Lifting each other up.

From the Kosalasamyutta on diligence:

The Buddha said: On one occasion, the mendicant Ananda approached me, paid homage to me, sat down to one side, and said: "Venerable sir, this is half of the holy life, that is, good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship."

When this was said, I told the mendicant Ananda: "Not so, Ananda! Not so! This is the entire holy life Ananda, that is, good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship. When a mendicant has a good friend, a good companion, a good comrade, it is to be expected that he will develop and cultivate the noble eightfold path."

There is a journey that we are on, a pilgrimage to the center of it all. It is a great unfolding, an interweaving, and the connections that we make along that journey are important.

The relationships that we have along the way inspire us, pick us up, remind us of why we are here.
It is not about becoming something that we are not,
but reminding us of the person
that we already see
in ourselves.
And being true to that.

Thank you good friend. Comrades indeed!

Occupy.

We need you to occupy the world that you are in.

We need you to figure out how to be present in that world. We need you to do the inner work necessary so that you can participate in that world with kindness, compassion and generosity. We need you to learn how to use resistance, hesitation and fear as a call to be deeply present in a world of chaos.

That world doesn't need to be big. It doesn't need to be the whole world. Matter of fact, it shouldn't be the whole world and it can't be the whole world. It is best to start small, the smaller the better.

Occupy your home with presence and contribute generously to the well-being and happiness of your family or friends. If your home is too big of a space and there is too much going on, choose one relationship to occupy with full presence and kindness, maybe with a teacher or partner. If that is too big of a space, choose to occupy yourself with presence and kindness. Learn to sit on your own meditation seat with honesty, kindness and openness. Learn to be understanding and receptive to your own suffering and discontentment.

When you learn to occupy your smallest world with compassion, kindness and generosity, gradually that world will start to expand and widen. You'll step into a larger world having already established a ground of presence. Gradually, walls will fall, doors will open and your vision will expand.

This applies to your relationships and your work. When you learn to be open and honest with yourself, you can be understanding and receptive to others. When we can be fully present and engaged with our friends and family, we can carry that presence into our communities when dealing with strangers. Gradually, we can learn to work with difficult situations and people who are creating problems for us along the way.

If you cannot handle your present environment, assuming a larger space will not make things easier or better. When you can learn to fully occupy your present space, your world will naturally widen and you will see where you can contribute to that larger world.

It all starts with presence. Learn to occupy the smallest space with presence and generosity. That probably means starting with your meditation cushion. As your practice deepens and you gain confidence, you will naturally be more present and be able to participate fully in the world at large.

If you were to pick one, which would it be?

Imagine a scenario:

You are an enlightened being. You are compassionate and generous. You bear a strong suit of patience. You have cunning wisdom and insight and the strong aspiration to bring benefit to all beings. You effortlessly fulfill the aims of others, simultaneously fulfilling your own aims. 

All other beings are unenlightened. You live in a world in which everyone is suffering. Everyone else doesn't understand the true nature of reality or their own nature. Your job is to tirelessly try to liberate them from their own confusion. You are the only one who has the vision and wisdom necessary to carry out that task.

Imagine another scenario:

You are unenlightened. You know your own suffering. Anger, attachment, frustration and delusion follow you like a shadow. You try to be generous, but end up holding back. You try to be patient, but end up blowing a fuse. You have insight, sure, but there are many days you just don't know what to do. 

Everyone else is enlightened.  Everyone else is trying to wake you up. Everyone is your teacher, a spiritual friend or a guide on the road. Every interaction is an opportunity, every trial is part of the path. Everyone is in on the game. You are the last to wake up. 

Both of these scenarios are unrealistic, but which one do you think would lead to quicker progress on the path?

The student-teacher relationship is not well understood in the west. There is a lot of cultural baggage and misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up. There is a lot of gross misconduct and deceit that takes place. You should properly analyze the teacher and the teachings. Once you do though, you should try to generate pure vision in regards to the teacher.

It may not be possible to see all beings as enlightened, to appreciate them all as guides on the path. That would be a stretch. But if we could see one person as enlightened and really be impacted by their teachings, then maybe we would be more receptive to other forms of teachers and teachings as well.

Start with one. One is the minimum. Be willing to be receptive, to generate reverence and devotion, to respect and to serve one being.  If you can do it with one, more will appear. 

Who knows, maybe you are the last one to wake up. 

Trainers, coaches and mentors.

The personal trainer helps someone who has never done the practice to get started.  Helps them to learn the techniques.  To stay motivated.  The personal trainer says, "Be here at 6pm and give me a hundred pushups."

The coach works with people who are passionate about the practice and want to get better, to overcome weaknesses.  They help them actualize their potential.  The coach says, "Great job on last weeks pushups. Your thighs are underdeveloped so let's work on those this week."   

The mentor works with people when they need them.  They build lifelong personal relationships.  They inspire, connect the dots and build a bigger picture.  The mentor says, "I have enjoyed watching you overcome challenge after challenge this past year.  How were you able to work through pain and failure along the way? What are you going to focus on this year?"

Each of these requires a different level of time and energy.  Each has its own function and purpose.  

 

Do we need more personal trainers?  Definitely, a lot of people don't know how to do the practice or how to get past their own personal obstacles.  

 

Do we need better coaches?  Definitely, a lot of people have their own practice, but either feel stuck or don't see how it all fits together.  

 

Do we need more mentors?  Of course.  We need people who are generous with their time and energy, people who are willing to be present, to listen and to nudge.    

The personal trainer isn't doing their job if they are acting like a mentor.  A mentor who gets wrapped up in the specifics and tries to control outcomes and results isn't a mentor at all.  

Which are you trying to be?  What does your student need?

Liberation.

གྲོལ་བ་
Tibetan: drolwa
English: liberation, release, let go, freedom, untied

Most days we have a pretty visceral experience that we are not liberated.  We are often tied up in knots, awkward, caught up in highs and lows.  We don't really know how to relate to ourselves, others and the world around us.  We are caught up in a subject-object, self-other duality in which everything has its own compartment and attachment and aversion are our constant companions.

We don't need to look to far into our life to realize that we are not liberated.  What is the biggest source of problems in your day?  Work, your relationships, money, internal politics, chronic disease or illness?

Liberation is an experience of release or freedom.  When we talk about liberation it is the mind that is liberated.  What is the mind liberated from?  Negative emotions, concepts, habitual tendencies, karma and ignorance. 

We all have an experience of mundane liberation.  You quit your job and walk out the door, everything is suddenly lifted off your shoulders.  You finish a hard day at work and step out into the wide open sky.  You pay off the last of your debts, nothing more to worry about.  You orgasm, an ecstatic release of blissful sexual energy.  Your illness subsides.  Your doctor tells you the scan is clear.  You are healed.

It is funny, at least to someone aspiring to awakening, because you can see directly that which binds you by identifying these moments of struggle and mundane release, these moments of struggle where we really wish we were liberated.   

Those areas should be the focus of your practice.

Can you include them?  Is it even possible?

Violence, anger and inflammation.

I invite you to join me in a discussion.  

I think we need to talk about violence, anger and inflammation.  Not so much as it applies to politics and warfare, but as it applies to ourselves and our situation.  Where does it come from, and why is it so prevalent?

How do we respond when things get rough?
How do we approach disrespect in our relationships, workplace and community?
Is anger useful?  When and how?
What is the point of inflammation and does it actually achieve that purpose?
What is the root cause of anger?  Is it the same cause for violence?
How do we actually practice non-violence and commit to doing no harm in our own life?  How do we work with our own anger and reduce our inflammatory response to stressful situations?

I don't know where this meditation will lead us, but I hope you will join me in digging deeper.

Share your thoughts.  Share a story.  Share your insight.  Share it on your blog.  Share it via email.  Invite others. 

#DoNoHarm

I look forward to hearing from you.

Focus on your practice.

I think we all want to live purposeful lives.  We want our lives to have meaning and be of value.  We want to share our gifts with the world and to benefit others, but how do we do that?

For most of us our gifts are not readily apparent, and if they are we often don't know how to share them.  We often don't know how to coordinate our work, relationships, our families.  We may find ourselves making either/or decisions- family or career, push ahead or give up, succeed or fail.

How do we bring all of this onto the path?

Focus on your practice.

When you focus on your practice, your relationships benefit and are included in your practice.
When you focus on your practice, your work benefits and is included in your practice.
When you focus on your practice, your family benefits and is included in your practice.
When you focus on your practice, your problems and stress are included in your practice and become catalysts of your path.

Clarify your practice, and your practice clarifies you.
Experience value in your practice, and you experience your own value.
Discover the meaning of your practice, and discover your own meaning.

So what is your practice?

Do not take this question lightly.  Find it, clarify it, and everything else falls into place.

Are you happy?

That thing that you are doing, does it make you happy?  Are you happy?

What is happiness?

Is it the simple pleasures in life?  Those tasty morsels of chocolate following a decadent massage in a spa resort.
Is it being immersed in a challenging activity?  Having to push yourself past your limitations and the joy that comes with discovery and engagement.
Is it your relationships? Your family, friends and loved ones, your role in the community and your workplace.
Is it your purpose?  This quest that you have embarked on that serves the greater good.
Is it your accomplishments?  Your titles and honors.  The impact that you have had on others and the blood, sweat and tears that went into fulfilling those projects.

Happiness is all of those things, and I hope you have it.

It is said to be our inalienable right to pursue happiness.  For a long time I thought that meant to pursue our own happiness, but what if it meant to pursue the happiness of others?

What if our simple pleasure was to delight, surprise and benefit others?
What if our challenging activity was to overcome our selfishness, fear and uncertainty and honestly strive to be generous, loving and kind in order to help others?
What if our relationships- with our family, friends and community- revolved around enriching their lives and promoting their aims?
What if this was your purpose?  Your quest?
What if you accomplished it?

Would you be happy?