You don't need to perform well to be loved.

You don't need to be the best at what you do.
You don't need to be the smartest, or have the best questions or most insightful answers.
You don't need to be a generous donor or diligently contribute in meaningful ways.
You don't need to show progress. You don't need to prove your worth or your value.

Come as you are.

In circles where you are doing the deep work of waking yourself up, of wrestling with your inner demons and trying to free yourself from the prison of your own confused perceptions and emotional trauma, you don't need to perform well to be loved.

We accept you as you are. And we are going to support you in your practice until you can figure out how to do that as well.

You will be judged.

There will be haters and critics. You will encounter dissenters and contempt. Others might even try to make you feel worthless.

It's going to happen.

Don't react.

Listen, acknowledge, but don't respond. It is not your job to change their minds. No matter how astute your arguments, you will lose. Let your silence and presence do the work.

Focus on what you can control, your own mind and your intentions. 

How to work with anger.

How do we take anger as a guide?  How can we use it skillfully?  When we see ourselves getting angry, we might be able to catch some insight into the path ahead.  

You are in this situation, this conflict, this struggle and you can either figure it out or get swept away in it.  You can resolve it or escalate it.  You can pacify the problem or you can blow it up.  You can minimize the damage or you can involve everyone who could possibly be involved.  Cool it or heat it up.   

So you are faced with a choice.  When you are angry, do you apply the principles of your practice or do you escalate the problem? 

Part of this is failing.  You will get angry.  You will lose your temper.  You will snap back.  Don't beat yourself up.  But do look closely, when anger showed is ugly face, was there a moment when you tried to work with it?  Were you able to dance with it, just for a bit? 

Fail. And fail.  And fail some more.  It is worth the effort to keep practicing. 

#DoNoHarm

Containing violence.

Every action takes place in a supporting environment.

Let's take a look at that support.  It depends on the place, the people present, the contributing factors and conditions.  Nothing is isolated.

So are we containers for violence?

Terrible things happen every day, things that are not our fault and things that we didn't do.  They are happening and we are not involved and not responsible, so we are innocent.  But are we innocent?  Are our hands clean?  Or is our innocence a contributing factor?  By doing nothing, are we acting as a container for which this aggression gets perpetuated?

The individual and the collective.  Not as separate as they seem.

#DoNoHarm

Non-violence.

Non-harmful
Non-hateful
Non-inflammatory
Non-demeaning
Non-aggressive
Non-controlling
Non-manipulating
Non-wrong doing
Non-disrespectful
Non-sinful
Non-destructive

But non-violent doesn't mean you have to be passive.  You can be:
Assertive
Confident
Honest
Purposeful
Direct
Stand your ground
Passionate
Resolute
Committed
Intent

#DoNoHarm

Tinder for the flames.

What are your attachments?  They are tinder for the flames of anger.

Worry about what others think of you?  The smallest slight to your name and anger boils.
Worry about winning the next project?  Any gains by your competitors put you in a frenzy.
Have to control your environment?  Any wrinkle or slip and your are caught up in a fit.
Your welfare more important than others?  Everyone presents a battle to be fought.

What are you holding, what are you guarding, what are you demanding and expecting?

It's all tinder, waiting to be set to flame by the smallest of sparks.

#DoNoHarm

A natural process?

Inflammation occurs when the body suffers an insult or is damaged in some way.  The body unleashes a complex inflammatory cascade to fight off the invasive stimulus in an attempt to minimize damage and restore health.  Inflammation is a natural process and is designed to promote a self-sustaining organism, but it can also lead to chronic disease.

Chronic inflammation leads to conditions such as arthritis, Chrohn's disease, heart disease and recent research even includes depression as a result of inflammation of the brain. 

So when is inflammation good, and when is it bad?

The difference from a biological perspective is whether it promotes health and well being.  Inflammation that leads to conditions such as arthritis or heart disease is bad, in that they are indicators of decreased quality of life and higher mortality.  Inflammation that leads to the restoration of health and the neutralizing of infection or injury is determined to be good.

How about anger?

Anger often results when we suffer an insult or attack from another person or from a challenging situation.  Does anger arise as a defense mechanism?  If so, what are we defending?  Is it designed to restore health and balance?  Or does the inflammation of our anger engender unease and further conflict?

When is anger an appropriate response and what does it look like?  When is anger unjust and disruptive? 

It might be worth contemplating.  What do you think?

#DoNoHarm