Friday, November 13, 2020

Trust your self.

Trust your self. Your hidden self, the self that knows how you can show up in the world. 

How we show up in the world is not one self, for each of us plays many roles in this single lifetime. How you show up for your child is different than how you show up for your partner or friend. How you show up at work changes depending on if you are interacting with your coworker, your client, or your boss. 

We would like to think that we can be the same person for all of these roles, that we can bring our authentic self to each of these interactions. But we can't. Each person is asking and expecting something different from us. 

So which of these is your true, authentic self? Which is these is the self that we should trust?

The simple answer is none of these, and all of these.

Chogyam Trungpa says: 

The bad news is you're falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. 
The good news is, there's no ground.

We are constantly searching for an identity to hold onto to prevent that feeling of falling (and failing). We are searching for a form that suits us and the image in our heads of who we can be. There is comfort and reassurance in knowing we have a ground to stand on and a position to stand by. 

But there is no ground. Those titles that we have and those roles that we play are not truly who we are or what we do, because we are not one-thing. 

And yet, in the process of discovering who we are, we generously meet people where they are at, helping them in some way. In Seth Godin's new book The Practice, he says:

Generosity is the most direct way to find the practice.

That's the good news. In the process (practice) of discovering who we are and our place in the world, we can get comfortable with the fact that there is no ground, and no fatal crash at the end that is going to be the end of us. When you no longer need to worry about hitting the ground, falling starts to look like flying, and you can direct your attention to starting to learn how to navigate that new space. 

Learning how to navigate life with openness, responsiveness and availability is itself a worthwhile practice, regardless of the results of your endeavor. As Seth says: 

Do you trust yourself enough to commit to engaging with a [practice] regardless of the chances of success?

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