Last chance to share thanks.

Working in a community pharmacy, you get used to the presence of death in the community you serve. You see obituaries of elderly persons you have been coming to your pharmacy for years. You serve cancer patients for months or years and then one day they just stop coming in. Weeks or months later you might hear from a family member or neighbor that they have passed away. We get voicemails in the middle of the night, letting us know that someone has passed away. Hospice calls. Doctors call to share the news. Young husbands and wives stop by to share the news that their spouse has died unexpectedly. You hear parents sharing stories of their kids dying due to accidents or health complications. Death is ever-present and there is no right time or right circumstance. Death is certain, but the time of death is uncertain.

This weekend, one of our long time elderly patients called to thank us for our years of service. He had been diagnosed with the coronavirus and the prognosis was not good. He was quarantined in isolation and he wanted to pass along his thanks while he still had the chance.

We are facing what could be one of the largest pandemics in modern history. Many will die, and they will die in isolation, separated from their family and friends at the moment of death.

We all must set out on the journey of death and dying alone. Where we are setting off to none can follow. Being prepared for that journey is important. Coming to terms with death is never easy, but the more open we can be to the presence of death in our lives, the easier it is to be grateful and share thanks while we still have the chance.

Take some time to reach out to your elderly friends and relatives. Call your neighbor, see how they are doing. We are all facing some challenging weeks and months ahead, but the elderly are especially worried and at significant risk.

You never know when it is your last chance to give thanks.

Learning to navigate life and death.

Our days seem to be ruled by disorder and chaos. Our culture is one in which we are constantly busy in the search of becoming and being something other, continuously moving away from the present and away from ourselves in search of something better.

The world around us seems to be coming apart, and yet there is a marked sense of creation and emergent potential. All around us we see the effects of change, based on an evolution of values, tastes and desires.

Navigating this chaos and disorder can be overwhelming. Every time we think we have made progress or found a firm footing, the ground underneath us changes and moves. At one time the world changed slowly, generation after generation living much the same. Now things seem to change by the days and weeks with no 'catching up' in sight. In an effort to be more present in our lives, we struggle against ourselves and find time slipping away. No matter how much we fight against the tides of change, there is nothing to hold onto and all we are left with is fear and uncertainty about the future, our future, the future of the world and the future of humanity. In the face of change and disorder, what will we, it, and I become?

In Tibetan, we find this word bardo (Tib. བར་དོ་), which is often translated as intermediate state. Usually we talk about the bardo as the transition state between this life and the next, the liminal space of the afterlife. The bardo is an in-between state, a threshold between one state and the next. In a sense, we can understand the bardo as a doorway, in which we cross over from one life into the next. We let go of the old world, the one that we knew, and step into the new and unseen.

As a threshold, the bardo represents a liminal state in which subliminal conditioning creates our experience. This in-between state of the afterlife is simply the mind experiencing itself, or the mind experiencing its appearances. Much like a dream, we have little control over what is appearing to the mind in the bardo. Taking these appearances as our reality, we get caught up in the throes of mind and end up in a powerless and fearful state. Powerless because we have no control.

Having not trained in understanding how the mind works and how the contents of our experience are not in fact the 'self', we have no choice but to suffer the bardo. In this case, we will desparately be looking for a way out, not being particularly intentional about the conditions or motivations for our next life or the next form our life takes.

The bardo is commonly understood this way in Tibetan Buddhism, but there are actually six bardos (or liminal spaces) that we can experience: 1) the liminal space of this life (from birth to death), 2) the liminal space of dreams, 3) the liminal space of meditative absorption, 4) the liminal space of dying (from last breath to dawning of luminosity), 5) the liminal space of the luminous true nature of reality, 6) the liminal space of becoming (taking on new life form).

The essence of the bardo is this liminal, in-between state; between birth and death, waking and sleeping, inhaling and exhaling, destruction and creation, becoming and being. If you take a close look at time, you will find time itself is liminal space, between one moment and then next. As we learn to spend time in this liminal state, the bardo of the ever-present reality, we have an opportunity to break free from the machinations of mind and our experience. We have an opportunity to encounter timelessness, the eternal now of the continuously unfolding present.

In this liminal state of lucid, open presence, you experience the body, but know you are not the body. If your body changes somehow, 'you' don't change with it. There is some aspect of 'you' that is not your body. You experience sensations, but know an aspect of awareness that is not those sensations. Sensations are an object of your awareness. You might notice your perception of things, but know you are not your perception. You encounter thoughts and ideas, but know you are not your thoughts and ideas. You encounter the five senses, but know you are not those experiences of the five senses.

As lucid, open presence, you witness the contents of your experience, but know 'you' are not the contents of your experience. Amidst a sea of change, you are discovering the ground of being. But the real question is, who is this 'you'? If you look for it, where can you find it? Any chance to grab hold of this elusive 'self' results in not finding anything to hold onto. The mind as clear awareness is like water running through your fingers, there is an experience of mind but nothing to hold onto.

When we have certainty that there is nothing to find, nothing to hold onto, nothing to call 'our own', then we simply rest with that ever-present clear awareness. This is the ground from which we can reorient ourselves and choose our way forward. No longer overwhelmed by the subliminal contents appearing in your experience, you are able to respond to the ever unfolding reality rather than react out of habits and conditioning. This ever-present awareness is a vehicle for navigating the bardo of this life, the bardo of death, and the bardo of this moment. It is the basis for participating in the creation of the world, of dancing in the eternal now between the world falling apart around us and the one emerging through our individual and collective actions.

There is no awakening within the bounds of time. We awaken to eternally present clear awareness in the luminous liminal space of the true nature of reality. Furthermore, there is no one who is awakened. There is only lucid, open presence on the threshold of being, in which there is a perpetual letting go and stepping into.

This is how to navigate life and death.

Your corpse will be beautiful.

You have lived well. 

You've eaten healthy foods.  Enjoyed a disciplined diet.  You have exercised and maintained a fit physique.  Your skin is vibrant, your teeth a brilliant white.  Your hair is always well groomed and trimmed.  Your style, well, it's you.

You can be sure about one thing-

Your corpse will be beautiful.  

I know this life will come to pass.

Morning dew beneath your toes.
Light rays of sunshine, illuminating worlds.
Gentle breeze, rustling leaves.
Drip by drip,
Deep pools of samadhi.
A slow meandering walk, going nowhere,
holding hands,
big step, another step.
Way to go.
A smile, a glance, a friendly wave.
Doors open.
Off to work, working,
hurried, intense, what am I forgetting?
Panting dog, a warm cuddle.
Engine roars, silence.
Excitement, laughs,
tending, caring, picking up the pieces.
Holding, waiting,
there you go.
Rising moon.
Moments lasting eons,
hours gone in a flash.
Coming, going,
unceasing.
Inhale.  Exhale.

I know this life will come to pass.

A garland of lives.

The continuum of lives is neither one nor many.
Manifold expressions arise in all their diversity
from the single sphere of original purity.

Own it.

What are you?

Angry.
Tired.
Scared.
Stuck.
In pain.
Disappointed.
Suffering.
Unfulfilled.
Happy.
Content.
Anxious.
Sad.
Uncertain.
Sick.
Dying.

Good.  Own it.

Now you know where to start your practice.

Five Elements Yoga.

The ancient wisdom traditions are all connected to the concept of working with the elements.  Man and nature are intimately intertwined and their deep insight into that nature evokes a strong connection with the world around them.  The five elements are earth, water, fire, wind and space.  This may seem like an archaic and primitive understanding of the universe, but let's look at the manifestation of these five elements.

External world
We are all familiar with the qualities of the elements in the phenomenal world.  Earth is solid, water is fluid and cohesive, fire is radiant and hot, wind/air is constantly moving even when not apparent, and space is the container in which all of this plays itself out.  Each of these can be further examined in terms of their characteristics and qualities as far as the mind can elaborate.  

Physical Matter
Solid, liquid, heat and gas.  We are all familiar with the physical properties of matter from elementary school.  Earth is solid, water is liquid, fire is heat and wind is gas.  Of course don't forget space which accommodates all of these states.  The interesting thing here is that we start to see that all of these five elements are present in one element- water.  Ice has more earth properties, water is water and water vapor is the wind element.  All of these states manifest based on the amount of heat or fire in the system, which itself is contained by space.  So if this is true for water, what about iron? 

Atomic Particles
Let's look at an atom.  Earth is the nucleus, water is the chemical bonds that creates a sense of cohesion, fire is the heat or energy of the system and wind is the constant movement of the atom.   Space pervades the entire particle.  You are probably better at quantum physics than I am, so please explore deeper. 

Our own bodies
Our own bodies are composed of physical matter, earth.  Of course we are 70% water, blaze with the heat of the fire element at 98.6' F, are 100% energy (wind) and 99% space (may need to check my math).  Much of Ayurveda and traditional Chinese medicine is based on the balance of the five elements and how imbalances effect the rest of the system.  Interesting stuff if you like to read. 

Personal experience
We all have experience feeling grounded, a predominance of the earth element.  With the water element we feel connected, experience a deep sense of peace and calm.  Fire is creative, an inner radiance and intuition.  Wind is thoughts and concepts.  Space is all-pervasive.  Too much earth and we feel heavy and tired.  Too much water and we are emotional wrecks.  Too much fire and we get angry and hot tempered.  Too much wind and we are agitated and restless.  Too much space and we are, well, spaced out.  

Meditation
All five elements are naturally present in our own awareness.  With the earth element we discover a natural meditative stability.  The water element is a calm and peaceful mind.  The fire element is an inner radiance and clarity.  The wind element is movement even within stillness.  The space element is the expanse of awareness without center or limit.  

Dissolution
When the elements dissolve, either in our meditation or at the time of death, we can recognize their dissolution which serves as markers on the path.  Earth dissolves into water and appearances have a mirage-like quality.  Water dissolves into fire and we experience wafts of smoke-like images.  Fire dissolves into wind and we experience firefly-like appearances.  Wind dissolves into space and we experience the clear light nature of mind, an innate calm and utterly lucid awareness like the deep blue sky just before sunrise.  Rest in that state.  

Death
We should become familiar with the dissolution of the physical elements at the time of death, both concerning our own death and also supporting our loved ones as they set out on the journey.  The dissolution of the earth element is marked by losing your strength and outer movements.  The dissolution of water is when the saliva and urine is no longer produced, the body becomes dry and water is no longer accepted or needed.  The dissolution of fire is when the heat of the body recedes to the heart center, the body slowly continuing its process of shutting down.  The dissolution of wind is the gradual slowing of the inhale and exhale, leading up to the final breath as a long exhale.  It is important not to disturb the body at this time, because the person is starting to experience the inner dissolution of the elements leading up to and culminating in the clear light nature of mind.  Their ability to recognize and abide in that nature of mind determines their next rebirth, if they become swept away in appearances or remorse the winds of karma will start to stir and helplessly propel you along on your journey.  This is why it is important to practice and familiarize yourself with these five elements in this life, when you can still act of your own volition.

The practice of the five elements is a very simple and pragmatic way of understanding our world and our own experience.  It orients you with a bigger picture and makes the complex approachable.  Orienting yourself in this way, you can continue to investigate and elaborate on your understanding to the extent that the mind can reach, a true psychonaut. 

As long as the mind exists, their is no limit to the extent of space.   

A Meditation for the Dying.

Death can be a very difficult time, both for the dying and the grieving.  There can be feelings of helplessness, fear, uncertainty and great sadness and longing.  The Tibetan tradition has a very simple practice to help both the dying and those who are acting as their support.

Begin the meditation by lighting a candle, some incense and recalling the person in your mind's eye.  You may want to use a picture, but better is to simply feel their presence and the presence that they have had in your life. 

With each exhale,
send out your love to them,
radiating out joy and happiness.
With each inhale,
take upon yourself their fear and sadness,
wholeheartedly relieving and supporting them.
Exhale,
uplifting their minds and hearts,
giving them confidence and clarity on the path ahead.
Inhale,
relieving their doubt and uncertainty,
their pain and sorrow.
Exhale.  Give.
Inhale.  Take.
Exhale.
Inhale.

At the conclusion of the practice, make additional prayers or recite mantras and dedicate your practice.

Generally this type of practice is done for seven to forty-nine days after death to ensure and support the transition to the next life, whatever that may be.  It doesn't need to be elaborate, it can be as simple as sitting in a park, calling them to mind and sending them your love.

Exhale.

Impermanence

The second preliminary is the contemplation on impermanence.  The key point is that all conditioned phenomena are impermanent.

There are several implications to consider when contemplating impermanence.  First is the impermanence of the outer world.  No matter where we look we cannot find anything permanent or lasting.  Our environment composed of mountains, lakes and trees is constantly changing.  The beings that live in the world are constantly undergoing birth, aging, sickness and death.  No matter where we look, high or low, nothing permanent or lasting can be found.

Second, we can examine the inner world- our own life, body, thoughts and feelings.  When we look closely, we cannot find anything that withstands the test of time.  Our body undergoes many changes throughout life, our thoughts come and go like a never ending movie, our feelings constantly rise and fall like the tide.  Whether our experiences are pleasant or not, they come and go leaving only a faint memory similar to last nights dream. 

People often say, 'I cannot believe how fast this month/ year has gone.'  It is quite strange that even though we notice how quickly life passes us by, they do not apply it to their future.  We stand with our mouths agape at how fast the past ten years have went, what about the next ten?  Do you think they are going to slow down?   This life is like a water bubble, clearly apparent for a moment but vanishing in an instant. 

The third implication to consider is the faults of permanence.  We often consider phenomena, whether that of the outer world or the inner world, to possess an identify of their own.  We think that they really truly exist from their own side.  We tend to fixate on notions of self and other, mine and yours, right and wrong.  It is this fixation that then leads to fear, stress, anxiety, anger and attachment.  

When we understand the impermanence of the outer and inner world as well as the faults of permanence, we can come to embrace a larger scope, which is that if everything is impermanent then change is possible.  We often feel stuck- in situations, work, feelings and thoughts.  When we contemplate on impermanence we gain certainty that nothing is fixed, that while things may seem very solid at the time it is really just our mistaken perception.  By loosening our fixation on identity, we come to eliminate the extreme and faults of permanence.  We come to appreciate the larger scope, that reality is dynamic, flexible, a vast web of dependent origination. 

We then come to the decisive experience of impermanence.  By not getting caught up in the dynamic display of the environment or beings, we come to discover the fundamental ground of being, the true nature of reality which is unchanging.  Having never existed as anything whatsoever, it manifests in any way at all.  All that appears and exists within samsara and nirvana is nothing but an ornament of awareness, the unceasing play of dependent origination that is utterly beyond speech, thought or expression.  Life opens itself to an endless dance of creative display.  Our minds, free from fixation, come to appreciate and rejoice in experience rather than being bound by it. 

While there is uncertainty as to the time of death, death is certain so we must realize our true nature now.  For too long we have thought we had so much time, but now the sun is setting and life has run its course.  We have no time left to practice, our body is growing old and weak, our mind frail. 

Life is a passing glance of possibility.  Do we act or not?  Seize the moment!