Siddhearta's Essence of 2017.

2017 was a very challenging year for most of us. There has been a lot of baseline anxiety, tension and frustration with our outer world and the perceived trajectory that we are all on. I really decided to focus a lot of my time and energy to meditation and teaching various courses for Younge Drodul Ling that were practice focused and useful. During much of the past six months, my writing has been mixed with my contemplation for these courses, which I have organized as a two part series on Bringing the Mind to Rest. These are in no way complete or comprehensive, but have been useful for me as I have been teaching those courses to other students. I hope you will enjoy reading through them on your own time.

Bringing the Mind to Rest series and other selected works.

I appreciate all of your support over this past year. I know it is easy to get sucked into the media these days, so thank you for choosing to take a moment to spend your time with me, listening to me, sitting with me, and hopefully using a tiny bit here and there to connect back to your own life and practice. Our practice is most important during times of change and uncertainty, continue to nurture and use it.

Here is an overview of the top posts from 2017, in no particular order.

Endless iterations. 
Reverence. 
Feeling Stuck. 
Complexity, simplified.
Barchay. 
Buddha heart.
Lit up. 
Unpaid debt.
Dharma. 
Idolatry. 
Feeding concepts.
Born free.
Say yes.
Different emanations.
I hope. 
Honor.
Buddha eye. 

I wish you all a wonderful New Year!
May you enjoy health and a peaceful mind!
May you focus on your practice,
generously share love and kindness,
and may you accomplish the aims of yourself and others!

Objects of gratitude.

Success can take many forms. 

Fancy cars, big bonuses, new additions, first homes, second homes, happy hours and weekend getaways.  Buy what you want.  Build a pile of what you think you need. 

Walk through your area and you are likely surrounded by people living out their success story.  Money and status grant us certain comforts and security, but underneath that success, how many people are really satisfied and content?

A lot of the contentment and satisfaction in our lives comes from being objects of gratitude.  We have been relied upon, trusted, made an impact and been present in someones life and they feel grateful for that presence.

We don't own that gratitude, yet we benefit greatly and derive deep satisfaction and joy from it. 

Instead of chasing success, maybe we should pursue more opportunities to impact the lives of others.  

I know this life will come to pass.

Morning dew beneath your toes.
Light rays of sunshine, illuminating worlds.
Gentle breeze, rustling leaves.
Drip by drip,
Deep pools of samadhi.
A slow meandering walk, going nowhere,
holding hands,
big step, another step.
Way to go.
A smile, a glance, a friendly wave.
Doors open.
Off to work, working,
hurried, intense, what am I forgetting?
Panting dog, a warm cuddle.
Engine roars, silence.
Excitement, laughs,
tending, caring, picking up the pieces.
Holding, waiting,
there you go.
Rising moon.
Moments lasting eons,
hours gone in a flash.
Coming, going,
unceasing.
Inhale.  Exhale.

I know this life will come to pass.

A better version of yourself.

You are an individual.  You are a father, a mother, a son or daughter.  You are a partner, a friend, a student and a teacher.  You have a profession, hobbies, passions and curiosities.  You might be young or old, beautiful or well worn, trendy or old-fashioned. 

You are all of those things, and none of those things are you.

You've ridden on the highest of highs, sailed through the lowest of lows.  You have hopes and fears, ideas and aspirations.  You have stories you tell yourself when you are in a slump, and stories you tell yourself when you are basking in the limelight.

You are all of those things, and none of those things are you.

You are a mosaic.

You are millions of pieces of broken bits, shards of glass and shattered pieces gathered over lifetimes of moments, actions and interactions.    

You are an aggregate of stones, some white, some black, amassed over mountaintops and rolling hills, through dense forests and sandy beaches, across good times and bad in cities and villages that have come and gone.  Tiny pieces brought together from your youth, through aging and sickness, pain and suffering, opportunity and loss. 

People will want to take pieces of you, pieces to call their own.  Let them.  Those shards are not your own and scars and imperfections enhance your beauty. 

You will be judged and you will judge yourself.  Judged for your form, for how you come together, criticized for your proportions and the depth of your character.  It's okay to listen to judgement, for it voices what is real to what is the ideal.  Not necessarily your ideal, but an ideal not yet embodied and probably not found. 

You are dynamic, constantly changing.  A continuous process of transformation, gain and loss, old and new, death and birth.

You will likely spend years, maybe even a lifetime, trying to piece together the broken shards into a picture that makes sense.  You'll try as you might to figure it out, to make it more beautiful or more meaningful, all in the search of a better self. 

It is my hope, indeed my greatest aspiration,
that someday before you are lying on your deathbed,
that you will not suffer from grief or regret. 
That you will simply rest.
The continuum of time and space embodied in the present
as a collection of millions of broken bits,
bits that don't make sense and some that do,
all of them coming together in a beautiful moment,
a moment of joy, rapture, tenderness and forgiveness.
A moment of gratitude and appreciation, wonder and awe. 
Where you discover a better version of your self.

Grateful for the opportunity.

I was just about to head out and drive to work today when my dog needed to go to the bathroom.  I let her out and she was back in a minute. 

So I left.

As I was driving to work, about to cross the Ballard bridge, I saw a terrible accident up ahead.  Several cars were involved in the accident and it did not look good.  A cop car was at the scene and there was an ambulance racing up from behind in the distance. 

I couldn't help but think, what if I had left a minute sooner?

Our life is so precious.  We can never be sure of the time and circumstances of our death.  We do our best to control all the variables, but when death arrives we have no choice.

Take a moment to express gratitude today.

Be thankful that you were able to share this day, how fortunate we are to have this opportunity, and how important it is that we use every day as if it is our last. 

Letting sadness wash over me.

I am giving my heart over to sadness,
no longer holding it at bay. 
Feeling it overwhelm me, overcome me,
letting it remind me of all the pain,
the sorrow and disappointment.
I am letting sadness wash over me,
because the sadness is carried by love.
Sadness at those lost, lost loved one, lost memories,
lost days, weeks and months,
lost moments and lost opportunities.
When my heart breaks with sadness,
I feel awash in love.
This love is overwhelming,
it breaks me and I want to be broken.
I no longer want to hold back,
to distance myself from the pain,
from the turmoil and sadness.
Love is enduring, it carries you through,
it holds you when you are broken,
waits for doors to open and gives you time to walk through.
When my heart is filled with sadness,
gratitude and appreciation arise at every step,
every street corner and every face.
Happiness is a shooting star across a magical night sky,
but sadness, include sadness in your love,
and love is everywhere.