Stuck.

Many of us feel stuck in our life or in our situation. Day after day we travel on well-worn tracks of habitual routines. Changing directions or charting a new course seems like a remote possibility.

Most of our days we are simply going through the motions, moving from one task to the next. We have to get from point A to point B and we hustle to get there on time. Along the way we are bombarded with news and information, consuming a never ending stream of entertainment. The effort to remain present and aware can be daunting, as our minds are habituated to following after the shiniest and most colorful objects.

When those very same wandering and distracted hearts and minds catch a moment of presence, a world of possibility opens up. Our world opens up to wonder and awe, and we enjoy a greater sense of well-being. In those moments, we may realize that we don't need to recreate our life anew, but that we can meaningfully participate in and create this very life as it continues to unfold before us.

The challenge then, is how to we catch those moments of presence? What signs or indications can we rely on?

Notice when you are feeling stuck. Notice when you are hiding, or scared, or hesitating. Notice when you are anxious or stressed. Those are the signs to look for on the road. When you see the signs, look for the Buddha within.

"Go to the places that scare you. 

In haunted places, seek the Buddha within yourself."

Padampa Sangye's advice to Machig Labdron

This might be your chance.

Suffering.  Pain.  Death.  Fear.  Anxiety.  Problems.

Don't push them away.  Don't run.

Look deeply at what is presenting itself.  Sit with the irritation and pain.  Relax into it.  Don't hold onto it, but don't push it away.  Just look directly at it. 

This might be your chance.  This might be the moment you gain insight into the nature of the problem.  This might be your opportunity to change.  This might be the moment you experience freedom from whatever is manifesting. 

Don't waver. 

This might be your chance. 

Questioning ourselves.

We often question ourselves, our worth and our value.

Are we good enough?  Are we worth it?  Can we really do this? 

Questioning our value is pretty common.   Why don't we ever question our fear and uncertainty?

Is it worth it to be angry?  Is it worth it to be jealous of others achievements? 

What do we get out of this worry and anxiousness?

What do we get out of feeling bad for ourselves?

We over invest in our thoughts and feelings, which are like clouds drifting through the sky.
We under invest in our potential, which is like the spacious sky.

Hooked.

ལེན་པ་
Tibetan: Lenpa
English: Grasping, clinging, fixation, hooked, to hold, to perpetuate

When we encounter a problem in our life- stress, anxiety, difficult situations or decisions- we think the problems themselves are the actual problem.  The problems are to blame for how we feel and how our day went.  You know, when something can go wrong it will go wrong.

And it does, all the time. 

But what if the problem wasn't the actual problem.  What if it was our fixation and grasping to the problem?  What if it was our habit of getting hooked and perpetuating the problem? 

Problems come and go all the time.  We can either fight them tooth and nail and let them continue to torment us and our sleep, or we can see them as reminders of why we need to continue our practice.

If we don't get hooked there is a chance we can work through them.  In that way problems offer us a chance at liberation. 

Just breathe.

You hear this a lot.  Don't freak out.  Don't panic.  Don't blow this up any bigger than it is. 

Just breathe.

Part of what this advice is suggesting is: Don't get caught up in your emotions and the situation.  If staying with your breathe can help you hang in there longer, stay focused and precise, then yes!  Just breathe.

But don't confuse just breathe with
just back away slowly,
just go find a safe place to hide,
just protect yourself,
because that is bad advice and that is not what we are doing here.

Just breathe.
Just let go of what you are stuck on.
Let go of having to control the situation.
Let go of 'this or that',
Let go of value judgements.
It's hot in here.  It is going to get hotter.
You have to dance to the music that is playing.
Just breathe.

The white-glove test.

You probably all remember cleaning as a child.  I do.  Do you remember dusting, thinking that everything was clean and tidy, only to have your mother or father come along and point out dust you hadn't noticed?

How about your house now?  I am willing to bet it looks pretty good, but would it stand up to the white-glove test?

Our minds are quite the same way.  We keep our standard routines in place to feel like we have our act together.  We eat healthy, exercise, get enough rest.  We enjoy expressing gratitude and sharing our gifts with the world.  We look and feel pretty good about ourselves.  We are actually really down to earth, good natured people.  

And then you sit down to meditate for ten minutes maintaining the discipline not to move.  The white-glove test.  What is really going on in our heads?

Most likely they are busy and restless.  Thoughts, projects, conversations and memories race across our minds like a proverbial dust storm.  We notice our minds chasing and grasping at all sorts of things- feelings, perceptions, sensations, appearances. 

Intense.

Of course it is up to you to decide what to do with this information.  You could let the dust be and see what happens, pretend its not there and hope no one notices.  You could wait around, hoping that maybe someone else will do the dirty work for you.  You could also get to work and start cleaning your own house. 

Up to you. 

That wasn't so bad.

Not nearly as bad as what you thought it was going to be.

Your perception of what you are about to experience is usually worse than the actual experience itself. 

Why do you think that is?

Undermining fear.

Fight the temptation to fill boredom with busyness. 

Resist the urge to reach for your cell phone.  Relinquish the need to look something up.  Wait to check your email, your social media, your news outlet. 

For a moment, just sit with the irritation of having an open moment.  Witness all the momentum and inertia pushing you to keep moving, keep doing.  Feel all the subtle agitation and static energy that insist on you shifting your attention somewhere else.

In order to avoid the uncomfortableness of the present we consume- food, ideas, news, pictures, entertainment- anything we can fit in that space at that time.
In order to avoid the hollowness of the present we do- all kinds of things.

At the root of all of these lie fear, uncertainty and doubt.  We consume and do all sorts of things just to avoid these unpleasant feelings and perceptions.  Our assumption is that by consuming and doing we might be able to avoid them all together.  We haven't succeeded to date.     
 
Cultivate space in your life.  Carve out intentional moments.  Create boundaries.  This is your battle field. 

As you learn to rest with openness, all the irritation, boredom and anxiousness are undermined.  As you dig deeper, fear and uncertainty have no ground on which to stand.  No longer holding onto any ground, openness gives rise to a natural outpouring of inner wealth and fullness.  A wellspring of generosity, kindness and compassion springs forth with nothing left to hold it back.

Of course, when you share generosity, kindness and compassion you are making yourself vulnerable.  With openness comes vulnerability, with vulnerability comes fear. 

This is the dance.  Dance with openness.  Dance with fear.  And I'm sorry in advance if a couple toes get stepped on. 

Eyelashes in your eye.

You are not your neurosis.  You are not your flaws.
You are not your mood, your mental state, your anxiety or depression.
You are not the pain, the suffering, the highs or the lows.

Yet you identify with it because it is so prominent, so strong.  So irritating.

But you know that it is not right.

You have a basic wisdom, an inner knowing that knows it is not who you are, that this is not the way that you were meant to be.

So you look to get better.  You look to fix yourself, to improve your health, your life.  You might even look for a pill.

But before you do, let me tell you:

You've already done the hard part.

You've identified the gap.

The gap between your neurosis and your wisdom.  The gap between the energetic display and your true nature.

That may be a big step to take all at once.  But what if you stopped identifying with the neurosis, the anxiety, the pain and the discomfort?

What if you identified with the unerring and true?  What if you identified with your natural clarity and your innate goodness?  Your wisdom?

Now that you have identified the gap,
you only need to train.

Neurotic.

Oh, how we love distraction.

It makes us feel normal again.  The constant busyness, the doing.  It makes us feel secure, in control, like we run this show.

The compulsion to move- itch that finger or ear, check our email, our phones.  Check Facebook, check the news, watch a show.  Call, text, move, shift, sort.

All this because we are uncomfortable.  Uncomfortable.  We are irritated, this baseline subtle irritation that never really goes away.

But we feel good when we keep moving.

We might complain about always being busy.  All the things we have to do or should do.  But really this is what we want, to keep doing.  Because the opposite is scary.

When we are not doing, all the irritation rises up.  It shows its ugly face. 

When we are not doing, we realize how uncomfortable we are.  We become aware of how painful our life is.  Likely we don't know how to deal with this situation, so we enter flight or fright mode.  And we run.  Or at least we move. 

Our society wonders why we suffer from so much anxiety, depression, loneliness and sadness.  Why are our lives unfulfilling, why do we feel like we are being constantly bombarded from all directions?

Because we are.  And we are running. 

Stop running.  Train your mind.  That is what it means to have a spiritual practice.
Clarify your practice.  Let your practice clarify you.

Commit not a single unwholesome action, 
Cultivate a wealth of virtue,
To tame this mind of ours, 
This is the doctrine of the Buddha.
Buddha Shakyamuni

A View as High as the Sky.

Next time you fly, grab a window seat.

From 30,000 feet you can see everything.  Your view is absolutely all-pervasive, completely clear and unobstructed. 

It is peaceful.  A serene tranquility in the spacious sky. 

Down below you can see infinite worlds and environs unfold.  Banks of clouds gather here and there, cities cascade across the landscape.  Cars move here and there, forming tiny chains of lights. You can look down on houses, imagine people going about their day, cooking, working, fighting, falling in love. 

From 30,000 feet you can witness all of these worlds amidst a profound inner stillness. 

As you descend you start to enter into the clouds, you start to feel the winds of turbulence- temporary conditions.  You still have a greater view than from the ground, but you are vulnerable to the winds and obstructed views.

Fear can show its ugly face.  There definitely can be some confusion as to where you are.  It's generally calm, true, but fear and uncertainty are always a moment away. 

As you continue to descend, the landing gear comes down.  Things are getting pretty busy.  You can see cars rushing all over, people passing each other on the highway.  Everything is much more coarse and distinct, that all-pervasive view of space is gone.  Sure, you know right where you are but there is no larger view.  Still, you are above the fray and there is a sense of peace and calm amidst.

Then you land, you are in the fray and can only look up and wonder what is around you, what lies ahead.  Everything is coarse, your emotions surge, your mind is filled with thoughts and plans.  You can't even get off the plane without trying to hurry or be annoyed with others around you. 

"God, it is hot in here!"

Gone is the peace, that spacious calm.  You are the fray. 

You probably don't realize it but we are all trying to gain a better view.  Most of us are content just to get above the fray, which is really just the final descent before we land. 

Having been to 30,000 feet, that seems silly.

If you want to make it to the clouds it is going to take some work.  You are going to need a practice.  You need something to rely on.  Do you think it is going to happen by chance?  It isn't easy to fly. 

Actually, to make it to the clouds is quite an accomplishment.  Think about it, you would have an expansive view of the world, yourself and others.  Undoubtedly you would face fear and uncertainty, get caught up in turbulent situations and dense clouds, but you would also know a profound inner peace and calm.  You would be able to see where people are and be able to help them, or at the very least to facilitate help arriving. 

So how do we get to 30,000 feet?

It requires you to move beyond conditions, beyond your temporary circumstances.  You need to completely transcend fear, eliminate all of your obscurations and the limitations of your view.  You need to move beyond all grasping and fixation, become a master of mindful awareness that illuminates like the sun in the spacious sky. 

The supreme view, the absolute pinnacle, is the view of Dzogchen, the Great Perfection. This is the only view that allows you to bring the experience and wisdom of 30,000 feet, into the fray. 

We all fall.

We all fall sometimes.

It happens in different ways.  It is almost always unexpected and out of the blue.

When we fall, we know it.  It hurts, we look like a fool and we put in the effort to get back up.

But what does falling look like?

You've fallen when your mind is filled with anxiety and worry, when you are feeling insecure and self-conscious.

You've fallen when fear and apprehension dictate your course, when you feel unsettled.

You've fallen when you are selfish and rude, when your words are sharp and cut at people's hearts.

You fallen when you act with an air of indifference, concerned with only your own comfort and needs.

You've fallen when you fume with anger and jealousy gnaws at your heart, when you mind is caught up in strong wants and mistaken needs.

If you don't listen, don't give a damn and can't stop talking about yourself, you've fallen.

So get up.

Things don't need to be this way, there is a path out of this.  This isn't permanent.  But you have to recognize that you have fallen.

It is ordinary to fall.  It is the extraordinary that can maintain their composure and get back up.

We need you to get up.

Go Back, and Learn.

Step back for a moment, from where you are, what you know.

Take a beginner's lesson in mathematics or programming at the Khan Academy.  Learn the proper technique used to row a boat.  Look up words you already know in the dictionary.

When you approach things you 'already know' with a beginner's mind, you discover all kinds of insight.  You see new connections.  You discover nuance, precision. 

The simplicity is refreshing.  The deliberateness humbling. 

What happens when we use this same mindset to approach our own anger, jealousy or fear?  Our preferences and perceptions?

If we deconstruct impatience, what does it look like?

What are the building blocks of anxiety and stress, is what we already know about them true?

Give yourself a chance to be a beginner again, with your self.

You may give rise to insight and understanding.  You may even feel refreshed.