There is a certain myth that some people are susceptible to regarding their own practice. It tends to draw people in, hooks them, ushers them along so they keep going.
It is the myth that your practice will make you a better person. The myth that you will be redeemed, made to be of value. It is the myth of the conceivable but not the reality, the fanciful stories we tell ourselves about who we could be as we regale ourselves with stories of immortality. Many follow that myth for years, working to be better, to fit reality with their vision, to be more happy. Really they are working to cover up the self-judgement and contempt that pervades our life.
The myth lives on in a self-centered practice. You are the practice, and the fruition you seek is a more complete you. But you can't win, because from the very beginning you have created a chasm that cannot be crossed and every misstep confirms your failure.
The practice you need is the one that makes you human. The one that enables you to walk with pain, to sit with uncertainty and to dance with fear. Practice so that you might be more kind to others, that you might extend your hand because you are able.
Let the fairy tale fall apart. Let the masquerade come to an end. The myth may have brought you here, but you don't need to keep believing it.
A true practice opens your heart and your mind, and you can experience that to be true.