What are you looking for?

We are all constantly moving, shifting position, adrift in a sea of change. We find ourselves chasing, over reaching, holding back, leaning a bit too far.

Amidst that dynamic play, what are you looking for?

Are you looking for the right position? Are you only looking at what others are doing? Do you find yourself taking a particular stance, drawing lines in the sand of with me or against me? What if no one validates your position, are you okay with that?

Your view is important. Not your views, not your opinions or ideas.  Your view, what you are looking for, your outlook. 

Your view allows you to navigate change, or to constantly be fighting it. Your view allows you to reconnect with your center, or to be strung out and off balance. Your view can create harmony and balance, or it can create division and discord. 

Your practice should continually try to refine and clarify your view. Really dig in, what are you looking for?  Have you found it? 

When you think you have found it, be brave enough to ask the next question- does this view assist me in navigating change and adversity, or do I find myself caught up in the storm?

Barchay.

བར་ཆད་
Tibetan: bar-chay
English: obstacle, hindrance, cut-off

The resistance is real.

One of our main challenges on the path is barchay. We are constantly facing obstacles, problems, and resistance. Every time our aspiration seems to be culminating, some unseen force seems to be holding us back. 

We tend to label circumstances as the obstacle.  If we only had a chance to grab a coffee we would have performed better.  If we weren't caught up in these current projects we would have been able to help. There are all kinds of reasons things didn't work out like they should have. All of those reasons are the resistance, winning. 

This is the battle that we face. The fight between our aspirations and our reality. We know what we would like to do, but this is what our life actually looks like.  Between that gap is a lot of pain and suffering. That gap is a minefield for negative emotions, stress, anxiety and pain. 

This is the battle, turning Dharma into the path. We have a chance to glimpse the authentic and true, but we fall so easily to negative emotions and confusion. The resistance loves nothing more than prolonging our journey, convincing us to take a break, do it tomorrow.  The path, prolonged. Delayed.  We can turn Dharma into the path tomorrow. 

This resistance, all these obstacles and hindrances, they do not lie outside of us.  Outer conditions only supply the moisture for which the seeds of our own afflictions can ripen.  It is our own latent negative emotions, our own innate confusion and neurosis. We have become habituated to our afflictions, mindlessly succumbing to them for eons.  Now is our chance to break the cycle, and yet we feel weak and weary. 

And so we battle. We fight. There may not be so noble a battle as this war that we wage within.   

Unless.

Unless someone like you

cares a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better.

It's not.  

Dr. Seuss | THE LORAX

You show up because you care, but caring is not enough.  What you are fighting for isn't going to happen right now.  What you are protecting is going to continue to be attacked and broken apart.  What you stand for isn't going to be accepted. 

That thing you are doing, it's not going to work this time. 

Or the next.

And probably not the next time either.

But caring means you keep showing up.  You continue to stand your ground.  You continue to fall, then get back up.  You continue to fail, and fail, and fail.  Birth and death playing themselves out for eons. 

Unless someone like you cares a whole lot and relentlessly shows up, nothing is going to get better.  It's not. 

Groundless.

Nothing is the same as it was before. 

That's difficult to accept.  It leaves us feeling vulnerable, exposed, confused.  It can make us angry, want to fight back and lash out.

We can fight ourselves for years, trying to get back the world we knew and loved.  But we should know that we are the creator of that burden, that our lives our complicated by our own complicated mind. 

It is difficult to accept that things have changed, but once we do it is easier to move forward, to start living in this new world and to start creating the world of tomorrow. 

There's truth in everything.

You push.  You struggle.  You fight back.  You stand your ground, affirm your position and your story.

No one seems to understand.

I know your story seems to be the right one.  I know you know the facts.  I've heard your side of the evidence and your logic to support your position.  It's all relatively true. 

We all have our own version of the truth.  As long as we recognize that fact, that it's relative, then we can keep working and adapting.  It's when those relative truths become real truths that we start to have problems. 

 

What are we fighting for?

The guy in front of you cuts you off, you flick him off and ride his tail.  What are you fighting for?

Your day hasn't gone to plan, your late for your appointment and that one guy was rude.  Who are you fighting?

You've lost control of the situation and have nothing left to do but be angry.  Why?

When people disrespect you, treat you like a fool, take advantage of you, is your anger justified?

In all of these situations, what is your role?  You are one of the main actors in each of these situations, so how are you to act?  Surely we would not be surprised if you retaliated, put up a good fight and vented your anger.

It might be worth looking, really deeply, what exactly it is that we are fighting for.  If you fight for this thing, whatever it is, how does that play out if you continue to put up a fight?  Where does the fight end?  What does our family look like if everyone fights for this thing?  What about our community and our schools?

What are you fighting for?

#DoNoHarm

Elusive.

Connection.
Commitment.
Trust.
Samaya.

They are all so hard to find, we mustn't let them slip through our fingers.  They are worth the struggle.

Life and death.

When a soldier trains, he understands that it is a matter of life and death.  He knows that his hard work and practice may be the very thing that keeps him alive, allows him to take his stand and fight the battle.  The soldier may not know if the battle is tomorrow or never coming, he trains the same. 

We don't have that same sense of urgency.  Our battles don't seem to hang on the precipice of life and death.

But how many lifetimes have we let pass?  How many moments do we let slip away?  How many days, weeks, months and years?

Train.

Train with the intensity, precision and focus of a well-trained soldier. 

What does fearlessness look like?

It looks like loving-kindness.
Like patience and an open presence.

It is someone who continues to show up.
Someone doing the work, pushing themselves.

It sounds like someone who isn't quitting,
who isn't complaining or shifting the blame.

Being fearless isn't easy.  It is incredibly hard.  There are battles everywhere, on a daily basis.

But those battles aren't with the world, they are battles that are fought on the inside.  Battles with hope and fear, pain and discontentment.  Battles with your feelings and your perceptions.  Battles with your mind.

But the fearless warrior keeps fighting, because they know the battle is worth it.  Their practice shows them that it is possible, it provides them with a ground which they can trust. 

Stick with your practice, we need your inspiration. 

I am samsara.

Awake at night, caught up in this hell of ceaseless torment,
the endless machinations and ruminations of the mind,
I am like a boat without oars, strung along by a raging current,
subject to the whims of every crashing wave.
A miserable existence.

Like a hungry ghost in a barren desert,
the virtue of my mind has dried up and
no source of nourishment can be found.
Hopeless yet bound by craving,
I wander in and out of various mental states.
A miserable existence.

Like an animal, slaving after the aims of others,
I fulfill their requests but receive no gratitude.
I am expendable, replaceable.
My worth is measured out to me by by weight alone,
once I've carried my weight and they have had their lot,
they'll do with me as they please.
A miserable existence.

Like a human, I deserve to be recognized for my worth,
I have endured the hardship of my present circumstances,
in order to secure the benefit of my family and future.
I long to be free from this discontentment,
to be honored for my achievements with dignity,
to gain freedom and the peace of happiness.

Like a demigod, I'll fight for my position,
mine is the path of the virtuous and just,
Victory shall be mine and I will suffer no fools,
I will show you.

Like a god, procuring every advantage and truth
from the grand palace of my own position,
I am right.  I am right.

I am right.  As I wander off to sleep.

I am samsara, the cycle of existence.  Samsara is me.

Pray that I awake from this cycle of delusion and ignorance.

The Plague of Indifference.

We are suffering from one of the worst epidemics in recent human history.  It has the potential to spread to every corner of the land and to infect every person.  It leaves its victims lifeless, like wandering zombies.

It is the plague of indifference.

It strikes those who care.  Those that are trying to make a difference, to bring benefit to others.  It has a slow onset, germinating in those who time and time again go the extra mile.  It reproduces and gains its strength as kindness and generosity are taken advantage of, exploited and disrespected.

The infection starts to display signs and symptoms as the victim gets worn out, angry at themselves for trying so hard and for caring so much.  They may feel guilty for wanting to help others, for repeating this cycle again and again only to end up in states of loss.

The infection has reached its full measure when the victim no longer cares, when they just go through the motions and do what they are told.

One remedy for this infection is to show appreciation and respect to those who aren't infected.  To rejoice in their efforts.  This remedy can delay or offset the progression of the disease, but it is not necessarily a cure.

The only cure is to protect your own mind, and the only way to do that is to cultivate bodhicitta, the awakened mind.  It is only by cultivating bodhicitta that you can bear the burden of unpleasant and painful circumstances.  It is only by cultivating bodhicitta that you can abandon your own susceptibility to 'woe is me'.

One who cultivates bodhicitta is a bodhisattva, a courageous awakened warrior.

They don't fight others, they fight to establish them in peaceful, happy states.
They fight to bring them benefit.

They fight for those who care, and to help those who don't to regain their purpose.

It is a battle worth fighting for.

As it states in the Heart Sutra:

There is no attainment, and even no non-attainment.  Therefore, Shariputra, since bodhisattvas have no attainments, they rely on this perfection of wisdom and abide in it.  Having no obscurations in their minds, they have no fear, and by going utterly beyond error, they will reach the end of nirvana.