition.

Gradual change leads to sudden transformation. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

Upcoming Meditation Workshop: Heart of Awakening

Meditation Workshop:
Heart of Awakening

Event to be held at the following time, date, and location:  Sunday, September 22, 2019 from 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM (PDT) Wise Orchid Taijiquan & Qigong 2002 East Union Street Seattle, WA 98122 View Map

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Join us for a weekend workshop on giving rise to the heart of awakening, or bodhicitta. Learn how to meditate, ask questions, engage in dialogue with other practitioners. Learn the foundational practices for the practice of compassion and how these practices shape how we move through the world, what inspires and guides us, and how to live a life well lived.   No prior meditation experience necessary, all students welcome. Understand the human predicament and our shared experience of suffering Learn how self-awareness leads to the practice of compassion and love Learn how to practice Tonglen and work with the art of compassion Understand how the practice of bodhicitta guides us on our journey of awakening

A simple guide to lifestyle design.

The Buddha taught the Middle Way path free from extremes. In his very first teaching he identified those two extremes as indulgence and self-immolation. The Buddha is encouraging us to navigate life free from these two extremes in order to fulfill our aspirations.

We have all been caught up in the extreme of indulgence. It is okay to treat yourself to nice things, enjoy good food and experience life in all its variety. The danger is that our desire and craving for the new and innovative will entrap us in a cycle of consumption and indulgence. That type of mental state is only satisfied for a little while, so the cycles of craving and becoming move faster and faster with the result being only more dissatisfaction and discontent.

The other extreme is that of self-immolation or punishing ourselves. In our culture of achievement and self-reliance, it is easy to get wrapped up in working ourselves to death and demanding that we outperform all our peers. Many of us suffer from degrees of perfectionism and fear of failure that feed negative thoughts and perceptions about who we are and what we do. This combination of culture and internal expectations creates a lot of self-hatred and loathing. Punishing ourselves is often unquestioned and overlooked, but it is something that we are all susceptible to. The danger here is that rather than meeting challenges and growing, we remain stuck in false expectations and negative mental states.

The path between these two isn't a narrow trail. It is wide and accommodating. It is a life in which we can enjoy the present with mindful awareness that doesn't get hooked by desire or negative mental states. We have a grounded outlook on our life and recognize the pressures of our culture and our internal expectations.

So much of living out the Middle Way path is having a healthy perspective of life. Having a healthy perspective gives rise to a healthy mind and a content heart. Those are among the causes for happiness, and a recipe for a good life.

Sudden vs. gradual path

We can speak of two paths on the journey of awakening and self-discovery, the gradual path and the sudden or instantaneous path.

The gradual path is built on the perception that where we are is not where we want to be. The result that we are seeking is in the distance, not fully evident, just beyond us. Progress along the gradual path demands effort and work. Studying, learning, contemplation and meditation are required along the way. Drip by drip, we gain more understanding and insight.

The sudden path is built on the principle that the result is fully evident at this very moment, it is simply unrecognized. The moment we fully realize the freedom of the nature of mind as our own natural condition the result becomes fully evident and manifest. The truth of cessation is not some far off attainment, we are able to be directly introduced to the unconditioned nature of reality.

The difference between the approaches is significant and the methods of instruction vary. Don't be satisfied until you understand the practice. Demand clarity in your practice. As you clarify the practice, your practice clarifies your understanding of your own nature and the nature of reality. At any point along the gradual path, one can be receptive and open enough to experience the sudden path.

Gradual and sudden aren't exclusive paths. The gradual supports the sudden. Once the sudden opens up the gradual is left behind.

Forging the path ahead.

The path starts right where you are.

You can follow the footsteps of those who have gone before you, but your path is not going to look exactly like theirs. You'll meet your own problems and challenges. You'll enjoy ease and contentment, as well as difficult times.

The journey of self-discovery and awakening is forged based on your own experience.

You'll share that journey with others. You'll travel with others who have a shared kindred purpose. You meet a variety of travelers on the path- teachers, spiritual friends, partners, mentors, students. Some of these travelers will walk with you for a lifetime, some for just a short way.

There is no end to the journey ahead. No accomplishment, and no non-accomplishment. The result is the path. Continue with confidence in liberation.

Clarify your path. Let your path clarify you.

Removing the mystery of meditation.

Understanding the mind and the nature of reality is often profound and difficult work. Understanding how to train the mind shouldn't be.

The path of meditation is very rational and practical. Once you have the basic tools and a working basis for understanding your own mind, you can develop a high degree of self-sufficiency in your practice. Just as a mechanic is able to properly diagnose a problem and fix it, you should be able to discern the quality of your meditation and to know how to correct it.

The advantage of having this type of self-sufficiency is that when we are meditating, it is really just us and our mind. No one has a better view of the situation than you. We can ask questions and get direction from other people, but the work has to be done ourselves. Internal confusion must be eventually be resolved through your own practice.

Learn how to meditate. Learn the key elements and tools involved in the practice. Develop familiarity and agility working with the mind. Based on your own experience, give rise to confidence in your practice. Continue to explore deeper.

Order Now: Heart Advice by Younge Khachab Rinpoche

For the past six years a team of generous students and myself have been working to put together a book from Rinpoche's teachings on the essence of the path of liberation. The result of much work is Rinpoche's first published book, Heart Advice: Essential Instructions on the Path of Liberation. In this book Younge Khachab Rinpoche explores the Buddha's teachings in a way that makes them practical and accessible to the modern Western practitioner. Rinpoche distills the very essence of the traditional textual tradition so that these teachings become meaningful to our own life and mind.

Heart Advice is for students who have explored the Buddha's teachings to some extent but want a firm foundation upon which they can build their own practice. It is for all practitioners of Buddhist tantra, Mahamudra and Dzogchen, to give an overview and context for understanding all of the Buddha's teachings.

Available to order now.











 Some of the topics in the book include:

• Understanding how the perception of the self gives rise to suffering in this life. 
• Examining the two truths and how they relate to our own mind.
• How to come to a correct understanding of the view of emptiness.
• How shamatha and vipasyana work together in meditation to actualize the view.
• Learn about the path of the bodhisattva and how to progress along the path.
• Understand the significance of the teachings on buddha nature.
• Explore how our innate buddha nature is obscured from the perspective of the different practice traditions.
• Learn how the Prajnaparamita, or perfection of wisdom sutras for the heart of all the Buddha's teachings.
• Explore the history of tantra and the significance of the ripening empowerment in the tantric path. 
• Understand the significance of the teacher in the Vajrayana.
• Explore the generation and completion stage yogas and how the wisdom of the tantric view gives rise to buddhahood in this very lifetime. 
• Explore the history of Mahamudra and some critical distinctions between Mahamudra and Dzogchen. 
• Learn about the Six Yogas of Naropa and their place in the realization of Mahamudra. 
• Understand how Mahamudra is realized through the four yogas. 
• Learn how to carry the essence of all practice instructions into one meditation session.

Rinpoche has a remarkable ability to see how all of the Buddha's teachings are connected in our own practice. In Heart Advice, he teaches us how to carry these various practice traditions onto our own path by understanding all of the Buddha's teachings as instructions for practice.

The teachings contained in this book have been of immense benefit in my own practice, and I find myself returning again and again to examine sections and to build connections to new material I am studying.

I hope that you will check it out.

Entering the stream.

The journey of self-awakening and discovery takes many forms. The way of the bodhisattva is that of the great vehicle, with the intention to awaken for the benefit of all beings. It is the intention of bodhicitta that makes this a superior vehicle, because the scope of the practice is greater than traveling the path for your own benefit.

Until you take the bodhisattva vow, you traverse the common stages of the path, known as the four stages to enlightenment. These four stages are the stream-enterer, once returner, non-returner, and arhat. These stages can be traversed either as an upasaka, or lay person, or as a monk/nun.

Stream-enterer

The stream-enterer is said to have 'opened their dharma eye', meaning they have an intuitive grasp of the dharma and unshakeable confidence in the Three Jewels. The stream-enterer has abandoned the first three of the ten fetters that bind oneself to the repetitive existence of samsara.

The first fetter is the belief in a permanent identity, what we would call a soul or self. The stream-enterer has given rise to the wisdom of selflessnes, or anatman.

The second fetter is doubt or skepticism about the Buddha and his teachings. The stream-enterer has gained experience and knows first hand the benefit of practicing the teachings.

The third fetter is attachment to rituals or rites. The fixation here is that something outside of ourselves is going to save us, some ritual, some event. The stream-enterer knows that it is their own effort that will enable them to traverse the path and experience liberation.

The stream-enterer is said to have no more than seven rebirths before they achieve the state of cessation.

Once-returner

The once-returner is the second stage to enlightenment. The once-returner is so called because they will only have one more rebirth before they attain the state of cessation. The once-returner has abandoned the first three fetters and has significantly weakened the three poisons of attachment, aversion and ignorance. Through their practice they have gained familiarity with letting go of the arising of the three poisons, thus having a glimpse of the state of cessation in their own practice. In regard to the fetters, the fourth fetter is attachment and the fifth fetter is aversion or malice.

Non-returner

The non-returner is the third stage of enlightenment. The non-returner has taken their last human birth, and is destined to attain the state of cessation in the intermediate state after death. The non-returner has completely abandoned attachment and aversion, but has not completely eliminated ignorance and the higher fetters of meditative equipoise.

Arhat

The arhat is the fourth and final stage of enlightenment. The arhat has actualized the state of cessation and has severed the cycle of repetitive existence. To actualize the state of cessation the arhat has abandoned the five higher fetters, which are fixation to meditative experiences of the form realms, fixation to experiences of the formless realms, arrogance, excitement and ignorance.

The form and formless meditative absorptions, or dhyanas, are absorptions in the state of samadhi that lack the liberating aspect of insight into the true nature. The Buddha actually learned the eight dhyanas from his Jain teacher Ramaputta after he had set out on his own journey of awakening. The Buddha saw through his own experience that these absorptions lacked the liberating aspect. As skilled experts in meditation, we need to recognize when we are falling into these meditative states and strive to uproot our fixation.

After one has let go of the fetters of fixating on meditative experience, one can fall prey to arrogance and pride due to one's 'accomplishment'. This is the slippery slope of spiritual materialism and is sure to trip us up on the path.

Excitement is the ninth fetter, for at this point one can become elated or overjoyed with the prospects that lie just ahead. This excitement can lead to restlessness and agitation and further delay complete fulfillment.

The last fetter to be abandoned is ignorance, confusion about who we are and the nature of the world around us. It is the root of samsara, the last tether to be undone.

I hope you can recognize the connection of these four stages of enlightenment with the way we move through the four noble truths in our practice. If you understand how these are connected and develop then the journey ahead becomes clear.

Fully understand dukkha.
Let go of the arising of the three poisons.
Actualize the state of cessation.
Practice the path.

Lifting each other up.

From the Kosalasamyutta on diligence:

The Buddha said: On one occasion, the mendicant Ananda approached me, paid homage to me, sat down to one side, and said: "Venerable sir, this is half of the holy life, that is, good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship."

When this was said, I told the mendicant Ananda: "Not so, Ananda! Not so! This is the entire holy life Ananda, that is, good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship. When a mendicant has a good friend, a good companion, a good comrade, it is to be expected that he will develop and cultivate the noble eightfold path."

There is a journey that we are on, a pilgrimage to the center of it all. It is a great unfolding, an interweaving, and the connections that we make along that journey are important.

The relationships that we have along the way inspire us, pick us up, remind us of why we are here.
It is not about becoming something that we are not,
but reminding us of the person
that we already see
in ourselves.
And being true to that.

Thank you good friend. Comrades indeed!

The importance of regular retreats.

A retreat forms an integral part of the cycle of a practitioner's life. To retreat means to step out of the deep ruts of our normal daily life and encounter the world anew. Imagine skiing in the mountains after a fresh snowfall, where we are no longer conditioned by the well worn tracks of the inner landscape of our mind. We see the opportunity available to us in new ways and in a new light.

A retreat is not something new but forms part of an old tradition of reconnecting with what is most sacred in life. What we now think of as 'holidays' were holy days, during which we devoted time and energy to the sacred. The modern day idea of vacation means to leave behind or vacate, again the idea of stepping outside of our normal routine and daily habits.

There is something deep in our psyche which longs for renewal and rejuvenation. Many people all over the world embark on pilgrimages to seek out and reconnect with this sacred way of being. That renewal happens when the unseen becomes seen, when that which has gone unrecognized becomes apparent.

The point of that journey isn't to have some great experience, but to rediscover the very ground of our being and to arrive at the center of which that very journey unfolds. Often we find ourselves reminiscing about the good ole days, but what we truly long for is a genuine path that leads to pure presence, in which we can tap into the wellspring of our own renewal and reconnect with the openness, generosity, and kindness that give our life purpose and meaning.

Heal yourself before healing others.

There is this story that I like from the Snow Lion's Turquoise Mane. The story is about this interaction that takes place between Gampopa and his teacher Milarepa.  

Gampopa founded the Kagyu tradition in Tibet back in the eleventh century. He was a doctor who lost his wife at a young age and then became a monk. He studied under the Kadampa tradition until he met his root teacher Milarepa. 

Milarepa is the famous yogi of Tibet. He lived up in the mountains wearing only a white cotton cloth, was known for his practice of inner heat or tummo, and that he gained enlightenment in one lifetime. Milarepa was also famous for his songs of awakening or dohas, which have inspired countless practitioners to this day.

One day Gampopa was sitting in his cave meditating all day and Milarepa asked him how long his meditation sessions lasted. Gampopa said he usually sat for six hours at a time.

Milarepa asked him what he experienced during that time. Gampopa responded, 

"Nothing at all- a great void.”

Milarepa exclaimed, "You fool! How can you sit for six hours and experience nothing at all? You are suppressing yourself, resting in an indifferent, neutral state- pleasant as it may be. Give up this so-called practice and begin according to my instruction."

Milarepa then sang a song about genuine practice:

The ultimate view is to observe ones mind, steadfastly and with determination,

Buddhahood cannot be found outside, so contemplate your own mind.

Behold and watch unborn awareness, how can common meditation match it?

The ultimate guru is Buddha-mind within, do no seek it elsewhere.

Recognizing ones true nature as dharmakaya,

Swiftly actualize immanent Buddhahood.

When Gampopa heard this song, he was humbled and immediately said he was going to renounce his monk robes and become a cotton clad ascetic just like Milarepa.

Again, Milarepa chastised him, "You fool, don't copy others! Each one of you must follow your own spiritual path."

Then Milarepa sang a song about the original monastic state-

One of letting go, surrender, simplicity, solitude, and recognizing the truth of selflessness.

At the end, Milarepa said, "Heal yourself, good physician monk, then you will naturally heal others. My teaching is mine, yours must be yours. Do whatever is necessary in order to evoke it from within."

Mid-life breakthrough.

To have reached our destination,
to have traversed the path, accomplished our aims.
Just beyond where we are is where we want to be.

As such, we are divided amongst our self,
forever thirsting for things just beyond our reach.

Although we long to have gone beyond,
the journey to freedom takes place right in the middle of the path,
in the midst of our own life.

The mid-life struggle is the mid-life call to being present in the life you have created,
and to put aside your thirst and yearning for things beyond yourself.

We awaken in the middle of life to the way things are, not the way they could be. 

A requirement for learning to let go.

You probably find yourself in situations that you don't want to be in. Even now, you might not be happy with the way things are.

The Buddha gave us a very simple instruction for dealing with this discontentment.

Understand your dissatisfaction.
Let go of the arising of reactivity.
Behold the cessation of arising.
Practice the path.

Understanding and looking deeply into your dissatisfaction and discontentment is the first step. Sometimes, being stuck is a requirement for learning to let go.

Refuge as a doorway.

Life is full of thresholds that forever change who we are and how we live our life. A doorway is one of the most common symbols of a threshold, for we move from a place in which we are familiar into a place that is unknown to us and beyond our sight. One side of the door is the past and where we have come from, on the other side is the future and what is yet to come. On one side we leave behind the familiar, to discover something else as the mystery unfolds.

Each of us is called to be more deeply present in the world, to participate and contribute to the world around us in some way. That call may come from a random encounter, a problem we are facing, an accident or even a dream. We most notice that call when we are hesitating to step out beyond our comfort zone, second guessing ourselves, or holding back from fear or uncertainty.

That call creates a threshold. It presents a small gap in which we are given an opportunity to be more open, responsive and available. That chance encounter isn't a chance at all, because it is how you are to use your life as the journey of self-discovery.

If we recognize that call, but choose to hold back or give in, then we fall back into our habitual ways and over invest in things outside ourselves, beyond our control.

Answering that call means crossing the threshold and finding ourselves on a sacred journey or pilgrimage to rediscover our own buddha heart. The challenges of the path continually present themselves and we slowly learn to set aside our own fixation and confusion so that we can awaken to our genuine way of being.

This threshold that we are talking about, between presence or giving in to the resistance, is traditionally presented as refuge. Before the doorway of refuge we reified who we are and believed in powers outside of ourselves for our freedom and liberation. Beyond the doorway is a world in which we recognize our innate potential and rely on our own experience and wisdom as the path. On that journey of self-discovery and revelation of our own buddha heart, we will find that we need to rely on teachers who have traveled this path, teachings that we can rely on, and supportive companions who understand the journey that we are on.

Refuge isn't a one-time event. Again and again we are called to cross that threshold, to leave behind our narrow conception of self and strive for awakening. Again and again, we rely on the Dharma to guide us on that journey.

Refuge is the doorway to awakening and marks a significant shift on your journey of self-discovery.

What have you consciously sacrificed along the way?

The path of a householder upholding a practice tradition is precarious. We are immersed in the world, while also immersed in our practice. We are working, raising a family, building relationships, taking care of our parents, while we are also committed to resolving our own hesitation, resistance and struggle.

Along this precarious path, we will need to rely on teachers and companions, insight and patience, as we slowly make our way. As we deepen our practice, we will need to make conscious sacrifices, or else risk things in our life being unnecessarily sacrificed.

One of the common struggles of a householder is carrying the practice into the workplace. There is a common error to perceive the work environment as not suitable for practice, that you must seek out a better job, or a more suitable career that supports your practice. You may switch jobs, switch industries, switch titles. I can assure you all this effort is hopeless. You will not find the perfect career or company for your practice. Undoubtedly, your practice would most benefit from you overcoming your own resistance and fear so that you could be more present, generous and kind at your current job. Right livelihood is to be found by contributing in meaningful ways, not by finding the perfect workplace.

What you might have to sacrifice or give up is the idea that your title is a marker of your work. You might have to give up acting like everyone else, or engaging in the culture of power and status. You might have to consciously decide to not play that game, but you don't have to. You just need to identify what it is that you are sacrificing along your journey. What are you consciously or unconsciously sacrificing?

Another challenge is often how to carry the practice while raising a family or taking care of elderly parents. You could choose to dedicate every evening to an hour of meditation and forego some family time, or you could miss an hour of sleep and meditate in the morning before everyone gets up. Or you could sleep in and enjoy a nice evening with your family, and not meditate at all.

The key point is that something is always going to be sacrificed. We can either choose to make conscious sacrifices based on our values and commitments, or we can make unconscious sacrifices and risk missing out on opportunities and fleeting moments that are often important.

Spiritual connections are important.

Spiritual connection and engagement is the product of love, belonging, and vulnerability. 

Brene Brown

When we enter into authentic spiritual communities we should feel awkward. Awkward, because we can lower our guard, get rid of the facade, drop the pretense. Awkward, because we can come as we are. Awkward, because we can be vulnerable and honest. 

Your brothers and sisters around you support you in your practice and in your pursuit of happiness. They understand your challenges and failures. They respect your effort and your persistence. 

We all need this kind of connection in our life. Connection with those who travel the path and live a life devoted to practice. Seeking out and building these connections enriches our own practice and it enriches our world.