Compassion, redefined.

I have spent a lot of time leading meditation workshops and discussions about compassion. Most people tend to focus on the action of compassion. Compassion means helping the homeless, feeding the hungry, tending to the sick. Compassion means doing. If you take the action out, then somehow compassion seems to fall away.

This type of compassion is results focused. It needs to demonstrate an impact. No impact, no meaning.

The Buddha taught this type of compassion as 'normal' compassion. This is the type of compassion that we have for our friends and family, and even to strangers in times of crisis or shared humanity. We see this type of compassion in certain mammals, this natural instinct to take care and nurture our loved ones for our own welfare and survival.

When we are trying to cultivate compassion in meditation, we are trying to cultivate unconditional compassion. This is compassion that is objectless and unbiased. For this type of unconditional compassion, we need a new definition of compassion.

Unconditional compassion is open, available and responsive.

It is open- receptive, accommodating, vulnerable.
It is available- present, alert, attentive.
It is responsive- dynamic, engaged, attuned.

Unconditional compassion is focused on being, not doing. Being open, available and responsive, we can offer others our attention and understanding, we can acknowledge the pain and suffering they are going through, we can stay with them through struggle and strife. Embodying this unconditional compassion, we can offer others our warmth, kindness and generosity, or we can simply be present, listen, and witness.

"I see you" and "I hear you" can be more powerful than offering a solution. Compassion doesn't always need to have an answer, we don't always need to provide a fix. Sometimes offering others dignity and understanding are enough.

We can learn to rest in a state of openness, availability and responsiveness. We can learn to rest in unbiased equanimity, allowing ourselves to witness our own pain and the suffering of others. We can learn to be patient with adversity and ugliness, to witness rather than react, to embrace rather than reject.

And we can learn to carry this openness, availability and responsiveness off the cushion. We can carry it into our homes, our communities and into the world. We can walk with openness, be present and available in the world, and respond and engage with the way things are.

How does a raccoon satisfy its thirst?

I love this video.  It's hilarious.

This raccoon is confused.

Not knowing the nature of water, he hopes to grab onto it, hold it in his hands.  Of course that water keeps slipping through his fingers, and the cute little thing is in a frenzy to keep trying.

What he doesn't know is that if you want to hold water in your hands you need to be skillful.  Then you can drink the water, feel its refreshing nature, enjoy it and quench your thirst.

How often do we feel like life is slipping through our fingers?  Like we lost an opportunity and now it is gone?  How often do we find ourselves in a frenzy, trying to accomplish our aims and hoping that this is the time we are finally satisfied?

In order to take hold of our life we need to be skillful.  We need to create a container that can accommodate something that always keeps rushing past us.

We need attentive mindfulness.
Authentic presence.
Clarity and understanding.
Empathy and compassion.
Patience.  Patience is a must.
An open mind and unbiased attitude.

Most of all we need to stop the impulse to grab onto things.  That is where so much of our confusion springs from, from grasping and fixation.  When we understand the nature of our own mind and the nature of reality, we can skillfully work with that in order to quench our thirst, find satisfaction.

Being awake doesn't mean that we become awake to some kind of better reality, or our life becomes the fairy tale and everything goes our way.  Being awake means to see genuinely.  Truly.  You awaken to the truth.  You see your mind and reality as it is, and knowing that there is nothing to hold onto, you can use skillful methods to accomplish your aims and the aims of others.

Stop the confusion. 

Link to the video is here.