Normally things aren't too bad. We are doing our own thing, working on our projects or catching up with friends and family. Life is busy.
We spend a lot of our time keeping ourselves busy.
Busy feels good. It is comfortable. We may complain about being busy to others, but secretly we know we want to be busy. Doing something.
What can I do?
Aversion keeps a pretty tight rope on our mind. Aversion really pervades most of our day, but we cover it up with being busy.
Don't believe me? You don't need to. Go stand in line at the post office for thirty minutes. Or get behind a slow driver who makes you miss the green light.
Lots of aversion going on, right?
Aversion in its coarsest state is anger. Full-blown, get the f outta my way, I got shit to do. Nobody really likes to be angry. They don't like the way it makes them feel and they don't like the impression it leaves on others.
A more subtle level of aversion is irritation and uncomfortableness. It is the habit to react and do. To fix and adjust. We have so much agitation and irritation going on in our body and mind that we need to keep moving just to avoid it.
Generally when people think of meditation they imagine a peaceful state of samadhi. Sitting blissed out in a state of ease. That might be true, sometimes, but in order to get there we need to get through all the irritation first.
When we sit in meditation, fully present and open, we notice the uncomfortableness of our body and feelings. Don't react. Don't fix. Don't judge.
Letting our body and feelings remain as they are, our irritation and agitation liberate themselves. We can hold onto that agitation and irritation and let it give rise to aversion, or we can let those feelings remain as they are, resolving themselves and freeing them in their own place.
So the next time you experience irritation or agitation, who is holding onto what? Are you moving just to keep moving, to keep escaping the irritation?
Rest in openness. Free yourself of this unnecessary burden.