First, tumult.

Its easy to sit along a beautiful lake and enjoy the silence.  So still, so calm.  Every fish, every call of a bird, every movement is a chorus of life.  Perfect, just as it is. 

Easy still is it to sit alongside a gently flowing river.  Continuous, flowing, inspiring, yet peaceful.  The flow of life passing by.

Further upstream we encounter rougher waters.  Cascading falls, rushing gorges, roaring waters.  Its rough through here, even dangerous.  You definitely need to watch your step.

Further still you move up into the mountains.  A melting snow pack.  Drip, by drip, by drip.

We want our practice to be like a beautiful lake.  We want to sit with complete presence and stillness, to experience that profound peace and enjoyment.

Our experience is different however. 

When we sit to meditate we experience the rushing current of the mind, the cascade of thoughts and the tumultuous waters of negative emotions.  Then we think, "I can't make it through here, it's to scary" and give up. 

To get to the beautiful lake, you need to pass through the rougher waters.  You need mindfulness and vigilance to make it through, but eventually you make it down to the gently flowing river of meditation.  Continue further and you end up in the deep, crystal clear waters of vast lakes and oceans. 

All of this starts drip by drip.  Again and again we start down the path, each moment a new opportunity.  The tumult means we are on our way. 

Metaphor for the nature of mind.

A glass of water.

What are the qualities of a glass of pure water?

Transparent, clear, refreshing, healthy, reflective surface.

The pure water represents the nature of our own mind, with its qualities of being pure, transparent, calm and clear.  A state of natural peace and health.  A pristine state of self-reflexive awareness. The Buddha referred to this as the tathagatagarbha, or buddha heart. The water represents our natural condition.  

What happens if we put a handful of dirt in the water? Now what qualities do we notice? The glass is mucky, cloudy, obscured, disgusting, impure.

The dirt represents all of our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, habitual patterns and conditioning. We really identify with the dirt. Do we even notice the originally pure water?

How many of us are busy and have to stay on top of many responsibilities? Me too. Start stirring the glass. 

Normally we spend most of our days stirring that glass up, cycling through various mental states and emotional responses.  Our habits and actions keep churning up that dirt in the glass, the dirt swirling and obscuring the qualities of the water.   

But what happens if we let the water rest.  Just set it down and let it rest. At first it continues to swirl for a little bit, right? As we let it sit for five or ten minutes, naturally the dirt starts to settle.  The natural qualities of the water reveal themselves without any effort.

The dirt doesn't go away. Actually the handful of dirt occupies very little of the glass once it settles out. In the beginning, the dirt occupies almost all of our identity, but once we learn to recognize our natural condition then we become less preoccupied with our own thoughts and feelings. They no longer overwhelm us, since we know how to work with them.

What this metaphor reveals to us is that we simply need to learn how to bring the mind to rest. As we learn to rest naturally, thoughts, sights and sounds settle into their own place.

Rest naturally and emotions and fears disappear revealing insight and clarity.
Rest naturally and our habits and karmic conditioning lose their impetus.
Rest naturally and the qualities of the nature of mind reveal themselves.
Rest naturally and our intrinsic buddhanature becomes evident.
Rest naturally, and there is nothing more to do.    

Why don't I remember my past life?

Reincarnation is not a dogmatic Buddhist belief.  You do not have to believe in reincarnation to be Buddhist or practice the Buddha's teachings.  What you should do is analyze yourself, study the scriptures and come to your own understanding through study, reflection and meditation.

To understand reincarnation and rebirth you need to understand consciousness and what it is that is being reborn.  This is actually very difficult to do, because even though we all know we have a mind, we really have a very limited understanding about how it actually works.

Let's use the analogy of a river.

When you stand at a river's edge, the only part of the river that you really experience is, well, this part.  Right now, right here.  You can look up the river a ways and even down river for a little bit, but really the only river you really 'know' is this segment.

Actually this tiny portion of the river contains a lot of information in it.

Let's scoop up a sample of that water, what is in it?  We have a variety of thoughts, sights, sounds, feelings, sensations, smells and tastes.  All water bubbles.  These come and go in an endless variety.  Wherever you are on the river, you will find water bubbles.

What else is there?  Oh, here is a preference!  That is strange, I wonder where it can from.  When you find something, it is possible to trace it upstream to some source.  Let's say it is a preference for dark chocolate, what was it in your past that created this preference?  Some great experience, maybe a strong dislike of white chocolate led you on a chocolate tasting frenzy and you found a delicious morsel of dark chocolate that to this very day has you searching in local shops for more.

What else?  A memory.  Let's say it is a face.  Where did I meet you, trace and trace and trace and, Yes!  I met you at that one event with my great uncle.

What else?  Here is a belief.  That's weird, where did that come from?  Is it cultural, your family upbringing, religious or political.  Must have a source, let's investigate.

There must be something else here.  Oh, wait.  Here is kindness.  And love.  And humility.  And fear.  Damn, where did those come from?  Where does my sexual orientation come from, my unflagging interest in learning, my desire to build meaningful connections?  Honestly, I don't really know.  I mean I can trace a lot of that back upstream through my life and find certain markers to indicate their presence, but there isn't always a clear source. 

So, the question remains, why don't I remember my past life?

Well, what did you do on June 3, 2014.  No cheating.  No looking at your calendar to check what your schedule was that day, just tell me.  I bet you cannot.  You might be able to reconstruct that date based on a nearby event or since it was close to Memorial Day you might be able to infer an answer with some calculation, but really you have no idea.  No idea what you ate, no idea what you did, no idea if it was a good day or a bad day, no idea at all. Why? Because there is nothing you can hold onto.  It is water through your hands.

Maybe that is what we are supposed to get from all of this, that while we can trace back to events and memories in our past, there is nothing to hold onto. The only way to gain clarity on these matters is to develop a calm and pristine mind, then you might be able to pick up on subtle connections that pervade your past, present and future. 

So that leaves one other question, what does our future hold?

What are you doing with the water right now?  What imprints and traces are you leaving?  How are you influencing its quality and its course?  What are you doing, right now?  This is really the foundation of all the Buddha's teachings on karma and dependent origination.  Everything is contained by simply looking at your mind and your actions. 

If you want to know your past life, look at your present condition.

If you want to know your future life, look at your present actions.

~Padmasambhava

Of course the river analogy fits perfectly with our linear perception of time and space, past and future.  What happens if we use a vast matrix or even space to understand the mind?  Think about it.

Akshobhya

OM AH HUNG AKSHOBHYA VAJRA HUNG

Akshobhya is one of the Five Family Buddhas.  

His pure land is Abhirati, Manifest Joy, representing the great joy and happiness experienced by the awakened ones.  His color is deep blue, like the depths of the ocean representing his activity of pacification.  His mudra is the earth-touching mudra symbolizing mother earth bearing witness to his victory over Mara.  His left hand rests in his lap in meditative equipoise holding a five pointed vajra.  The vajra represents the indestructible, immovable and impenetrable awakened mind which is the enlightenment of buddhahood.  

In regard to our own mind and self, Akshobhya represents the skandha of consciousness.  Consciousness serves as the basis for all of our experience, whether it is our experience of sense perceptions or our experience of mind and mental states.  Consciousness can be both non-conceptual knowing or experience or it can involve concepts and thought constructs.  It is important to recognize that the skandha of consciousness is not the forms that appears (the first skandha), it is not sensation (which is the second skandha), it is not perception (which is the third skandha) and it is not judgement or concepts themselves (which are the fourth skandha).  Consciousness as the basis of experience focuses on what is useful or what validates our sense of self and ignores whatever conflicts with what we perceive as our 'self'.  Our constant struggle to find 'who we are' involves this never ending play of the skandhas with consciousness serving as the stage in which these stories play themselves out. 

Akshobhya is the Buddha that represents completely purified aversion or aggression.  As our sense of self hardens we become more self-righteous, more opinionated and critical of others.  We become very authoritarian and assertive.  These mental states naturally encounter conflict and problems in our world and relationships which provoke anger and aggression.  This is much like being on the surface of a great ocean, the winds of change stir up great waves of emotion and we are constantly struggling to stay afloat.  Akshobhya represents the transformation of that aversion and aggression into mirror-like wisdom.  A mirror is crystal clear, empty and luminous.  It perfectly reflects whatever is placed in front of it without any distortion, manipulation or contrivance.  It holds everything but is not stained by the defects of whatever appears.  A mirror is like a completely placid ocean in which everything is perfectly reflected but you can also peer into the profound depths. 

Akshobhya rides an elephant possessed with all the major and minor marks.  A wild elephant represents the undisciplined mind and is very difficult to control and can easily cause a lot of damage.  A trained elephant is able to withstand much trauma and hardship, it can easily remove obstacles and can make its way through a thick jungle by clearing a path with its tusks of mindfulness and vigilance.  An elephant has great endurance and is unassailable by its enemies, yet it is also wise and dignified, moving with great majesty and beauty. 

When we deeply contemplate and integrate the wisdom and symbolism of Akshobhya, we can learn to transmute aversion into mirror-like wisdom.  Rather than getting caught up in situations and reacting to them, constantly fighting them like the waves of the ocean; we can relax into the depths of the ocean and experience the immovable and unshakeable depths of awakened mind.  Water seems fluid and ethereal, but it is extremely powerful and can carve out rock without requiring violence or aggression.  When we realize the indestructible nature of mind, like a mirror we can hold whatever hardship and adversity we experience, we can work with whatever problems and obstacles Mara conjures up and we can gain complete victory in the impenetrable fortress of the true nature of reality.  In this way all obstacles and negativity are naturally pacified and abiding in Abhirati, one experiences great joy and happiness at this triumph. 

It is easy for others to bear witness to this victory, because it is not stained by self-righteousness or egotism.  The holders of the indestructible awakened mind ride elephants, blazing paths where the way seemed too fraught with danger.  They move with majesty and poise and tirelessly carry others to the far shore.